My two cents.
The setting that forms the backdrop to the first scene is not the most original but it's not bad.
I suppose we will see other scenarios in the future.
The writing isn't bad, it's taken care of but it has a fundamental flaw for an AVN: it doesn't create any pathos, the player isn't very eager to move forward.
Another element: it seems that the reference kink is bdsm/powerplay/domination. If that is the case, it is not possible to propose a first demo without the main kink.
The advice is to focus first on this most characterizing aspect and then on the rest. This way the project will stand out more and at least will attract a specific audience.
For the future, it is important that in the writing of the X scenes there is involvement, expectation and maybe a little power play which never hurts in this kind of story.
For the moment it's a project that doesn't stand out much but the potential is there and the developer is a good writer, so I will keep an eye on this.