Anyone who understands that NTR (netorare) and its fans are for the most part diametrically opposed to and turned off by NTS (netorase) much like heterosexual men are repulsed by gay and bi porn is on the right track and way ahead of most developers making this kind of game (at least when it comes to 3dcg ntr games, i don't know what the anime ones are like). Some nts fans do consume ntr porn just like some bi and gay men consume straight porn, that doesn't mean they should be catered to (they want ntr to be easy to avoid / fully controllable) and certainly not at the risk of ruining it for the target audience.
For instance choices like "NTR yes/no" repeatedly applied whenever NTR (netorare) is right about to happen are netorase sensibilities that ruin the experience for ntr fans, they should NEVER be in a route/game for NTR fans. Those things are only useful for NTS players who want to be able to pick and choose who their LIs "cheat" with (which the nts fans really perceive or consume as
sharing, something that only happens when they allow it) and for harem fans who don't want any ntr ever at any level.
For NTR fans NTR should be either unavoidable (the player has already given enough consent by choosing to play the ntr unavoidable game) or very hard to avoid (likewise). Having to instead choose yes/no right before a ntr scene means you have to repeatedly consent to being NTRd to see it happen therefore ruining the illusion that it's happening against your will. Also, having to deliberately pick dumb/antagonistic dialog choices against the LI to get NTRd will similarly ruin the illusion. You don't want to feel like you're forcing it to happen, you want to feel like it's being forced on you as much as possible.
Yes! NTR is about the MC's pov, not the cheater's. And certainly not about making decisions as the LI/choosing to cheat as the LI. And even if you don't make choices as the LI, simply being aware of cheating information from other povs that the MC isn't privy to will reduce the potential impact of the eventual NTR reveal scene. If the player already knows the wife is a dirty cheating whore from having witnessed a dozen cheating scenes through other povs he won't experience the same ntr shock as the MC does when the cheating is finally revealed to the MC, the player will be too out of sync with the MC.
Re: the other bullet points. They all sound good/nice to have but I can't judge if they're worth the added effort.
I'd already be happy with a 3dcg game (with no grind) where I/MC can get cheated on despite my best efforts to prevent it as MC, without having to play dumb by antagonizing the LIs, without having to pick "do you want to get ntred right now?" dialog choices right before it happens. Without being forced to witness it ahead of the mc from other povs. I've yet to find any game that even fits those simpler criteria .
Paradise City 's ntr path initially looked like it might work like that but then the design changed halfway through so now there's a whole lot of LI pov and you're making her cheating decisions for her.