Ren'Py Abandoned Project Nevaryn [v0.12] [DeepAnglerMedia]

[HansDampf788]

1. No one is forcing you to play the game.

You are right no one is forcing me but it should be in your interest to get people interested in your game.

2. The story is slowly being revealed, why would I dump the whole plot onto my first patch of the game where only 3 locations are accessible and incomplete? It's in development, it's not a finished product, so I'm not worried about anyone not knowing what it's about. This is the point.

I didn't say you should reveal the complete story but there should be some information about the game.

4. If you don't know anything about the game, isn't that exactly why you would play it? To find out? Why would someone play a game they know everything about? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of storytelling?

Again did I say you should reveal everything about your game? No, I didn't.

5. "What is it about" - See point #2
"What content will be in it" I don't think revealing the content through the description is necessary. See #4.

Yes, it is very important to reveal at least some tags that will be included in your game because there are tags that people hat and they don't want to waste time playing a game just to have these tags suddenly appear.

The fact that you are on this thread, replying and critiquing the game, my itch page, and Patreon page, shows to me that you are, or at least have had, interest in the game or development.

Well, I saw the game appear in the latest updates and if a game isn't already on my ignore list I at least check the OP and the first page of comments out to see if a game could be interesting or not.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

You are right no one is forcing me but it should be in your interest to get people interested in your game.


I didn't say you should reveal the complete story but there should be some information about the game.


Again did I say you should reveal everything about your game? No, I didn't.


Yes, it is very important to reveal at least some tags that will be included in your game because there are tags that people hat and they don't want to waste time playing a game just to have these tags suddenly appear.


Well, I saw the game appear in the latest updates and if a game isn't already on my ignore list I at least check the OP and the first page of comments out to see if a game could be interesting or not.

All very fair points. However, take a look at these numbers.
On my itch page, where the game versions were officially uploaded, I initially grew into a following of around 30-40 visitors a day. After about three days, this number of visitors grew to a few hundred. Fast forward to a few days later, and the first official patch of the game, I have had around 3k views within a day, as well as past a hundred downloads. This shows what you refer to as "interest". I am unsure why the interest in my game is your business, my game being uploaded to this site without my knowledge brought me to make an account and have control over the forum. I appreciate your advice, but as of right now I am in no need. I appreciate that you would like me to gain a following and be successful, it is very touching, but then again, you are just a viewer and to you, if it doesn't meet your standards and expectations, you can 100% ignore it, which is a decision I respect. After viewing your account, I notice that you critique many games of others. I appreciate the criticism, but then again, receiving "interest" advice on a piracy site where anyone can view my page and comment is none of my concern, let alone yours. You aren't in a position to dictate the path of how the game should be presented. Honestly, if I wanted a marketing team, I'd get one. Right now, marketing and reach is growing steadily on my itch.io page, which completely negates anything you said about growing interest in the game. Right, to you, it may be a completely different story. To you, this game may be uninteresting in every way. That is totally fine, I don't expect to please everyone with my content. However, you becoming a pseudo marketing analyst as well as a strategic advertiser for other's games seems very intrusive and overall condescending. I sincerely appreciate all the criticism you have given me, but, my friend, it is none of your concern as I am satisfied with my interest numbers.
You are not the only person in the site, you aren't owed anything, what developers develop for their own sake is none of your concern, so I'd very much appreciate it if the direction of the game is left up to me, the actual developer.
Take care.
-Deep Angler Media

 

[Mister_M]

Looking at the renders and plot description I decided to give it a try, but unfortunately I can't say I enjoyed it. What I've got was unavoidable pseudo-dream sex scene and a scene where my MC was watching 2 other characters going at each other. Unavoidable sex scenes - no matter if I'd chose to see them or not if I had a choice - are one of the things that I really hate in VNs. I'll try one more update to see if that was only for the sake of introduction, but for now I can't see myself liking and/or supporting the game.

Also, it would be good to have the dialogue choices we already chose disappear.

Also, the game should be tagged with lesbian tag.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

Looking at the renders and plot description I decided to give it a try, but unfortunately I can't say I enjoyed it. What I've got was unavoidable pseudo-dream sex scene and a scene where my MC was watching 2 other characters going at each other. Unavoidable sex scenes - no matter if I'd chose to see them or not if I had a choice - are one of the things that I really hate in VNs. I'll try one more update to see if that was only for the sake of introduction, but for now I can't see myself liking and/or supporting the game.

Also, it would be good to have the dialogue choices we already chose disappear.

Also, the game should be tagged with lesbian tag.

That's a very interesting take!
I'm sorry that it seemed forced to have the sex scene. My thought process was, how can I patch a game and not include a love scene? My goal with the dream sex scene was to intrigue the viewer, and originally was just going to have Harper say, "You aren't dreaming" yada yada. All just to make the viewer question if it was a dream or not. Nymph Touch was very similar to the dream sequence, and with that my goal was to have the viewer go "Oh, it's as if their in their dream worlds now, so was I actually dreaming?". I really do agree that the sex scenes shouldn't be so forced though. I was scared that it seemed rushed, so I'll take that into consideration when writing.
The keeping of certain dialogue was kept so that in later conversations, important messages could be replayed. I'll take this into consideration though.
Do you prefer a storyline with no sex scenes, and to have the love be earned? I was inspired by Treasure of Nadia by NLT, and I think that influenced why I made the sex scenes mandatory. I wrote a whole story that involves love, but isn't too sex-heavy. Maybe I'll try to flesh it out in the long run and not shove the sex down everyone's throat next time? I'm not sure. The lesbian scene was to make sure that the viewers know these characters are open to sex, and are very comfortable around showing their bodies to other people, which will make sense later in the game. Maybe I'll try to flesh out the content and context a little more, I'd hate to not listen to those taking their time to try out my first VN.
Thank you so much for the criticism!
It will be taken into consideration.
-Deep Angler Media

 

[Mister_M]

The keeping of certain dialogue was kept so that in later conversations, important messages could be replayed. I'll take this into consideration though.

In my eyes it seemed like the game didn't know if I used given option or not, so it created an uncertainty if all these dialogue options really amount to anything, in other words is not telling Harper about a dream sex leads to a different outcome somewhere in the future than telling her and so on. Also it imo negatively influence the flow of the game and makes immersion more difficult.

I'm sorry that it seemed forced to have the sex scene. My thought process was, how can I patch a game and not include a love scene? My goal with the dream sex scene was to intrigue the viewer, and originally was just going to have Harper say, "You aren't dreaming" yada yada. All just to make the viewer question if it was a dream or not. Nymph Touch was very similar to the dream sequence, and with that my goal was to have the viewer go "Oh, it's as if their in their dream worlds now, so was I actually dreaming?". I really do agree that the sex scenes shouldn't be so forced though. I was scared that it seemed rushed, so I'll take that into consideration when writing.

I got that from the story, this uncertainty that you want to create: if that was or wasn't a dream. But I think giving an option to avoid the sex (let's say after she crawls closer to the MC) wouldn't negatively affect the plot in any way. Or - if MC really has some control over the dream - you could say that it connects with his deeper desires and have a few choices as to how the sex scene should play out (making additional 5-15 render shouldn't be that big of a problem?) and have vanilla variation, maledommy variation and so on. I think it could be a good hook for the players of different kink preferences, but it's your game and I don't want to sound like I'm trying to steer you anywhere; it's just a thought that popped to my mind while writing this post.

Do you prefer a storyline with no sex scenes, and to have the love be earned?

Well, yes. Though it also depends on a game. If you're really asking about my personal preference then I do indeed like earned love storylines (e.g. Nothing is Forever, Summer's Gone, Three Rules of Life), but for some kinks and types of games I don't mind a lot of h scenes and small amount of plot, but even then I like to have interesting character dynamics, numerous dialogue choices, etc. I think the good middle ground (if one is concerned about reaching more players) is to have few characters for easier sex and some for more romance with payoff later on (e.g. A.O.A. Academy, Intertwined). There are also games that are quite good in having both a lot of sex and earned love at the same time (e.g. Pale Carnations or - in a sense I guess - Karlsson's Gambit).

I was inspired by Treasure of Nadia

I never liked this game tbh. But you already know that you can't make a game for everyone, so taking your own wishes above others is perhaps the best way to take in order to create a game that will be satisfying for you to work on.

The lesbian scene was to make sure that the viewers know these characters are open to sex

I'm not really against that scene in particular, though I found it weird cause (1) we have 2 academy high ups suddenly performing lesbian sex in front of a student they met only once before, which seemed to me too abrupt decision on their part and potentially unreasonable/irresponsible one (what if they scare the student away with their actions? Or don't they risk a possible scandal in the academy, especially that there are already some bad rumors about the program?) and (2) it was a 2nd unavoidable sex scene (and this one without MC's participation) shortly after the 1st one.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

In my eyes it seemed like the game didn't know if I used given option or not, so it created an uncertainty if all these dialogue options really amount to anything, in other words is not telling Harper about a dream sex leads to a different outcome somewhere in the future than telling her and so on. Also it imo negatively influence the flow of the game and makes immersion more difficult.


I got that from the story, this uncertainty that you want to create: if that was or wasn't a dream. But I think giving an option to avoid the sex (let's say after she crawls closer to the MC) wouldn't negatively affect the plot in any way. Or - if MC really has some control over the dream - you could say that it connects with his deeper desires and have a few choices as to how the sex scene should play out (making additional 5-15 render shouldn't be that big of a problem?) and have vanilla variation, maledommy variation and so on. I think it could be a good hook for the players of different kink preferences, but it's your game and I don't want to sound like I'm trying to steer you anywhere; it's just a thought that popped to my mind while writing this post.


Well, yes. Though it also depends on a game. If you're really asking about my personal preference then I do indeed like earned love storylines (e.g. Nothing is Forever, Summer's Gone, Three Rules of Life), but for some kinks and types of games I don't mind a lot of h scenes and small amount of plot, but even then I like to have interesting character dynamics, numerous dialogue choices, etc. I think the good middle ground (if one is concerned about reaching more players) is to have few characters for easier sex and some for more romance with payoff later on (e.g. A.O.A. Academy, Intertwined). There are also games that are quite good in having both a lot of sex and earned love at the same time (e.g. Pale Carnations or - in a sense I guess - Karlsson's Gambit).


I never liked this game tbh. But you already know that you can't make a game for everyone, so taking your own wishes above others is perhaps the best way to take in order to create a game that will be satisfying for you to work on.


I'm not really against that scene in particular, though I found it weird cause (1) we have 2 academy high ups suddenly performing lesbian sex in front of a student they met only once before, which seemed to me too abrupt decision on their part and potentially unreasonable/irresponsible one (what if they scare the student away with their actions? Or don't they risk a possible scandal in the academy, especially that there are already some bad rumors about the program?) and (2) it was a 2nd unavoidable sex scene (and this one without MC's participation) shortly after the 1st one.

This was, in all honesty, probably the most insightful feedback I could have possibly received for such a short 10-minute-ish demo. You just opened a door in my mind leading to a bunch of new ideas. This is such good feedback and I'm probably going to be referencing this when I take into consideration other scenes. I know you don't speak for everyone who plays this patch, but honestly, some things you wrote here are legitimate and I feel would definitely lead to overall better game design. I'm glad to have paused the continuation of the story until I received feedback, and this is definitely what I needed to hear. I look forward to making possibly a top-notch story, away from all the cliches and unrealistic aspects of other novels. It may take time, but trust me when I say this, I am ever so grateful for your feedback. I look forward to updating the game into something more grand and reasonable, so again, thank you so much.
-Deep Angler Media

 

[WastedTalent]

I enjoyed the overall start of the game. To me the scenes didn't seem forced they seemed like they fit the circumstances of the overall narrative to this point. I read through the comments already in the thread. I will say and these are just my thoughts I agree with others it's your game make it how you want to, but I don't like the fact that at the beginning MC is dying or apparently dying, I'm sure you have your reasons for presenting the story this way and who knows maybe in the end he will survive, but for me it left this heavy nagging in the back of my mind like what's the point if it's going to cause "my death" (obviously the MC's death) it detracted a bit from immersion. As to your comment about earning it... Again these are just my thoughts no I prefer easier routes or kinetic. Overall gaming aspects in general detract from immersion as well. I'm trying to fap flix and chill not work puzzles, or manage anything, or earn points. AVN's should imho be AVN's not games. I get into these stories to escape to a fantasy world not do more meaningless tasks like everyday life. I want to relax and not stress over dialogues choices or figuring out how to trigger an event. I did try nadia and the art and stuff was great in that one but the grind and some of the gaming aspects were tedious, repetitive, and not for me so I never finished it. Some dev's have started making it to where you can play through as a vn or as a sand box or puzzle/mini game game. I am not sure how difficult that is from a programming stand point it's just some food for thought. Good Luck Dev and I look forward to more.
Edit: I like the revamp it's added some depth to the story and thrown in a little lewd fun as well. Looking forward to more time with the ladies and the story itself.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

I'm trying to fap flix and chill not work puzzles, or manage anything, or earn points.

This is probably the best sentence I have ever read in a while. Thank you for trying the game. I've read your feedback and I think I can come up with a happy compromise for both styles of play. Not going to lie, I hated grinding in Treasure of Nadia. It was a chore to go everywhere doing random things for sex, but it became a routine I guess. I think I'll develop a story, which should be relatively easy to get to the love scenes, as well as an optional task/puzzle heavy element that rewards you with more content. I think this is a happy middle, and I feel like this is doable. I'm working on introducing new characters right now as well. The problem is, I'd love for there to be a dialogue and narrative between MC and the women, as I feel like it can make these moments feel more personal. I will try to achieve both happy styles of play, and turn it into a fleshed out project. The main point for now is merging the love and history together though. I'm so glad you played the demo and liked it!

 

[anon280]

I'm glad you liked it although it was just a teaser! It feels really weird but I reported the thread with the updated version of the game, so please give feedback!
-Deep Angler Media

I'll leave my review here since this is the first release and it's very bare bones right now.

Spoiler: Review - Version: 0.1

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[Deleted member 4182570]

I'll leave my review here since this is the first release and it's very bare bones right now.

Spoiler: Review - Version: 0.1

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A fantastic and well-written review once again. Thank you for taking the time to create this!
I do agree with the rushed sex scenes. You can tell they were rushed with the jittery animation playing. I wanted to appeal to those who were looking for a game which was straight up sex, to get to the scenes and skip all dialogue. I do see that this is a bad choice because it ruins the pacing. I don't know if I want to revamp this version into the next update, I don't know if anyone will get mad at the story changing. I'd love to go back and edit this version as the new content comes out though, I feel like trying to tie together the two worlds of "I'm here for the sex scenes" and "I'm here for the story" get too complicated. Is it too late to go back and change this stuff? I have to say I wouldn't be proud of myself if I kept it. I think I'll just try to make something that appeals more to the "I'm here for the story" people, as I also love a not-stupid story with good pacing. Hopefully I can find a solution for those here to fap and leave, but other than that, I totally agree with your criticism. I think it's very nice of you to structure your review in this manner, so thank you very much for that.
-Deep Angler Media

 

[anon280]

I wanted to appeal to those who were looking for a game which was straight up sex, to get to the scenes and skip all dialogue.

Imo straight up sex in this setting you created would be wasted, given how, arguably, complex your set up with the prologue and dialogue were.

I don't know if anyone will get mad at the story changing.

Much too soon to get mad. And other developers have re-envisioned their games waay into their story. It's understandable if you just want to create a better story.

I feel like trying to tie together the two worlds of "I'm here for the sex scenes" and "I'm here for the story" get too complicated. Is it too late to go back and change this stuff?

Definitely not. You game would suit this style, I believe. Unless you have insane high quality rendered sex scenes or niche kinks, I don't see people flocking to this game for it's sex. The sex would work better here with a bit of character/plot development.

I think it's very nice of you to structure your review in this manner, so thank you very much for that.

I'm grateful that you found it helpful

 

[ClockworkGnome]

Those are usually the gay ones

Or ones where the dad is mostly just kept around so you can cuck him by fucking your mom.

Incest being so popular for VNs is probably a large part of what led to the dead dad cliche becoming so common. It's the easiest way to get him out of the way so you can pursue a mom without having to worry about sharing.

That being said, it would be kind of neat to see a game where the dad is alive and is just totally supportive of you screwing everything that moves. Like maybe he was secretly gay and just got married and had kids to hide it, so he's all about you and mom having fun together so she can be happy.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

Or ones where the dad is mostly just kept around so you can cuck him by fucking your mom.

Incest being so popular for VNs is probably a large part of what led to the dead dad cliche becoming so common. It's the easiest way to get him out of the way so you can pursue a mom without having to worry about sharing.

That being said, it would be kind of neat to see a game where the dad is alive and is just totally supportive of you screwing everything that moves. Like maybe he was secretly gay and just got married and had kids to hide it, so he's all about you and mom having fun together so she can be happy.

Who said MC's father was dead?

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

Imo straight up sex in this setting you created would be wasted, given how, arguably, complex your set up with the prologue and dialogue were.

Much too soon to get mad. And other developers have re-envisioned their games waay into their story. It's understandable if you just want to create a better story.

Definitely not. You game would suit this style, I believe. Unless you have insane high quality rendered sex scenes or niche kinks, I don't see people flocking to this game for it's sex. The sex would work better here with a bit of character/plot development.

I'm grateful that you found it helpful

Absolutely. I feel like feedback is the number one thing, I don't wanna spend all my time making something and end up having all these issues after doing all the work for it. This is the most communicative site so far, and I'm loving all the feedback besides the facepalm spamming lol

 

[Blackeye.]

Unofficial Android Port of:

Project Nevaryn [v0.1]

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Spoiler: Gesture & Discord

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My android port has an alternative save location, the save will remain intact when you uninstall the game so don't worry about starting over. And my port has a textbox opacity slider and text size slider and added change name to the main menu.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

Hope you guys enjoy the new update, I reported it as latest update so it should take a minute before it reaches the latest updates page, but yeah, I've listened to the feedback and made some changes. I'm constantly working on the game so please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, criticism, or feedback in general.
Regards,
Deep Angler Media

 

[Joeburqa]

i like the character models. the idea seems good so far. but what i like far more is seeing the developer telling off people whos comments i cant see because they are being ignored, because they whine too much when something isnt to their tastes. and doing it in a polite manner. victory. will follow with interest for now.

keep your pimp hand strong, deepanglermedia.

 

[Deleted member 4182570]

i like the character models. the idea seems good so far. but what i like far more is seeing the developer telling off people whos comments i cant see because they are being ignored, because they whine too much when something isnt to their tastes. and doing it in a polite manner. victory. will follow with interest for now.

keep your pimp hand strong, deepanglermedia.

Glad you like the game's concept! Yeah, there are people who give me understandable and valid criticism, and there are entitled people who think they're part of the development team or something, idk. Either way, I take everything into account, so anything that anyone wants to say will probably be read by me, and maybe it'll impact the game. Thanks for keeping an eye out for my game, glad you enjoy it!

 

[WastedTalent]

Hope you guys enjoy the new update, I reported it as latest update so it should take a minute before it reaches the latest updates page, but yeah, I've listened to the feedback and made some changes. I'm constantly working on the game so please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, criticism, or feedback in general.
Regards,
Deep Angler Media

I really think the revamp did a nice job of implementing a lot of the feedback you have received and I enjoyed it. Looking forward to your next release and best wishes moving forward.

 

[YogSothoth1982]

Is it a harem game? Or do you have to choose an LI?

Looking at the renders and plot description I decided to give it a try, but unfortunately I can't say I enjoyed it. What I've got was unavoidable pseudo-dream sex scene and a scene where my MC was watching 2 other characters going at each other. Unavoidable sex scenes - no matter if I'd chose to see them or not if I had a choice - are one of the things that I really hate in VNs. I'll try one more update to see if that was only for the sake of introduction, but for now I can't see myself liking and/or supporting the game.

If the MC participates in a sex scene, I'd rather have the chance to avoid it if I want to (specially if I don't like the fetish).

If the MC doesn't participate... It depends on the scene, but even if I prefer to prevent it from happening (NTR, sharing and the like) or don't care if it happens (voyeur scenes of unknown characters or non-LIs), I'm not interested in see it in any case.

Also, the game should be tagged with lesbian tag.

Lesbian scenes bore me so I always skip them, I prefer to do it by choosing a text option than using CTRL (in fact my preferred option is to avoid them)