You really can not hide Sword Art Online and Log Horizon as a reference ..
If considered as a 3d love novel ,this would be the basic path of this target audience ..
Although the author comments sympathy for Japanese Light Novels, but the music and layout reminds more of something French .....
The prologue was a bit long (but we're comparing it to erotic game novels)
One of the mysteries of the story will be, where the boy's mind went, is hidden there in a corner of the brain, or in the net .. or will want to go back throughout history (it's all an illusion of someone in a hospital). .
And the old me try to go back to the old job and see the old life, and prove who he is to old friends .. (and discovering who they really are)
As 3d comix XXX, the format works very well, the characters and rendering are well made .....but as an erotic game, the author will need to be a bit more daring in erotic, and less methodical .. (without being inconsistent in history)
Thanks for the fashion of casual gaming!!!
You can ignore all comments and do something only yours, but unfortunately patreon does not work like this .. (criticism can be very destructive and will have to live with them too)
I believe that success lies in keeping something original and accepting suggestions (a balance between the two)
Maybe 0.02 is more difficult than the first part .. let's see how the author fits .. And good luck in the project!