Abandoned Paying Guest [v0.5] [A S Production]

3.00 star(s) 8 Votes

Thickgravy49

Active Member
Jul 24, 2017
859
2,122
I'm a big fan of female protag games, but this one is pretty average at the moment, imo.

All that 'unlocked bathroom door' and 'shall I peek?' stuff's been done to death and just sends me to sleep, quite frankly.

The aunt is Indian, as are the sons, so why not have an Indian female mc? At least that would have been somewhat original.

If I were you, Mr Game Dev, I'd stop touting for pledges quite so much.
You've got the start-screen(which you can't skip and seems to stay on forever) and another patreon ad at the end.
Then there's that in-game piece by the mc. I just found that ever so slightly irritating.
It didn't encourage me to support you at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
If people like your game and want to support you, they will. If they don't, they won't. It's pretty-much that simple, imo.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Purple Lagoon

Nutluck

Engaged Member
Game Developer
Nov 2, 2017
3,705
2,324
Just tried it for the first time, all and all decent game. The one thing I would like to see is more choices, that impact the story. I will give a example.

In the club when you drink shots. Right now it defaults to you try but don't drink them all. It would be nice if you had a choice of.
1) Only drink one or two - same as what is in the game. but with different text slightly.
2) try to drink them all - same as the game is now
3) drink them all - which gets the MC a bit drunk and when Sofia ask you to kiss her, have the same two options now or one for a longer more passionate kiss.

Things like that is what I would like to see added to the game.
 
Jan 28, 2019
277
1,565
Because this has so few reviews, I wanted to try it to eventually add another opinion (hopefully a positive one).
I JUST GOT to the aunt's house, and I'm making a post about things as I encounter them, so they're fresh in my mind.

My hope is to give the creator good feedback, and encouragement. I don't play many fem-protag games, because most are rape/corruption/become a super slut/NTR games, which isn't my style.
Character development, relationships with some realism, and non-corruption love paths (hopefully including at least one lesbian option) appeal to me a great deal, though, and combined with a promise to a more even pace and no unrealistic sex, has me honestly quite excited for the game.

Pros:
MC is beautiful, realistic looking, and unique enough that she doesn't look like a girl pulled from another game.

Cons:
Some interactions. Example, very beginning, showing up at aunt's place. You say hi, she says hi and invites you in, tells you your luggage is there. No emotion.
Small things, like saying hi to aunt, aunt breaks into smile, says hi, hugs you, says she's happy to see you, then invites you in and tells you luggage is there...
that feels more human, and less shallow.
How's your mom?
she's fine.
How was your journey?
It was fine.
Lines like this need a small amount of expanding to make the dialog feel more like it comes from people.
"how's your mom?"
"She's doing well, and sends her love."
"How was your journey?"
"A little scary, leaving home, but exciting too! I'm a little more tired than I expected to be, though."
Now, maybe there could be a reason to have their interaction be so succinct, that I just haven't touched on yet, in game. But I really think minor expansions of dialog help things feel like they matter more (excitement about moving in, happy to see each other), instead of polite but flat. And such expansions of dialog can happen without making everything too wordy.

secondly, and much more minor, is some textual errors. The aunt says bella, not Bella.
Lines like "I have already kept it in your room."
Now, you did say English isn't your first language. And I don't even have any second language skills, so I don't mean to be overly critical. I just hope that, at some point in development, when you have things more or less established as you desire, you have someone who may vonunteer to help you clear up some lines like that to make them feel more natural (or, alternatively, keep some characters speaking like that, but make it, in game, known that english isn't THEIR first language either, so the odd phrasing actually feels more natural).

I haven't even made it to my new bedroom yet, so I'm going to play the game from here, and after I get home from work tonight, might post one more time on some follow up thoughts, once I've played through what is here.
 

Mariano95

Member
Jan 17, 2019
375
1,420
Nice game, a lot of potential. Even if this is just the 0.3 version it already has animations and the MC is stunning.
To be honest I began to being interested when I saw Alfred the old man XD, honestly my fetish, it reminds me Anna EA, anyway I'll continue to play the future versions. Good job dev!
 

McLovin

New Member
May 14, 2017
13
36
Firstly that's a really good review and I thank you for that. I like how you gave your honest opinion without demotivating me because there are some people who just come here and write shit about the game which honestly feels bad , it just sucks when you work for the whole month at late nights and then have to listen to these people.
Anyways coming to the point I totally agree that my language is weak and unfortunately I don't have anyone to help me with it. And about the aunt's emotions when she saw Bella: the thing is Bella and savita(aunt) are not related at all. Savita is Bella's mom's old friend. Bella and savita have never even met each other before this was the first time they met each other in person. And even Bella's mom and savita are not like besties they are just friends. So that's why Bella and savita didn't really have a moment when they met
And yes there definitely is going to be lesbian path but since Bella is straight now it will take time for her understand those feelings just like real girls ( and yes it can be avoided too) . Basically from next update the game actually begins since it will have Bella making choices which will affect in future, the first 3 updates were just to settle Bella and introduce her to new people and situations. From now Bella will have to choose her path.
Sounds good, like it very much!
Go on, i love this corruption and blackmail action.
 

Storm1985

Member
Nov 8, 2019
310
592


Locked


Paying Guest 0.4

 

Saint Blackmoor

Saint and Sinner
Donor
Oct 26, 2017
5,601
16,793
This may have been said already but corruption is not defined in the coding so you get an error when you want to corrupt the MC.;)
The game is good, (y)
 

marspig

Member
Oct 16, 2018
185
665
Beauty. Unfortunately, I am not interested... because this kind of heroine perspective is that you have to choose many men to fuck you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ProtDan

Saint Blackmoor

Saint and Sinner
Donor
Oct 26, 2017
5,601
16,793
This has good potential, renders are good to OK, the story is good. I am sure these will improve.
One thing that could be improved is during dialogue try not to switch between each character every time they say something, the consent screen change can get annoying.
Good luck.
 
3.00 star(s) 8 Votes