EvolutionKills

Well-Known Member
Jan 3, 2021
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Very kind of you volunteer and offer your time and effort to proof the script for him.
Not really. I just don't make accusations without having the receipts to back it up, that's all. But they absolutely should get a native English speaker to proofread and edit the script, so long as English continues to be the intended audience; as there is demonstrable room for a lot of improvement. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, and I would certainly include writing in that.
 
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EvolutionKills

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Jan 3, 2021
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Wow I'm speechless.
I thought dev do this mistakes on purpose because of MC personality.
He's antisocial, a bit introverted, never talk unnecessary thing.
Now, I'm starting to believe you.
And you also realize me how big dumbass I am.
That mean's he didn't do any grammatical mistakes on purpose?!
I have no idea. I cannot speak to the thought process of the author. What I can say however is that I don't have a problem with authors writing dialogue in the vernacular, and that includes making mistakes on purpose. But at the end of the day, you need to make sure that everything else is up to snuff so that those artistic flourishes and purposeful mistakes read as intentional. As it currently is, if any of these mistakes were intentional (such as the somewhat scatterbrained order of the last few slides), it gets lost in the sea of other mistakes and ends up looking like just another mistake.

For example, in Stormside there is a girl from Russia who speaks English as a second language. Her dialogue, and her dialogue only, is written to be a bit stilted and obtuse. It is very obviously being done intentionally to convey to the audience her lack of familiarity with the language, and it works because the author can easily contrast it with all of the other native speakers who are written to speak fluently. Plus, even her dialogue is presented with correct grammar (e.g. not using a comma in place of an ellipsis) so that you don't trip over that; and can instead focus on her word choice and what it says about her.
 
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shitass1001

Active Member
Jun 8, 2021
818
2,542
I think clear communication is key to conveying higher ideas, such as narrative. If you're fighting to communicate or getting your ideas across poorly, your story and characters are always going to suffer. Having a brilliant story does you no good if you cannot communicate it properly.

I mean, take one of the great classics, Homer's Iliad. Can you read it in the original Greek? What if someone dropped you off copy of War & Peace in the original Russian? How good is the prose if you cannot understand it?
That is an interesting way of looking at it. I have never really thought about this before now, as I usually just overlook grammatical errors when reading, but when you say it like that it makes more sense.
 
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Dec 29, 2023
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I have no idea. I cannot speak to the thought process of the author. What I can say however is that I don't have a problem with authors writing dialogue in the vernacular, and that includes making mistakes on purpose. But at the end of the day, you need to make sure that everything else is up to snuff so that those artistic flourishes and purposeful mistakes read as intentional. As it currently is, if any of these mistakes were intentional (such as the somewhat scatterbrained order of the last few slides), it gets lost in the sea of other mistakes and ends up looking like just another mistake.

For example, in Stormside there is a girl from Russia who speaks English as a second language. Her dialogue, and her dialogue only, is written to be a bit stilted and obtuse. It is very obviously being done intentionally to convey to the audience her lack of familiarity with the language, and it works because the author can easily contrast it with all of the other native speakers who are written to speak fluently. Plus, even her dialogue is presented with correct grammar (e.g. not using a comma in place of an ellipsis) so that you don't trip over that; and can instead focus on her word choice and what it says about her.
Man you have my respect.(y)
 

ActuallyArma

New Member
Sep 7, 2020
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I think the worst and most frustrating thing about it is that the game has been in development for almost FOUR YEARS now. One would think that the translation and proof reading quality would have improved since then, but no, it's consistent all throughout.

Part of me wonders if they're holding off for the game to be complete before seeking the help of a proof reader, or one that's better if they already have one.
 
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I don't know why but I thought why not play from the beginning, but i didn't expect to notice something like that. 20240221_220824.jpg
Here, as you can see clearly mc got his name from victor.
However, maya his biological mother tells him his whole childhood story but never mention his real name "The name he got from his own parents"
I don't know if it's a mistake or am I missing some crucial information.
Please, if anyone know please reply me.
 

Tyson Mikel

Member
Sep 16, 2023
114
230
I don't know why but I thought why not play from the beginning, but i didn't expect to notice something like that. View attachment 3374548
Here, as you can see clearly mc got his name from victor.
However, maya his biological mother tells him his whole childhood story but never mention his real name "The name he got from his own parents"
I don't know if it's a mistake or am I missing some crucial information.
Please, if anyone know please reply me.
Wtf?! Now I'm confuse as hell!
 

JKRollin'

Member
Dec 3, 2021
196
224
1708573015778.png
My Real Desire [Ch.3Ep.4Part1] - Public Edition

Happy Valentine, everyone!

My Real Desire [Ch.3Ep.4Part1] - Silver Edition is now available for you all! Enjoy!

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Patch *PC Only*
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Changelog:
- 210 New scenes.
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- 1800 Lines of code and dialogue.
- Main story's progression.
- Krystal's new event.
- Krysta's new sex scene.
- Angela's short event.
- New gallery added.
 

Bob69

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