Hutch was losing his commission as a salesman as part of his job change - having a more "behind the scenes" role. It was said that his payment would be restructured too, so that he wouldn't see much of a salary change overall. (I think that was including Vivian's paymen though, so that's not entirely accurate. It means that the household wouldn't see a reduction, but it would still mean a reduction for Hutch overall.)
Agreed that you can be both a good husband and a good lover. I've not seen comments specifically saying you can't be both (though I admit to skimming some of the posts...), I think it was just Sunshine pulling out of Vivian that Hutch wasn't both. Even that is unclear though, IMO, as Vivian agrees that Hutch is the "safe" option, and not the "wild and exciting" option. You don't have to be wild and exciting to be a good lover though, which ties in with your point.
For the other bit, Christian does go down on Vivian, but I think we've only seen it once (in the office bathroom).
More surprisingly, I was thinking the other day and this has just reminded me... I don't think we've seen Vivian take a facial, as one of the staples of these games. Rain came on her back. Christian has given her a visible creampie and has cum in her mouth, with a little overflow, but I don't think there have been any other times we've actually seen a finish, or have we?