VN Ren'Py Origin Story [v0.8.2] [JDOR]

[Elduriel]

i actually didn't know that was thing for Lucia's story line.
devs using some idea's from fans isn't a rare thing,its rarely 1 to 1 though ,usually its a small part which inspired a idea in a dev.

things seem to working out just fine so far.

I tend to agree, Lucia and the Anna/Arwen storylines are both awesome

 

[broho1234]

Started playing this game and the beginning is very good.

One weird thing is that it uses "superhero" instead of "superheroine", for example in the picture below



Here it refers to the girl on the right (Moonsong/Georgia) as "superhero".

There are several instances like this, maybe the author is not a native English speaker.

 

[Rehwyn]

Started playing this game and the beginning is very good.

One weird thing is that it uses "superhero" instead of "superheroine", for example in the picture below

View attachment 5506388

Here it refers to the girl on the right (Moonsong/Georgia) as "superhero".

There are several instances like this, maybe the author is not a native English speaker.

The author is British and a native English speaker. The word "superhero" has generally become gender-neutral in both modern British and American English.

Edit: He could use "superheroine" there, but honestly as a native American English speaker it would feel a little awkward unless he had a particular reason to emphasize her gender. I certainly would be more likely to just use "superhero" in almost every case.

 

[FRVN]

Started playing this game and the beginning is very good.

One weird thing is that it uses "superhero" instead of "superheroine", for example in the picture below

View attachment 5506388

Here it refers to the girl on the right (Moonsong/Georgia) as "superhero".

There are several instances like this, maybe the author is not a native English speaker.

Much like with the term Actor, Superhero has become the gender-neutral term.

 

[JJ1960]

Started playing this game and the beginning is very good.

One weird thing is that it uses "superhero" instead of "superheroine", for example in the picture below

View attachment 5506388

Here it refers to the girl on the right (Moonsong/Georgia) as "superhero".

There are several instances like this, maybe the author is not a native English speaker.

Boy, do you have a surprise coming...

 

[Monetka_]

Villains Fooling Around Series
And here's something a little different for your penultimate gift of the 2nd anniversary celebration. A whole series of renders telling the story of short scene between Inferno and Scarlet Shadow, in which Inferno gets a little bored during a stakeout. I was half tempted to do these with comic-style speech bubbles and dialogue, but it's fun to imagine the story for yourself.

 

[Monetka_]

Spoiler: Full set

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[Jaga Telesin]

Started playing this game and the beginning is very good.

One weird thing is that it uses "superhero" instead of "superheroine", for example in the picture below

View attachment 5506388

Here it refers to the girl on the right (Moonsong/Georgia) as "superhero".

There are several instances like this, maybe the author is not a native English speaker.

Probably not a native english speaker, no. Thrust would have been "thrusts" (to keep it present tense), and not a memory. Simple things like that are easy to pick up on, and equally easy for proofreaders to miss.

 

[Rehwyn]

Probably not a native english speaker, no. Thrust would have been "thrusts" (to keep it present tense), and not a memory. Simple things like that are easy to pick up on, and equally easy for proofreaders to miss.

Nah, JDOR is a native English speaker, as I mentioned.

The author is British and a native English speaker.

Also, the rest of the lines right around that are past tense, so "thrust" is consistent with them. And as far as I've seen, all the other narration is past tense as well.

Spoiler

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Past tense is also overwhelmingly and traditionally how novels are written in English, except in some specific genres in recent years where present tense has become more common (primarily Young Adult, romance, and thriller novels).

 

[masterdc1976]

Nah, JDOR is a native English speaker, as I mentioned.

Also, the rest of the lines right around that are past tense, so "thrust" is consistent with them. And as far as I've seen, all the other narration is past tense as well.

Spoiler

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Past tense is also overwhelmingly and traditionally how novels are written in English, except in some specific genres in recent years where present tense has become more common (primarily Young Adult, romance, and thriller novels).

maybe its British not English

 

[Jaga Telesin]

Nah, JDOR is a native English speaker, as I mentioned.

Also, the rest of the lines right around that are past tense, so "thrust" is consistent with them. And as far as I've seen, all the other narration is past tense as well.

You'd never use past tense to describe a scene currently going on in the game. So not sure what's happening with that. I usually chalk it up to "Engrish" or someone's less-than-masterful grasp of the language for whatever reason.

I don't recall the scene (it's been ~6+ months since I played), so can't comment further. If it wasn't a memory or recollection of something prior though, then the tense was off. /shrug

 

[Rehwyn]

You'd never use past tense to describe a scene currently going on in the game. So not sure what's happening with that. I usually chalk it up to "Engrish" or someone's less-than-masterful grasp of the language for whatever reason.

I don't recall the scene (it's been ~6+ months since I played), so can't comment further. If it wasn't a memory or recollection of something prior though, then the tense was off. /shrug

Why not? As I said, the vast majority of novels are written in past tense (over 90% according to some sources), and it is a visual novel after all. Though I will concede that present tense is probably used more often in visual novels compared to purely text novels since VNs lean closer to screenwriting in practice, and many AVN writers want to make readers feel more directly involved.

But as I mentioned, from a quick skim, every other line of narration in Origin Story is in past tense as well. As such, using "thrust" here is consistent with the established tense throughout the AVN.

Spoiler: A few examples

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In any case, there's nothing incorrect or inconsistent with writing the narration here in past tense. Choosing present or past tense to tell a story is really just a writing style choice related to how much of a sense of immediacy and immersion the author wants to create for a reader.

 

[Monetka_]

Chapter 9 Preview

And to finish off 2nd anniversary week, here's a few sneak peeks of things to come in Chapter 9.

You know the drill, I don't want to give too much away, so it's slim pickings for non-spoilery previews. Regardless, I hope you like this taste.

And that's it for the celebrations, usual scheduled weekly renders and occasional customs will resume from tomorrow.

Peace.

Spoiler: Preview

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[Rehwyn]

Chapter 9 Preview

And to finish off 2nd anniversary week, here's a few sneak peeks of things to come in Chapter 9.

You know the drill, I don't want to give too much away, so it's slim pickings for non-spoilery previews. Regardless, I hope you like this taste.

And that's it for the celebrations, usual scheduled weekly renders and occasional customs will resume from tomorrow.

Peace.

Spoiler: Preview

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Said it in Discord and I'll say it again here:

Ev image in the preview just now has big "Have you considered trying a threesome?" energy.

Also, the Ruth and MC is just too lewd. First handholding and now finger touching?!