Ren'Py Oridelle's Anti Evolution [v0.1.46] [Oridelle Hearth]

[Oridelle Hearth]

Update on itch.io BTW for anyone wanting it!!! Taking forever to update on here!

 

[crisbr]

nice!

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

nice!

Yea I guess uploaders aren't as degenerate as I thought I asked for a update like hours ago and still not here guess it wont be up till tomorrow...

 

[crisbr]

Yea I guess uploaders aren't as degenerate as I thought I asked for a update like hours ago and still not here guess it wont be up till tomorrow...

Hahahah

 

[Ruza]

during the Tex ride scene, she calls him ozul instead of the player chosen name

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

during the Tex ride scene, she calls him ozul instead of the player chosen name

Thanks for leting me know ill fix when I can some time that slips through just need to put [] on ozul name and forget sometimes will update for next update

 

[capt21]

Nice, can't wait to play the update

 

[Kateterpeter]

Haven't finished it yet, but I like the game so far.
Just one suggestion, one route should take some notes from iNsight of You and make her a freeuse slut for others on the behest of her master.

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

Haven't finished it yet, but I like the game so far.
Just one suggestion, one route should take some notes from iNsight of You and make her a freeuse slut for others on the behest of her master.

By her what girl are you referring to?

 

[Kateterpeter]

Oridelle.

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

Oridelle.

I have no full on plans for oridelle to be shared with another guy only the other girls. but'trisha on the other hand I'm open to I just see the main character wanting to have so much control over oridelle and having her be shared with another guy kinda takes that control away a bit I know you can say but your telling her to do it you also got to think that I'm doing a love or lust ark with oridelle and I want it to feel like your on the right track at all times thinking you might be doing a love routine but fucking up in some ways a getting lust so I want it to feel like your always still in love with her but your a fucked up Guy because of your past relationship with pinky but but'trisha yea I'll think about letting her be shared let that bitch fucking gag on other dudes cocks and fuck her ass idc

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

Oridelle.

Also another thing oridelle doesn't really know what a real relationship is supposed to be like she has never dated a guy before she almost feels like it's normal she might have a slight thought about it being wired but she desperate for love that she will keep on loving you know matter how much your a piece of shit to her

 

[xXGojiraXc]

Is there any redemption? Or choices for the mc to not be a dickhead and actually be romantic with her?

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

Not currently and not do I plan to have it this game is made to be relentless you do eventually understand why the MC is like this with past relationship with pinky but you still don't fully become a nice person untill it's either to late or you do just enough to keep the normal oridelle this game is not a romantic there are plenty of them out there this is a tragedy and a toxic relationship dynamic that happens after swearing you won't be like your ex but becoming much worse then them.

 

[Kulman]

I really love your game! Finally a game that focuses on cerebral domination (behavior, looks etc). Its way rarer than I would have liked.

Just wish the writing flowed a bit better. I think its a bit too wordy and you should look on thesaurus on synonyms of the word "control".

But looking forward to more!

 

[Oridelle Hearth]

I

I really love your game! Finally a game that focuses on cerebral domination (behavior, looks etc). Its way rarer than I would have liked.

Just wish the writing flowed a bit better. I think its a bit too wordy and you should look on thesaurus on synonyms of the word "control".

But looking forward to more!

I understand people’s frustration about the writing and am glad you get at least something you like about the game, and I do think it is an honest review. I do have trouble trying to convey things in a way that may feel more natural and not adding too much fluff, but I do want scenes to flow in a way that works.


I do wish I was a good writer. I know what I want to get across, but struggle to fully get what I’m thinking on my own. I do think of rewriting, but I don’t think I would even make it all that much better and may even lose what I and others feel is special.

I did stop using action narration and just have characters’ thoughts and lines to cut things down going forward. Like I said, I’m not a great writer. Growing up, it was my worst subject in school reading and writing and I was considered very illiterate. Computers help me a lot nowadays because I use TTS to read things to me. Does that mean I can’t read? No, of course not. I just read more slowly than others.

I love Ren’Py games with TTS. Some games will have their TTS broken by having their menu and/or other things read every new dialogue (which they can fix), but that’s just me ranting.

Like I said, maybe I should do a rewrite, but I see other games that do that and get nothing new done. So I am learning on that front to just keep moving forward and maybe do fixes when I get the chance. For the people that like the game already in the state that it’s in, I am grateful that I can make something they enjoy.

Someone did suggest on another review somewhere else to get a writer, but this is my project. I am a lone dev, and adding someone that I don’t even know or trust would make things way too complicated. I would love to make people happy and make the game work for everyone, but I know even if I change every piece of dialogue that I have in this game, it will “never” be “perfect,” and “controlling” what others do can be a bad thing sometimes.

All I know is I love my characters and the fucked up world that I’m making. It will “never” be “perfect,” and I’m slowly understanding that nothing is.

 

[Kulman]

I

I understand people’s frustration about the writing and am glad you get at least something you like about the game, and I do think it is an honest review. I do have trouble trying to convey things in a way that may feel more natural and not adding too much fluff, but I do want scenes to flow in a way that works.


I do wish I was a good writer. I know what I want to get across, but struggle to fully get what I’m thinking on my own. I do think of rewriting, but I don’t think I would even make it all that much better and may even lose what I and others feel is special.

I did stop using action narration and just have characters’ thoughts and lines to cut things down going forward. Like I said, I’m not a great writer. Growing up, it was my worst subject in school reading and writing and I was considered very illiterate. Computers help me a lot nowadays because I use TTS to read things to me. Does that mean I can’t read? No, of course not. I just read more slowly than others.

I love Ren’Py games with TTS. Some games will have their TTS broken by having their menu and/or other things read every new dialogue (which they can fix), but that’s just me ranting.

Like I said, maybe I should do a rewrite, but I see other games that do that and get nothing new done. So I am learning on that front to just keep moving forward and maybe do fixes when I get the chance. For the people that like the game already in the state that it’s in, I am grateful that I can make something they enjoy.

Someone did suggest on another review somewhere else to get a writer, but this is my project. I am a lone dev, and adding someone that I don’t even know or trust would make things way too complicated. I would love to make people happy and make the game work for everyone, but I know even if I change every piece of dialogue that I have in this game, it will “never” be “perfect,” and “controlling” what others do can be a bad thing sometimes.

All I know is I love my characters and the fucked up world that I’m making. It will “never” be “perfect,” and I’m slowly understanding that nothing is.

Dont worry about it, as with everything, it takes practice. And it wasnt too horrendous, or I wouldnt be here. Just think you have a gem here so I am more critical and stuff that doesnt hit as much ends up standing out. That doesnt mean its trash.

I think with porn games writing, less is more. You can convey a lot by a simple look or a suggestive line. Let the reader imagine what the characters thoughts are. Lot of the times I was taken out because you were a bit too descriptive with their thoughts about the situation, so the mystery and intrigue was gone. Does she like whats happening? Does she hate it? Does she have another motive?

Another rule is just trying not to repeat a specific word too much. It stands out a lot, especially since you highlight it for us in a different color lmao. I know what you were trying to do with that, but while it worked for some things, it ended up backfiring there a bit.

Unless you really want to, I wouldnt bother with a rewrite. Maybe polish a line here and there over time if you feel like it, but I would just keep writing new stuff and get better with time. Knowing you may have stuff to work on is pretty big, most people dont want to acknowledge that.

And again, dont beat yourself up, its not that bad. I am just very critical of things I like, since I kinda imagine all of its facets "perfect".

 

[oceanbobo4]

The writing is good. The extensive descriptions of Oridelle's feelings during sex are good. It makes the scene last as long as sex really lasts. And yes, repetitive thoughts happen during sex, so that's good too.


I was surprised that Buttrishka's thoughts during sex were basically the same as Oridelle's. This made Oridelle's thoughts seem less special.


Maybe Buttrishka's thoughts during sex should be different than Oridelle's?


But no rewrites please.


Maybe Buttrishka's thoughts will be different in the future, maybe not. Don't bother with rewrites.


Everything is overall excellent. Forward! On to the the next part!


I wasn't bothered by the misprint on Oridelle's coffin either.


There is no need to make it perfect. Perfect is your enemy.


You are making a highly original game with a compelling story and psychology. Onward! Looking forward to what is next.

 

[oceanbobo4]

Dont worry about it, as with everything, it takes practice. And it wasnt too horrendous, or I wouldnt be her
I think with porn games writing, less is more. You can convey a lot by a simple look or a suggestive line. Let the reader imagine what the characters thoughts are. Lot of the times I was taken out because you were a bit too descriptive with their thoughts about the situation, so the mystery and intrigue was gone. Does she like whats happening? Does she hate it? Does she have another motive?

Although in general I would agree, I disagree for this game. In this game, the psychology is important, and that can't be conveyed with less, can't be shown by an expression.

In this game, we don't want mystery as to how Oridelle is feeling. We want detailed descriptions of her thoughts, which is what we're getting.

This is psychological horror, and we should be inside her mind, in detail, just as we are.

I agree with you that there is no need for any rewrites.

 

[Gojii]

Not sure if you've incorporated the concept into the story, but the notion of "lovebombing" or the MC showering her or any of the characters with affection to make them want to do more for them, would be a good way to amplify the toxicity while also having a bit of a wholesome-ish vibe.

By having the MC actually mean it, even though they're becoming more and more objectified in the process with the feedback loop of the MC showering them with "words of affirmation" as a character becoming increasingly bimbofied/transformed/enhanced/etc it can still keep the tone to an extent while giving that manner of increasing the desire for further corruption, possibly after the initial "breaking" of them? Idk if dev is into that as a concept to add in, but I really get into the whole aspect of broken people just falling into a bit of a "love spiral" as a sort of coping/healing mechanism in the midst of the harshness.

It could even be a way for the MC to finalize their "fall" for them to where they'll eagerly go with their whims without any future "conditioning" required.