soldano
Member
- Jan 29, 2018
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Yes, Hutch is clearly emasculated. It could be because of Vivian. In fact, she often tells him, "Say it," in a very authoritarian way (even if it's with a smile). That's a classic form of domination. And besides Vivian, the reality is that at work she's always in the spotlight. She has that toxic colleague, Maxwell, if I remember correctly, who's always bothering he. And I guess Christian's domineering presence also has something to do with it, since Hutch feels very inferior to him. We don't know what their work relationship was like, but we can guess. Always treated with condescension. In the end, all of this undermines your self-esteem.
However, at the end of the day, it's Hutch who has let all this happen to him. He's incapable of asserting himself. If the first day your wife says to you, "Say it," you say, "Hey, no, look. That's what you think, not what I think. Say it if you want, but I'm not going to do it," you're already setting your boundaries. But Hutch doesn't do that because he's a coward.
Regarding the topic of generations... I don't know. I'm probably from the same generation as Hutch, and my generation was raised with this whole thing about men being more emotional, opening up, and all that. But I never bought into that. That doesn't mean a man has to be a rock and take everything. If you're fucked up, go talk to your friends. With your wife, well, you can tell her your problems, but never in a whiny way. Explain the problem, but also offer a solution. Or at least show her you're going to find a solution. In my experience, women don't respect crybabies. I've seen it happen several times, and despite what they say, they lose respect for them. I think this has to do with the evolution of human psychology. But I don't want to go into that too much, since it's highly debatable. What I can talk about is what I've seen: friends of mine who have bought into the narrative that they should be more open, more emotional... And their wives don't respect them. Or they've even always had tremendous trouble finding a partner. And that leads them to a vicious cycle in which their self-esteem is low, and it's even lower because either their wife doesn't respect them, or because they don't attract women. You get the picture, right?
Anyway, Hutch is certainly not a crybaby. And he hasn't bought into the narrative of being more open, more emotional, etc. However, he doesn't manage it well either. Being in control of your emotions doesn't mean staying silent. It means reacting to things rationally, without losing your temper. But don't let them boss you around.
