That'd be nice but not really a must. As noted by doccop63, interacting with so many people and entertaining so many opinions could be distracting. So I guess it's good if you want to be more available for discussion than you already are. But yeah there's no real need especially seeing how much you interact here and in itch.
- Thread starter 7767
- Start date
I don't really se a reason to not have one, but you should probably manage it yourself.
Suslik575151
Member
- Jan 28, 2022
- 235
- 334
- 137
Dev, cool game, very nicely written. Still need to revise your script a bit, though.
Like here, for example. I assumed (based on a very different tone) that these lines are the Naomi from the future narrating the story from her pov. You'll want to stay consistent with the tense, otherwise the sentences just look awkward. Try "I was being put through" and "...there was probably..." and "...gave a shit...".
And in general, It's pretty important to stay consistent with the verb tense when writing a narrative. Otherwise, like I said, it'll be confusing to the reader, and the whole thing will just look awkward.
It is possible include present tense in a story told in past tense, but it has to be done carefully and only in very special circumstances, to achieve some specific effect. But, as an amateur writer, you should just avoid doing that and stay consistent.
Like here, for example. I assumed (based on a very different tone) that these lines are the Naomi from the future narrating the story from her pov. You'll want to stay consistent with the tense, otherwise the sentences just look awkward. Try "I was being put through" and "...there was probably..." and "...gave a shit...".
And in general, It's pretty important to stay consistent with the verb tense when writing a narrative. Otherwise, like I said, it'll be confusing to the reader, and the whole thing will just look awkward.
It is possible include present tense in a story told in past tense, but it has to be done carefully and only in very special circumstances, to achieve some specific effect. But, as an amateur writer, you should just avoid doing that and stay consistent.
- Jan 1, 2024
- 62
- 199
- 143
Go play a femdom game, nobody cares what you like, she needs to be broken. It's the title of the game. I would hate if your stupid ideas should mess up what seems like an excellent game.
The literal purpose of a forum is to enable people to voice out their opinions. People can and are having different views about how the ideal re-educated Naomi would look like and that's totally fine. The original comment was respectful to the Dev and is nearly voicing out their OPINIONS. So chill out brother.
Personally I don't wish Naomi becoming a brainless bimbo in the end without any personality, as she'll cease to be Naomi. But I welcome any directions Dev wants to lead it in.
- Jan 1, 2024
- 62
- 199
- 143
Agreed, love hearing all sorts of opinions on the story and I'd encourage respectful back and forth on people's thoughts about the story direction, the characters, etc!
Just so people understand though, I have a pretty strong creative vision for the overall story and the main script is pretty much set in stone. People shouldn't worry whether this forum will significantly sway the course of the story.
- Jan 1, 2024
- 62
- 199
- 143
Wow what a great game! Beads quiz was my favorite.
One suggestion: make her pubes grow during training, since she can't shave obviously while being locked in basement, would add to immersion greatly.
One suggestion: make her pubes grow during training, since she can't shave obviously while being locked in basement, would add to immersion greatly.
Found a typo that causes a crash (on linux anyway). There's a space at the end of the filename on line 5252 in script.rpy. Getting rid of the space fixes the issue for me.
That causes this error:
Code:
play sound "audio/soundeffect/cabinetopen.ogg "You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
- Jan 1, 2024
- 62
- 199
- 143
Interesting, I wonder if it's a Linux thing. I've corrected the typo on my end and I'll double check there aren't spaces anywhere else, thanks for the catch!
Just dropped a review because I really enjoy the writing and excellent composition of the game! I did want to ask though, are there any plans for denial or ruined orgasms for Naomi? I think it might fit well with her degradation arc here in the second chapter especially while she's still avoiding the "easy" path. Feels like she's becoming slowly used to getting to cum with each of these interactions and might be interesting to see her have to submit much more viscerally to get what she's turned her nose up at so far.
- Jan 1, 2024
- 62
- 199
- 143
Thank you so much for the review, really appreciate it! And as to your question, it'll be way in the future (2-3 updates from now) but I do have a scene planned that will explore orgasm denial, look forward to it.
Merlin-Magic
Member
- Jan 28, 2024
- 455
- 653
- 169
When I played the newest version, I did NOT get an error in Linux. When I saw the post, I also checked line 5252 of the script. Mine does NOT have a space, so I am not sure how some downloads have it, and others don't. Mine came from Itch.
Merlin-Magic
Member
- Jan 28, 2024
- 455
- 653
- 169
Dim the Wit
Newbie
- Sep 15, 2023
- 87
- 126
- 119
Just let Saf-Tea the right amount of time needed to make what they want to make, hurrying the update does no good for nobody
smuk
Member
- Jul 4, 2017
- 238
- 392
- 227
we should place him in the magic box, where time flies faster. than I think we will get update faster.