- Aug 5, 2016
- 5,083
- 14,028
Pretty good first release, I like the writing even if the engrish shows.
Some concerns, Darci is a tomboy who likes to fight and play ninja, maybe short hair would be better for her, like Skylars. Speaking of hair, Why Darci and some other have white or almost white hair? The backgrounds are light colored in most places, combined with that hair you can melt eyes. Maybe you can use another tone of blonde?
Almost all the girls have already a ticket to bang the MC, Is this gonna be like WVN? You're the King of the Harem and the girls are fine with that or some relationships will exclude others?
Some concerns, Darci is a tomboy who likes to fight and play ninja, maybe short hair would be better for her, like Skylars. Speaking of hair, Why Darci and some other have white or almost white hair? The backgrounds are light colored in most places, combined with that hair you can melt eyes. Maybe you can use another tone of blonde?
Almost all the girls have already a ticket to bang the MC, Is this gonna be like WVN? You're the King of the Harem and the girls are fine with that or some relationships will exclude others?