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(as posted at my patreon link above)
Hello everyone!
I haven't been around much for the last 2 weeks. I have not worked on Serenity or done much of anything else. I don't know much about depression, but apparently, I've been having symptoms of that for a while now and didn't even realize it. Now before you get that look, I'm not making an excuse or trying to pull your heart strings. Just telling you what's going on. I am still going to work on my games and continue as before. Every now and then, I get into these terrible slumps (for lack of a better word) where I just can't write. It's like... there is just nothing there. So, I try to find something else to do to take my mind off of that for a while. But then I don't really want to do anything. Play the new Star Wars game? Or the new FF XVI? Nah... Make a new render? I can't explain it. I just hit this slump where I want something, but nothing is satisfying. I know that is confusing (it confuses me too).
A friend suggested possibly getting on zanax. I said 'no way'. I know what that stuff does - it takes your emotions away. As a writer, I need those. As a creator trying to imagine a scene and music, I need to feel. What my problem is (and some of my dev friends know this about me)... when it comes to working on my games, I'm a relentless beast. I'll spend hours upon hours, especially once I start doing graphics. I can wake up at 7am Saturday morning and at 2am Sunday morning, I'll finally stop. I look up and realize I spent the entire day working. It really needs to stop. So, I forced myself to stop and just leave it alone. Take a little break.
I have a strong work ethic and a bad habit of pushing myself too hard. That has to change. The quality of my stories and graphics work has improved since I started, but changing my work habits may also do wonders. Setting myself a schedule and making sure I set a stop time to get some proper sleep. And try to get a better balance between my stressful full-time job and this. Sometimes I let myself get carried away working on a scene, trying to make it perfect (it never is perfect, but you get the point).
Well, all of that to say... after my little hiatus, I'm feeling better, and I have Serenity back in my brain again. With new content ready to roll out of the tips of my fingers. I have about half the episode coded and ready, so I'm not too far behind really. I just felt the need to let you all know (especially my subs) what is going on. I think I even missed doing the last weekly devlog and I hate missing those. So, I'll have to do a nice special render for everyone along with the next devlog as a small way of making up for it.
I'll try to post a devlog Sunday (public) along with a nice image. Now time to get back to dreamland and deal with 5 hot girls all merged into one... she's a hot mess let me tell you. LOL
Love to all, ...Fire
