VN Ren'Py Profiler [v0.3] [DiveBar]

[JazzPourer]

A very interesting start. I'm a fan of Detective stories but I haven't really found any detective avns that I actually like. I especially like Sherlock Holmes and it seems this game is going for a modern Sherlock with some of the old school elements (clothes and dialogue). This was a bit jaring for me at first as I was wondering why the MC is dressed like he wants to beg me for more porridge.

The renders are pretty good and the story so far has certainly captured my interest. I haven't gotten enough time with the Lis to have an opinion on them yet. My concerns so far are:


It feels (to me) as though the Dev hasn't decided the MC's personality yet. Is he angry and traumatized by his parents murder, is he detached from people because he doesn't know how to socialize and incredibly arrogant or is he a sociopath?

At the start he's told that one of his teammates is dead and he doesn't care in the slightest. Refers to her as "dead weight". That's a bit extreme and makes he seem like he doesn't value human life.

In the scene with the girl on the train he seems politely detached but concerned about her being harassed by the guy. He seems like he wouldn't have any friends but the game quickly introduces multiple past and current friends and he seems to reconnect with them fairly easily.


Sex/lewd scenes are very important to me in an avn so I hope we wont have to wait too long for that.
I know the next update is about to drop. Looking forward to it.

Good luck to the Dev.

Thanks for the feedback and support! The MC's personality will unfold more as the story goes on, so hang tight. I know lewd scenes are important, and they're definitely coming. Hope you enjoy the next update!

 

[JazzPourer]

Some people have already mentioned this, but just so the dev is aware it effects multiple people: I didnt make it past the first little flashback bit due to all the clicking and delays.

I thought I would just remove all the pausing/fading/movement myself but, by the way its coded, it appears to be too much work right now. I read quite quickly and require the full text displayed in a single click, otherwise its far too slow and I get bored waiting for a game to keep up with my reading speed.

Thanks for bringing this up! I totally get how the pacing can be frustrating if you’re a fast reader. I’ll definitely look into making those pauses and effects more adjustable in future updates. Appreciate your feedback!

 

[JazzPourer]

I have poor eyesight and dyslexia. I have difficulty reading the standard text. Some of the text affects make the games unplayable. I've not played yours, but font, size, and color changes are bad. But if you're planning it, adding text to cut scenes that automatically advance is impossible to read for me. I know I'm not the only one, but not sure how many readers have this problem. So, this is just letting you know while you're asking and think about your design.

Regardless, I wish you luck with you're game.

Edited for missed typo

Thanks for letting me know about this! I’ll definitely keep accessibility in mind for future updates, and I appreciate the heads-up. Wishing you the best, and I hope the game works out for you.

 

[JazzPourer]

Yeah, it's everywhere and with different values so it takes quite a bit of effort to get rid of it all. It serves no purpose at all in the end. Unless you count slowing everything to a crawl. It's going to be just as bad as another game I had to edit recently. That one had over 1000 {w} in the dialogue, 1000+ extra clicks just to try and read the thing. This one could end up being worse though with the constant change of cps. They are trying to hard to make it flashy and the only thing it does is take the player out of the story.

Thanks for the honest feedback! I get that too many effects can be annoying and really slow things down. I'll try to make them less. Appreciate you pointing this out!

 

[JazzPourer]

JazzPourer Hello. Love the concept of the game and love the lis too... and there is also harem. Just please tell me there'll be pregnancy for the girls in the future(or in the epilogue/ending). I am asking cuz it's a romance involved harem game so MC starting a family with all the girls he loves in the later will come out beautifully.

Thanks for ur love and support XD
The idea of a family in the epilogue is definitely something I’m considering.
I can't give away too much right now, but stay tuned pal

 

[JazzPourer]

Peculiar writing in this one, but eye-catching. The MC is unfortunately pretty irritating and oddly enough the reason for this seems to be completely understood by the person making the game. His faults are manifested as their own annoying character that everyone hates at the beginning of the game. The MC even one-ups this annoying character in his own mind before reminding himself how annoying that is, but it's not written in a self-aware way. It's more like, "if you are a smug douchebag know-it-all, you need to be as good as me to pull it off."

This could end up working if the main character goes through some growth but that doesn't seem to be the point at all. His (and the writer's) understanding of himself seems to be genuinely held and regarded as good.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I get you're reallly sick with the MC's attitude, and I also realllly appreciate you sticking with it.
There’s definitely more to his character, and growth is a key part of his journey.
I hope you’ll give it some time to see where it goes!

 

[JazzPourer]

Good all mcs do not need need to be goody two shoes. I like this kind of mc and hope he goes more of his smugness

Glad you like my unique MC!
Not all main characters need to be perfect or good, i was a bit tired from this.
, and I’m excited to keep developing MC's character. THX for your reply!

 

[JazzPourer]

View attachment 3966698
YOLO,

You only live once!
Thx for playin my game, and I hope you enjoy
(fk my renders in 0.1 shamed me)

p.s Am i too old cuz im usin Yolo?....

 

[JazzPourer]

Hey dev your game looks good, please tell me how's MC about his personality and ability both.
Shitass, badass, coolass, wimpy-ass, weak-ass?

wow!!!!
Thank you so much for bringing this up, almost feel like Im smurfin to aswer this question

I REALLY wanted to let everyone in the comments know this point.
The MC genuinely wants to be kind to those around him, but it’s hard for him due to the burdens he carries.
He doesn’t want to drag others down with him.
His lack of social skills has led to some of the "antisocial personality" traits pointed out by harsher critiques.
If you take a deeper look, it’s not entirely unreasonable for his personality to be this way. I’m not here to debate with anyone; I’m just sharing my thoughts. I understand that not everyone will agree, as everyone’s life experiences and values are unique. But as the story and past events unfold, please trust in the MC’s growth.
Even I found his initial behavior unlikable, but I’ve got a long list of outlines and character developments in my notebook.

Honestly, I’m more excited than the players to see the sparks that will fly between the characters.


(P.S. But I do think the MC is really handsome.)
(P.P.S no homo here)
(P.P.S And his abilities... welp, no spoilers here. )

 

[JazzPourer]

Unknown1653

Hey Men! not sure how to reply the rate,so I ping u here.
Hope u can see it.

Here it goes.
Thank you very much for your detailed feedback. I truly value your opinion. First, I appreciate your praise for Abyss Girl, and I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to showcase the charm of the other characters as well, which may have disappointed you. That’s my oversight, and I’ll work harder to improve their portrayal. I hope you’ll see their growth and appeal in future versions.

As for the Sherlock Holmes elements, I’m glad you’re interested in them! I’m a big fan as well. However, this isn’t a fan work; I’ve simply borrowed some elements to create my own story. I hope you can find new enjoyment in it.

Regarding the confusion about the story’s direction, it might be because we’re still in the early stages, and many things haven’t been resolved yet. Nevertheless, I really appreciate you pointing this out, and I’ll work on making the story’s direction clearer. I hope to provide a better experience in future updates.

As for the issue of excessive dialogue, while it may seem that way now, those dialogues actually hide a lot of character relationships and world-building. However, I completely understand if you’re not a fan of these parts. In any case, thank you for your input, and I’ll consider how to better balance the narrative.

Regarding the sound effects, you seem to have a lot of experience in this area, perhaps even as a professional coder. I’m still learning and can only work on these issues in my spare time after work, so there are bound to be some oversights. If possible, could you help point out which parts of the sound effects have issues? If you don’t have the time to assist, I completely understand, as you’re not obligated to help a stranger. However, this is the only feedback I’ve received about sound issues, so perhaps it’s due to the speed at which you click through the game? Either way, I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention, and I’ll work to improve it.

Finally, regarding the use of depth of field, haha, that’s definitely a personal preference of mine, and I may have gone a bit overboard. I can only accept your criticism, and I really appreciate you pointing it out!

Once again, I sincerely thank you for your detailed review. I’ll continue working hard to improve this game and hope that future versions will better meet your expectations.

(P.S. I thought you’d roast my terrible English translation first, but you didn’t. Well... I’m surprised.)

 

[JazzPourer]

Yo, you're from china right?

If you're a Chinese writer then I won't expect MC to be a pussy, I read and watch lots of Chinese animes and LN, so I'm expecting MC to be cold blooded and badass, I hope you won't disappoint me.

I am from Taiwan!
but anyway hope u enjoy!

 

[AnonW123]

Thanks for the feedback and support! The MC's personality will unfold more as the story goes on, so hang tight. I know lewd scenes are important, and they're definitely coming. Hope you enjoy the next update!

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[JazzPourer]

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I always enjoy giving my all to reach my goals.
Although version 0.2 looks good, there are still many playes here seems are not satisfied and unpleased.
But don't worry, I’ll keep pushing forward.

(P.S. As the comment suggests... would you really not consider giving me a rating? )

 

[AnonW123]

Why don't you write this as a review it will be really helpful!

You trying to give me extra work huh?

Actually I think I will. The game could use more positive attention.

 

[AnonW123]

After review all he need to do is subscribe you on patreon.

Are you his marketing officer? lol How about you lead by example?

 

[JazzPourer]

You trying to give me extra work huh?

Actually I think I will. The game could use more positive attention.

Thx for that anyway

 

[JazzPourer]

Are you his marketing officer? lol How about you lead by example?

Hey, I really appreciate any kind of support from players, whether it's through ratings, promotion, subscribing, or giving feedback. I'm grateful for it all.

My only rule is that I don't beg for donations.
So chill here guys

 

[jkl32111]

会有ntr吗

 

[Huaysz]

Unknown1653

Hey Men! not sure how to reply the rate,so I ping u here.
Hope u can see it.

Here it goes.
Thank you very much for your detailed feedback. I truly value your opinion. First, I appreciate your praise for Abyss Girl, and I’m really sorry that I wasn’t able to showcase the charm of the other characters as well, which may have disappointed you. That’s my oversight, and I’ll work harder to improve their portrayal. I hope you’ll see their growth and appeal in future versions.

As for the Sherlock Holmes elements, I’m glad you’re interested in them! I’m a big fan as well. However, this isn’t a fan work; I’ve simply borrowed some elements to create my own story. I hope you can find new enjoyment in it.

Regarding the confusion about the story’s direction, it might be because we’re still in the early stages, and many things haven’t been resolved yet. Nevertheless, I really appreciate you pointing this out, and I’ll work on making the story’s direction clearer. I hope to provide a better experience in future updates.

As for the issue of excessive dialogue, while it may seem that way now, those dialogues actually hide a lot of character relationships and world-building. However, I completely understand if you’re not a fan of these parts. In any case, thank you for your input, and I’ll consider how to better balance the narrative.

Regarding the sound effects, you seem to have a lot of experience in this area, perhaps even as a professional coder. I’m still learning and can only work on these issues in my spare time after work, so there are bound to be some oversights. If possible, could you help point out which parts of the sound effects have issues? If you don’t have the time to assist, I completely understand, as you’re not obligated to help a stranger. However, this is the only feedback I’ve received about sound issues, so perhaps it’s due to the speed at which you click through the game? Either way, I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention, and I’ll work to improve it.

Finally, regarding the use of depth of field, haha, that’s definitely a personal preference of mine, and I may have gone a bit overboard. I can only accept your criticism, and I really appreciate you pointing it out!

Once again, I sincerely thank you for your detailed review. I’ll continue working hard to improve this game and hope that future versions will better meet your expectations.

(P.S. I thought you’d roast my terrible English translation first, but you didn’t. Well... I’m surprised.)

Thanks for your reply. Well, I up your 2 stars cause 1 too bad, I think again. Technically, when you do an opening scene. You want to hook them into a story. That's a lot of things to do and I see a lot of AVNs can't do that. Cause well, if they can they don't do this kind of stuff HAHA. This is my opinion if I were you. I will start with a case. A case that has MC in it. And he with his teammates cooperate to solve the problem. But he does like 90% of that, and you want to make him have some mental issue or lack of communication in some cases. (Yeah, I know, that's similar to Sherlock I get it. But you can try. Everything is copied but if you can create it in that, still a plus point.) So, the thing here you did that you made an audience see that your MC is very clever in his job and he have some issues with the communication also. That's the thing you can hook the audience.
About the SFX, Just click don't press ctrl (pls) and you will know why.
And about 0.2. Why did you choose that font for the answers you can choose from? And bold also. Just you thin. Bold made it became so strong in choice. To underline something important. And remember to have this () when MC have something in his mind or just MC though. And bro can you change how Astrel approaches MC? I feel like she is just a slut who wants his dick. Not the one who is strong and mysterious. you just need to make her words have weight and make it worth the MC's attention. getting a little closer is fine too.
And also. Just working more on this shit studio. You will improve. Your render right now is only above those guys just download HS2 and start working on it, not even spending time to practice. Just watch more film and you will know how to deal with it.
And the important thing is just to watch those comments on this site. Sometimes is bad but if you know how to work on those feedback. It's gonna be good. Don't hear those talk about (Don't go to the F95 site). And don't ask why I know it

 

[J0K3RXXX]

Interesting.