elbo911
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Dev said so, it must be true.
!TheRoyalReaper!
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elbo911
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we don.t want that to happened
Some of y’all really saw ‘abandoned’ and immediately started writing eulogies like it was your high school sweetheart. Relax, it's just the dev trolling harder than the bully in Chapter 1. Next update will drop the same way my trust issues did: unexpectedly and full of emotional damage.
put a kappa on it next time nichan hahaSome of y’all really saw ‘abandoned’ and immediately started writing eulogies like it was your high school sweetheart. Relax, it's just the dev trolling harder than the bully in Chapter 1. Next update will drop the same way my trust issues did: unexpectedly and full of emotional damage.
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Me NiiChan? Nah, I’m just the side character stuck between the bully and the developer. My love life’s basically a weird rom-com where the bully keeps trolling and the dev just drops emotional bombs. Welcome to the chaos!
Opa Wants
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GibboBtw
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Julius Kingsley
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Okay, so I just reached the part where Aine and the MC make their relationship official. But the reveal that she liked him back then and even after they met again doesn't make any sense. She didn’t even remember him, lol and Gwen did, and even Aine's inner thoughts gave no indication that she had feelings for him, either back then or after they met again, especially during her talks with Freya. I think the prologue needs a serious rewrite on this part at least.
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I see what you mean. That part caught me off guard too, especially since Aine didn’t recognize the MC at first, while Gwen clearly did. It made the reveal feel a little sudden, like we missed some hints that should’ve been there. Even during her convos with Freya, there wasn’t much to suggest she had feelings for him all along.
That said, I’m still enjoying the story overall, and I know how tricky it can be to balance pacing and character reveals in a VN. Hopefully future updates flesh out Aine’s side a bit more. There’s definitely potential for a deeper emotional payoff there.
I'll take note and look at this before working on Ch2. Thanks for pointing this out. If you can find any continuity issues like this, please let me know.
EDIT: (This is why you need to stop with the damn backstories NiiChan!)
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Julius Kingsley
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Well, you were just starting, and the story changes as it goes. The characters grow on their own sometimes, so no one can really hold it against you. You handled Gwen and Emma well. As for Aine, my suggestion might require you to rewrite her part in the prologue, but I think it would make her more likeable and improve the relationship overall.
The only tweak I’d suggest is to make her recognize him but not know how to face him. Show her agonizing a little over it while dropping hints that she didn’t bully him because she wanted to, and that she feels regret about it. Or, if you think that would mess up the story, then at the very least make her remember his name (When she talks with Freya on the phone, she says she even forgot his name lol) and that he’s still the guy she likes and wants to meet and apologize to, now that she thinks her mother has finally given her freedom.
That way, even if she doesn’t recognize him right away, it would still fit her personality. She’s a bit naive, and he did lose weight and change, so it’s believable.
Really nice suggestions! Appreciate it!
Played only half of chapter one so far, and for some reason, I want Hera as a LI.