Yeah i get you i think a lot of NTR enjoyers are reluctant to discuss where their satisfaction derives from when playing ntr games even on an anonymous forum site in fear of being labeled the infamous "C" word lol. I think a lot of that comes down to the ability to separate fiction from reality. Just because one enjoys a taboo element found in a porn game does not mean they yearn for or that they promote such things in real life, where you have to deal and take into account, not only your own, but other's REAL emotions and feelings. Also i would like to add that those who criticize others for having a certain "fetish/kink" are a very small minority in my experience. But apart from the whole fetish shaming aspect i think nowadays the animosity shared between NTR and non-ntr enjoyers just comes down to a simple issue of how the developer allocates their time when creating the game. You see half saying he should spend more time making canon-vanilla harem content and another half asking for more what-ifs/ntr content and then you got us over here who want it all
Really, isn't NTS more of the pleasure of watching? NTR I think is the opposite where you enjoy seeing someone get screwed over. It rarely seems to include the 'infamous "C" word' as the person getting NTR'd is not into it. I really do not think it's uncommon. It's the theme to 99% of rap music (taking someone's girl and ruining them for 'normal' men

). It's definitely not a closet fetish.
I think a lot of the contrast for vanilla enjoyers might come in that NTR often includes non-consensual elements that are far more uncomfortable to most and seem to devalue or demean the girls involved. I really can't imagine how someone enjoys identifying with someone being NTR'd. NTR is, by definition, 'unwanted'. That's just self-loathing which goes beyond a sex kink I would think.
NTR content is just liking watching it happen to someone else which really isn't any different than a lot of power trip entertainment like combat sports and violent games where you play the bad guy. I thought that was even the word play with "Power Vacuum". Also meaning someone wanting to suck up all the power, which is a very common fantasy.