- Mar 10, 2018
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If that's all you got from the update, you missed a lot of content... That was one of the longest updates I've ever made, and it has a lot of lore/plot content.
Has anybody encountered problems with movies not playing? I'm replaying the game for chapter 23 and noticed that in the barn scene in chapter 7 only the still frames are displayed for each movie
True, but there is also a lot of conversation and internal monologue. Anecdotally, I lost interest in chapter 22 more than once. NGL, when the screen for chapter 23 came up and I saw "The Heist" I said "Finally!", out loud.
All that narration of the protag's thoughts about children seems like it could have been worked into conversation. Actually, now that I think of it, none of the narration seems necessary.
Just for an exercise in contrast imagine telling that story with no words, at all:
Image: Protag packing.
Image: Sunset
Image: Protag in thought by the fire, looking at wife.
Image: Zoom in on wife's belly.
Image: Sunrise
Image: Everyone's wearing packs, waving goodbye to Zaya and Lune.
Academically, there's a lot of telling-not-showing going on in chapter 22. And if you think it's necessary to tell the player what they're thinking and feeling I think you'd do well to take a step back and ask yourself what's missing in the visuals or the dialogue or the plot to ensure that the player is where you want them to be on the emotional journey.
The dialogue is just small-talk: it doesn't significantly advance the story or reveal anything about the characters. Snip snip!
As for chapter 23, I was deflated. The outpost didn't seem like a plausible threat to Superman. The guards' eager acceptance of the extremely obvious diversion just made them seem incompetent, further undermining the danger. No tension, no danger, one choice that has no consequence. Meh.
And I know porn isn't the focus of this game, but the one scene in these two chapters was super tame. HBO has more graphic sex scenes. And the point was to show the MC getting "rough"? But, it's like, one perspective on slow, vanilla missionary? And her facial expression never changes from a fixed smile? The visuals weren't erotic and weren't consistent with the story, either.
I don't meant to tear down anything, so sorry if anything I wrote is harsh. But I hope you might get some hint of why chapters 22 and 23 felt like filler, to me. And if so, maybe you'll be able to consider future chapters from another perspective as you're writing and illustrating them. Get friendly with the delete key!
Anyway, I'm still excited to see how the plot develops!
- Mar 6, 2019
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- Jun 14, 2020
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Thank you for the actually useful feedback! Much more insightful and actionable than "needs incest" or "not enough lewds". I agree that I tend to explain/tell more than I show, since my background is in data and compliance. That sort of technical writing is very much a tell > show style. Now that I'm no longer doing that type of writing IRL, I'm going to work more on my creative writing and visual storytelling skills. Hopefully you'll be able to see an improvement in the next few chapters, but if not, please feel free to let me know if you have more suggestions or critiques! When they're actually useful and constructive (as opposed to coomer rage), I'm happy to listen.
I will admit the first time I played the update I skipped most of the talking. I just now played the steam version, and this time did not skip the dialog. So in short Boat ride. MC, Maria and Emilia talk about the throuple relationship. Then everyone talks a lot about the upcoming heist, they do the heist. The rest of update is basically another Power Point presentation about the past.
so lots of talking about lore, not sure about plot stuff.
But hey if you say this is one of your biggest updates, then ok. Don't get me wrong I like your game (I did buy the Steam version to support you) But for me personally I did not feel the update was all that. I am more interested in the relationship with Maria and Emilia.... and if there is room for Lune and Zaya. Will Maria let the MC have them as well??
But anyway I do wish you the best. You keep making the game how you want (not that you need my permission)
peace
Why such a high rating? Continuous dialogues, everything is very stretched in time. Intimate scenes, on the other hand, are very weak, poorly thought out, and very short. Such a fairy tale for very, very young teenagers...
- Aug 4, 2022
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It's almost like people like a good story or something...
- Jun 14, 2020
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Not everyone is here just for the lewds. Many players enjoys good stories with world building and well developed characters. There's a difference between those who're only here for the porn and AVN enjoyers. The "A" in AVN stands for Adult. That means more than just explicit sex scenes.
- Apr 12, 2020
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Just finished playing all the updates I had pilled up, it took A WHILE! Love how the story is progressing, I did not expect the situation with Emilia to advance that fast but I LOVE the different dynamic she brings to the table (girl is HORNY for us).
Excelent game, excelent vibes, I don't know if the dev is going to limit the harem to just the throuple, but I'd love a blonde girl to complete the brunette/redhead/blond trifecta (I guess it's too late in the story, considering how much development there was with Maria and Emilia, but a man can always dream).
Excelent game, excelent vibes, I don't know if the dev is going to limit the harem to just the throuple, but I'd love a blonde girl to complete the brunette/redhead/blond trifecta (I guess it's too late in the story, considering how much development there was with Maria and Emilia, but a man can always dream).
- Mar 11, 2021
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You're writing this as it was something bad.
- Jul 25, 2017
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even if after the first 12-15 or so chapters I started to lose a little interest for a bit but started to pick up again this game is still very good and above average id say in terms of story.
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I have to ask is it NTR if you are spreading the cure to the prophets wife or just modern medicine at it's finest?
Cant wait for legacy to say now you have the option to not make babies when passing the cure, but a real man would make Genghis Khan look like a pleb only having half a % of the world related to him. You could cure the whole world and repopulate it in your own image. Anyone not taking the cure can suck Darwin.
Cant wait for legacy to say now you have the option to not make babies when passing the cure, but a real man would make Genghis Khan look like a pleb only having half a % of the world related to him. You could cure the whole world and repopulate it in your own image. Anyone not taking the cure can suck Darwin.
- Mar 10, 2018
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The Prophet is long dead, so that's not happening. Not sure what you mean by the rest, but okay.
The Prophet is long dead, so that's not happening. Not sure what you mean by the rest, but okay.
I doubt what you have in mind for the story is woman in the world bangs the MC or doesn't get the cure, It's just where the story is at now makes it funny to think about. As it stands 100% of the people who have gotten the cure have gotten pregnant and have all gotten cured the "old fashion way".
Most of it was just saying it's a weird situation to be in You literally hold the fate of all humanity in in your pants. Dynasties that don't join with you for the night wouldn't pass the current generation.
In rulers past sex was often tied with rule you would dilute the bloodline like the Khan did, or with the practice of Prima Nocta. This though isn't like that no barbaric rule rendering that under Caesar which is Caesar's, it's ensuring that a dwindling population can survive. The world is your harem to save humanity from the Prophet's choice to infect it. (thought the current religious leader was called the prophet, like some cults have it, but my mistake).
The khan bit was about how 1% of the total world population is related because of how he ruled. If the MC has to sleep with everyone once, and people in general have between 1 and 4 children, he's going to be directly related to about 33% the first generation give or take and about 75-80% of the next. It's an even weird situation if you think it that way.
There's also some negatives with that route you couldn't have a polyamorous relationship as you can only really be with a woman once. It would limit the ability to cure people if you did and the MC's kinda on that path. If you don't sleep with enough people also there's the problems of an endangered species where the genetic pool is to small to be sustainable. Do you do the ugly chick or do you not take the risk of impotence and being unable to save enough of humanity it can save it's self. If you don't do her and she's tied to a dynasty that will rebel and kill enough people you can't save the population would that change your choice?
Anyways just strange to think about how that would play out in an actual senecio where the world was depended on one mans baby batter to procreate a plentiful future. While it would make for a hilarious Powerpoint from legacy if he nails some of the details of the "ins and outs" of the problems with delivering a cure at scale that way.. like I started with I don't think it's really the direction you are taking, but it's funny to muse. I get legacy has hinted at making it contagious so it self propagates. It's just boring to think of the cure like covid or the pox.
- Mar 13, 2021
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Delusional and insane ranting + off topic + flaming + pseudohistorical arbitrary theories = IGNORE LIST ON THE SPOT
Bye bye.
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He has posted 6 messages in 3 years, guys. Don't feed the trolls.