You're right about everything but one issue. This whole rant would sound way better had it started with "Hey, guys, I spent the last couple months learning how to code and came up with a game much like this one, here's a link, hope u like it and feel free to give me any feedback"
You say you'd do it better? Do it, then.
So, I'm not going to claim that I could code any kind of game, but I did support SO a long while back, and can compare the recent progress to early progress.
Early on there was something like a 2 month update cycle, with bug fixes shortly after release. There was normally one month with a large update, like the entirety of the standing sex scene or the dance class and dancing scene. The next moth would be a minor event like the find a phone scene, minor clothing changes and other tweaks.
Recently every month, if there was an update, has basically been 1-2 scenes written by fans and MAYBE a new thing SO did other than bug fixes, most often along the lines of the small updates from early in the development. Big updates have had massive bugs and / or been spread over multiple months (the cooking class scene in particular). Bug fixes are often left for the next month, rather than a within the week bug fix.
If the development by the same guy has massively changed / slowed from their early work, then anyone has the right to call them on it. Now, the current patreons can continue to support him for however long they think it's worth it (or until they remember they're still patreons if they forgot).
And honestly, there's a lot of issues with life sim porn games and in terms of the relative annoyances / needless complexities Newlife is one of the best that I know of in terms of being a game but one of the worst I've seen in terms of the paid developer's progress (again, comparing against himself).