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I really love your game! Finally a game that focuses on cerebral domination (behavior, looks etc). Its way rarer than I would have liked.
Just wish the writing flowed a bit better. I think its a bit too wordy and you should look on thesaurus on synonyms of the word "control".
But looking forward to more!
I understand people’s frustration about the writing and am glad you get at least something you like about the game, and I do think it is an honest review. I do have trouble trying to convey things in a way that may feel more natural and not adding too much fluff, but I do want scenes to flow in a way that works.
I do wish I was a good writer. I know what I want to get across, but struggle to fully get what I’m thinking on my own. I do think of rewriting, but I don’t think I would even make it all that much better and may even lose what I and others feel is special.
I did stop using action narration and just have characters’ thoughts and lines to cut things down going forward. Like I said, I’m not a great writer. Growing up, it was my worst subject in school reading and writing and I was considered very illiterate. Computers help me a lot nowadays because I use TTS to read things to me. Does that mean I can’t read? No, of course not. I just read more slowly than others.
I love Ren’Py games with TTS. Some games will have their TTS broken by having their menu and/or other things read every new dialogue (which they can fix), but that’s just me ranting.
Like I said, maybe I should do a rewrite, but I see other games that do that and get nothing new done. So I am learning on that front to just keep moving forward and maybe do fixes when I get the chance. For the people that like the game already in the state that it’s in, I am grateful that I can make something they enjoy.
Someone did suggest on another review somewhere else to get a writer, but this is my project. I am a lone dev, and adding someone that I don’t even know or trust would make things way too complicated. I would love to make people happy and make the game work for everyone, but I know even if I change every piece of dialogue that I have in this game, it will “never” be “perfect,” and “controlling” what others do can be a bad thing sometimes.
All I know is I love my characters and the fucked up world that I’m making. It will “never” be “perfect,” and I’m slowly understanding that nothing is.
