VN Ren'Py My Dorm [v0.21.2 S3 Ch.1] [Tropecita Games]

[PussyDelendaEst]

I explained myself badly. When I was talking about projecting, I was meaning the MC projecting his personality on Jack. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I would kick his ass when he was on the floor!!!
But the MC is a good boy who always opens his way out about anything by talking. He hasn't been in a fight like forever, and in Jack's circumstances, he would have confessed to Erika, although he wouldn't ever be in that position, to begin with. It's a constant in My Dorm that the MC is as honest as he can be without hurting other people. When he finally is in a relationship with a girl, before starting another one he tells the new girl about the 'harem'. He thinks talking about anything can get him anywhere, and he's not one to hide his mistakes.

Thanks, that clears it up. I should have thought about that a bit more. He really is the nicest cunt out there Suppose it adds a bit of depth too. You know if that was any other VN it's guns blazing haha. Thanks again Tropecita, keep up the good work!

 

[cate.archer]

TropecitaGames :
Hi ! I discovered your game by chance and I have to say: I love it!
I like the story so far.
All girls are cute and adorable. My favorite is Scarlett and Carol (of course). But everyone else is nice too. It's really good what you did with the girls' facial expressions during a conversation, I think it's very well done! And the individual characters are well written and amusing.
And what about their surveillance? And why are these girls all clones (can you please send me one or two? )
I'm really looking forward to the explanation of this part of the story. But I think this will take a few more updates or something.
Sadly I have now the game played to his now end and have to wait for the next update
All in all a great game! Keep it up ! Thanks very much !

 

[Trope95]

TropecitaGames :
Hi ! I discovered your game by chance and I have to say: I love it!
I like the story so far.
All girls are cute and adorable. My favorite is Scarlett and Carol (of course). But everyone else is nice too. It's really good what you did with the girls' facial expressions during a conversation, I think it's very well done! And the individual characters are well written and amusing.
And what about their surveillance? And why are these girls all clones (can you please send me one or two? )
I'm really looking forward to the explanation of this part of the story. But I think this will take a few more updates or something.
Sadly I have now the game played to his now end and have to wait for the next update
All in all a great game! Keep it up ! Thanks very much !

Hi cate.archer, thanks for trying My Dorm and for your words.
When you say Carol, I guess you've renamed her and you mean Daphne (redhead cousin with braided hair). Scarlett and Daphne have some interesting dynamics. They are the most clever girls in the house and they only lack experience.
I've tried to make the characters believable, and that includes their facial expressions. It's a visual novel after all, and the visual component should be important
The clone/surveillance subplot is important in the first phase of the game, but it happens outside of the MC sight, so we only get glimpses about it. The second phase will reveal the reasons for that plot.
The next update is scheduled for sometime next week for patrons and before Christmas for public release (if I can get it done in time)

 

[cate.archer]

TropecitaGames : Oh no ! Ashes on my head !!! I've meant Martha, the 'Mother' of the MC. I liked the name 'Carol' for her better, and confused things. Sorry about that ! Daphne is called Cindy by me.
>Asche auf mein Haupt, which literally translates to ‘Ashes on my head’, is a german-language phrase used by someone to express remorse for having made a mistake.<

It's a visual novel after all, and the visual component should be important

That's right !

The next update is scheduled for sometime next week for patrons and before Christmas for public release (if I can get it done in time)

That's wonderful news !!! I really looking forward to it !
Greetings from Vienna.
C.

 

[cate.archer]

The clone/surveillance subplot is important in the first phase of the game, but it happens outside of the MC sight, so we only get glimpses about it. The second phase will reveal the reasons for that plot.

Will the thing about the clones later also revealed ?

 

[Trope95]

TropecitaGames : Oh no ! Ashes on my head !!! I've meant Martha, the 'Mother' of the MC. I liked the name 'Carol' for her better, and confused things. Sorry about that ! Daphne is called Cindy by me.
>Asche auf mein Haupt, which literally translates to ‘Ashes on my head’, is a german-language phrase used by someone to express remorse for having made a mistake.<

That's right !

That's wonderful news !!! I really looking forward to it !
Greetings from Vienna.
C.

Don't need to be sorry. And even less if Martha is one of your favs. Welcome to the club
I know a dev shouldn't have a fav, but I can't help it. She uses sentences from my wife, so...

Will the thing about the clones later also revealed ?

Yes, there is some info in the intro (when you rename the characters), but all the secrets about that subplot will be revealed in an update not too long from now. In Eva and Amanda's first appearance they say something like "And that we only have six days left. On Monday everything will be solved." The last update was on Wednesday, so the "problem" will be solved on Monday and revealed to the characters some days later.

 

[cate.archer]

She uses sentences from my wife, so...

 

[cate.archer]

On Monday everything will be solved

The students are coming on Monday, right ?

 

[Trope95]

The students are coming on Monday, right ?

No, the students arrive on Friday, and Grandma on Saturday. The classes at the university begin on Monday (not related with the clone plot, but perhaps is what confused you about the students arrival)

 

[creeperawmann]

can you have sex with the mother yet?

 

[HornyyPussy]

can you have sex with the mother yet?

Not yet but it's getting close

 

[B_I_T]

Nice update

 

[SubspaceEmissary]

It's been said twice now but Ill reaffirm it the third time. I felt the same as you but crack on soldier, It gets better.

The only thing that maybe could be improved is a line of dialogue or in the choice box itself telling you that you are going to try and peacefully stop him or something? Or that you are shocked. Because MC says he surprised me or something... Dude had his dick out and his trousers round his ankles. You could have slapped him up then .

Having finished it up, I agree, while it is a low point of the game, the rest is super solid. I think a couple of line changes would make it work really well.

 

[Trope95]

Having finished it up, I agree, while it is a low point of the game, the rest is super solid. I think a couple of line changes would make it work really well.

Thanks for your words, SubspaceEmissary ,
What lines would you change?

 

[PussyDelendaEst]

Thanks for your words, SubspaceEmissary ,
What lines would you change?

I think an addition of dialogue might be best now that I've thought. Why not add in something like (just as you about to confront Jack/open door) "I can't get aggressive, that could cause Erika to lose her job". It then explains to all the cavemen like me why you are just standing there I'm sure you could put it me eloquently than me too, you think it's a valid addition? Cheers.

 

[Trope95]

I think an addition of dialogue might be best now that I've thought. Why not add in something like (just as you about to confront Jack/open door) "I can't get aggressive, that could cause Erika to lose her job". It then explains to all the cavemen like me why you are just standing there I'm sure you could put it me eloquently than me too, you think it's a valid addition? Cheers.

I think something along those lines would explain more of the MC's personality. It's a problem many of us "writers" have. Because we know the motivations of the characters, and we all think we're so good at it, we assume we've made those motivations clear. Sometimes we don't do a good job and the situation is not understood.
Let's see what you think about including these thoughts from the MC (first draft).
(Before opening the door): "I feel like smashing his face badly. But Erika could be in trouble if her cousin picks a fight at her workplace. Besides, it's been ages since I've been in a fight, and I was always on the receiving end."
(When Jack is on the floor): "If I were in his situation, I would confess my actions. It wouldn't save my relationship with Erika, but at least it would save a little bit of face, however little I had left."

 

[PussyDelendaEst]

I think something along those lines would explain more of the MC's personality. It's a problem many of us "writers" have. Because we know the motivations of the characters, and we all think we're so good at it, we assume we've made those motivations clear. Sometimes we don't do a good job and the situation is not understood.
Let's see what you think about including these thoughts from the MC (first draft).
(Before opening the door): "I feel like smashing his face badly. But Erika could be in trouble if her cousin picks a fight at her workplace. Besides, it's been ages since I've been in a fight, and I was always on the receiving end."
(When Jack is on the floor): "If I were in his situation, I would confess my actions. It wouldn't save my relationship with Erika, but at least it would save a little bit of face, however little I had left."

I can understand that and it must be really difficult at times. Afterall if that's just how a character is, why would he even inner monologue these things, he doesn't have to think about them. So I definitely sympathize with that. Must be hell when you are proof reading things haha, I'd be second guessing myself.

I really like that draft, I think it does more to explain MC's rationale and who he is. Perhaps adding something like "-It's been ages since I've been in a fight. None of them by my choice but something about this really pisses me off". This would reinforce how "alien" this is to MC (He rarely gets mad so he's shocked/confused at himself), but also provides a reason to why he opened the door. I mean he could have peeked over the top or used his phone to record from underneath ect.. but no, he opened it because he needed to confront Jack. Even if the intent was peaceful. So anger converted to confidence essentially.

I prefer your draft to what I just added but it's another spin on it atleast. I think you're line in the draft "I feel like smashing his face badly" is enough justification for entering although how about countering at the end of his inner monologue with "Lets see what he has to say for himself then" Just before opening the door (Implying no violence). This tells the player that whilst MC is initially angry, he thinks about Erika and her job and then cools off enough to still get answers for her but not to endanger her livelihood.

Hope my ramblings have helped if even a little bit, you're on the right track with it anyway mate. Thanks for being so attentive to the community.

 

[SubspaceEmissary]

Thanks for your words, SubspaceEmissary ,
What lines would you change?

Maybe just a bit more to make it clear in that moment that it was a cheap shot that the player character wasn't looking out for. The game does a good job of explaining that as the story goes along, but at the time, it feels like the player character is just weak. The outcome where the player character gets attacked outside the club is less degrading than the bathroom one though.

EDIT: The draft above looks great.

 

[S1nsational]

I understand why MC looks so old, but I'm 30, and he looks older than me.

That said the game has Harem, Incest, and Pregnancy so I have to give it a download and try.

also, seeing that girl with the very hairy pussy, far too few games have pubic hair like that, the ones that do deserve to be loved and cherished if they don't have any serious things to take away from them

 

[FatGiant]

I understand why MC looks so old, but I'm 30, and he looks older than me.

That said the game has Harem, Incest, and Pregnancy so I have to give it a download and try.

also, seeing that girl with the very hairy pussy, far too few games have pubic hair like that, the ones that do deserve to be loved and cherished if they don't have any serious things to take away from them

Oh, oh, fancy meeting you here... LOL

I do think you'll like it mate.

Peace