VN Ren'Py Origin Story [v0.5.0] [JDOR]

[Jacquesdor]

Now to address some other things.

The masturbation scene: Guys, I hear you. I will make this skippable in a future update.

And the MC being "Pathetic" - more or less exactly what was said here:

I guess you could say that, yes.
But you should also consider, that he is living in a world where superpowers are given like free-beer to literally everyone who is not vaccinated or hasn't awakenend them yet by his age.
And being surrounded by people who have superior abilities can/must lead to being who he is for now.

The events of Chapter 2 should make it clear where I'm going with him.

 

[Old Grumpy Wolf]

Oh no, she's definitely an LI. You'll see.

That's good.

Oh that was completely intentional .

I figured. But don't do it again. Or we're gonna be havin some more words about it. Good game so far. Can't wait for the next update or more Evelyn.

 

[Penkovsky]

ngl this looks good, downloading now

 

[Sterkh90]

The motivation as to why the character is doing what they're doing is important, but if you skip it you'll get a different small scene that more or less has the same effect. So skipping it is not the end of the world. As I said in the notes the scene exists to give the MC the knowledge that Parker is into younger men, so he may be in with a shot - I just included an alternate version for all the people who might get upset about it.

Thanks for clarifying. I’m adding it to my bookmarks and will follow the development.

 

[KinkierThanThou]

This is a promising start.

This universe has an interesting premise with an X-Men/Mutant Registration Act vibe and an interesting mix of powers so far. The characters are for the most part pretty well-written. Some may have complaints about the MC, but having played through Chapter 1, it's understandable that he is what he is at this point of the story. Peter Parker was a virgin loser before he got powers as well after all.

The renders are pretty high quality and seeing a variety in pubic hair is refreshing. I personally prefer a bit of hair down there and I am pretty tired of seeing the same bald pussy copypasted on every model in 95% of AVNs.

Not the biggest fan of the MILF. I'm more of an ass fan anyway, so the big-boobed MILF stereotype doesn't do much for me, extra points deducted for having implants. Evelyn is fine as hell though. Very pretty with just the right amount of girl-next-door appeal. And color me crazy, but I really like how the character of Amber is written as well. I consider her an early favourite and I'm looking forward to more interactions with her.

I'll be following this game with great interest and if this quality holds up in the next 2 chapters I will consider supporting you Jacquesdor

 

[Old Grumpy Wolf]

This is a promising start.

This universe has an interesting premise with an X-Men/Mutant Registration Act vibe and an interesting mix of powers so far. The characters are for the most part pretty well-written. Some may have complaints about the MC, but having played through Chapter 1, it's understandable that he is what he is at this point of the story. Peter Parker was a virgin loser before he got powers as well after all.

The renders are pretty high quality and seeing a variety in pubic hair is refreshing. I personally prefer a bit of hair down there and I am pretty tired of seeing the same bald pussy copypasted on every model in 95% of AVNs.

Not the biggest fan of the MILF. I'm more of an ass fan anyway, so the big-boobed MILF stereotype doesn't do much for me, extra points deducted for having implants. Evelyn is fine as hell though. Very pretty with just the right amount of girl-next-door appeal. And color me crazy, but I really like how the character of Amber is written as well. I consider her an early favourite and I'm looking forward to more interactions with her.

I'll be following this game with great interest and if this quality holds up in the next 2 chapters I will consider supporting you Jacquesdor

I just hope we get an awesome power and not some lame mind control or invis power so we can peep on the girls. Right now, game is awesome though.

 

[lorkdubo]

I just hope we get an awesome power and not some lame mind control or invis power so we can peep on the girls. Right now, game is awesome though.

This, please!!! Great powers are hot as fuck and will get you booty. Don't let it be something sexual related or even worse mind control related.
Just check countless manwhas that are popping from korea. Toaru Majutsu no Index has a great take on powers. Worm is great too, and of course there it also Brandon Sanderson's books.
Still, we are in a kinda of X-Men power system so powers are random and their power scale is random too.

 

[Ragnar]

i don't get why the game creators love to make the MC so pathetic and desperate.
and it is like he wants everybody to know just how much he sucks.

why do they not make more their protagonist be more decent, normal and likeable.
is the pathetic and desperate virgins just more relatable to the creators or are they just not realizing how thee MC comes across.

the behavior of the MC ruins the game(and other games like it) for me, and probably many others.

That's like creative writing 101. If your MC starts being already a bad ass there is no room for improvement or character growth. I'm not saying you can't write a compelling story with the bad ass, but the hero journey works better with a small poptatoes growing into the hero with time and effort.

 

[KinkierThanThou]

I just hope we get an awesome power and not some lame mind control or invis power so we can peep on the girls. Right now, game is awesome though.

I'm just hoping for something a little more original than pheromone control or lust inducement. Pretty sure we've seen that premise in enough AVNs already. Also tired of the "Magic Cock that make all the ladiez feel teh sexies after catching one glimpse of it (walking in on MC in the shower optional)" trope.

 

[Old Grumpy Wolf]

That's like creative writing 101. If your MC starts being already a bad ass there is no room for improvement or character growth. I'm not saying you can't write a compelling story with the bad ass, but the hero journey works better with a small poptatoes growing into the hero with time and effort.

But if we start as a badass it's better in my opinion. Mainly because I'm old and want to still be alive to see the end of a game. Not take 4 years to grow into a badass. I may not be around for that.

I'm just hoping for something a little more original than pheromone control or lust inducement. Pretty sure we've seen that premise in enough AVNs already. Also tired of the "Magic Cock that make all the ladiez feel teh sexies after catching one glimpse of it (walking in on MC in the shower optional)" trope.

Well, I'm old, give me the magic cock syndrome.

 

[Ragnar]

But if we start as a badass it's better in my opinion. Mainly because I'm old and want to still be alive to see the end of a game. Not take 4 years to grow into a badass. I may not be around for that.



Well, I'm old, give me the magic cock syndrome.

I get it, I prefer old or more experienced MCs too. I have played already countless games as some little brat chosen one

 

[HornyyPussy]

Both works for me as long as the character is at least fairly well written.

My preference is a fully fledged bad ass Mc (i.e Reluctant Archon, Terminus Reach 1&2, CoBD) but an underdog can fun as well.

 

[bentalos]

Just when it gets good it ends. Bahhh humbug

 

[motseer]

Because of what they agreed to. "Nothing will change." If she's still only a friend after, what's the fuckin point?

Nah, that won't stick. It's just adolescent shit talk. Evelyn is totally in love with MC. I think his not-sister sister says something to that effect. Also, MC's thoughts reveal his latent attraction to her. Besides, they need to start out as fuck buddies so that MC can nail all the other LI's without "cheating" on her.

 

[Old Grumpy Wolf]

Both works for me as long as the character is at least fairly well written.

My preference is a fully fledged bad ass Mc (i.e Reluctant Archon, Terminus Reach 1&2, CoBD) but an underdog can fun as well.

Well, right now the MC is a bit of a "Which way did he go, George?" type.

 

[motseer]

Well, right now the MC is a bit of a "Which way did he go, George?" type.

So... Jaquesdor...While we are nitpickin' the MC's badassedness... I would like to put in my two cents for demanding that you grow him about 4 inches and get his young butt into the gym! As it stands now, the lovely and petite Evelyn is taller than him and his arms are pipe cleaners. Damn! These hot-as-fuck heroines have got their work cut out for them in taking our poor, insecure, no power havin', stunted growth MC under their wings! Jus' Sayin'

 

[Old Grumpy Wolf]

So... Jaquesdor...While we are nitpickin' the MC's badassedness... I would like to put in my two cents for demanding that you grow him about 4 inches and get his young butt into the gym! As it stands now, the lovely and petite Evelyn is taller than him and his arms are pipe cleaners. Damn! These hot-as-fuck heroines have got their work cut out for them in taking our poor, insecure, no power havin', stunted growth MC under their wings! Jus' Sayin'

Yeah. Right now he couldn't even be a sidekick to a pimple on Robin's ass. But am still enjoying the game.

 

[motseer]

Yeah. Right now he couldn't even be a sidekick to a pimple on Robin's ass. But am still enjoying the game.

Well, I guess. Yeah, he's like the third sidekick that gets killed as soon as he enters the room... here's hopin' for a kickass power!

 

[Old Grumpy Wolf]

Well, I guess. Yeah, he's like the third sidekick that gets killed as soon as he enters the room... here's hopin' for a kickass power!
View attachment 3136232

Hell, even Kickass has a badass power.

 

[KinkierThanThou]

Not all superheroes look like Chris Hemsworth, ya know? Steve Rogers could have fit into agent Carter twice (hehe) pre-super-serum. Little runt could still do your mom this all day, so...