I initially made a thread asking if someone could help me make a page and someone told me to put it there.If you are the dev, why you are asking here for the game?
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The game is mainly POV of protagonist, so camera = player.Glad to meet you dev and you seem pretty new to the website.
I want to tell my viewpoint of the visuals judging from the 9 thumbnails I've seen on the main post.
1/9 looks good, not the stance you see of a sword+shield warrior but I don't mind
2/9 where did the helm come from?
3/9 the abs of the guy doesn't feel like there are nerves there more like tissues... and the left arm looks like the skin of an old person...
4/9 Those are some really tanned legs...
5/9 he looks loyal and servant. the ground looks like a pixelated videogame from legend of zelda : ocarina of time
6/9. again, very tanned legs..
7/9 is the white-haired woman supposed to be looking at the camera or the girl?
anyway nice reunion scene
8/9 waifu material. looks very good
9/9 judging by the distance and the lightning. should the girl be more dark? There's 1 dimmed lamp but the girl is shining like she could illuminate the room by herself XD
tl;dr maybe fix the lightning of the dark-blonde girl and more grass patch on the outside scenes.
If you have time, redo the arms (and abs) of the scene in the pictures 3/9 and 7/9
The maps are not made by me so i can't do much about that.
I hope you will play the game and enjoy what i have created so far!
- Nov 16, 2017
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The problem is that the story moves far too fast, and the erotic scenes are short anyways... If you're trying to build a game for masturbation purposes rather then a meaningful visual novel with erotic stuff included, then you need for the story development to matter... And because it just jumps from scene to scene with very little story content in each, it makes the whole experience feels utterly rushed, which ruins the immersion... The point behind a visual novel over a typical adult/erotic game, is the story elements that make the reader/player feel immersed in the story and in the protagonist... If you don't have that immersion and sense of involvement in a deep and meaningful story, then it just becomes this hollow experience and people will not want to continue reading/playing...
I understand you want to get to the erotic stuff quickly, but in a choice based visual novel it's typically a risk vs reward system... You read about the protagonists involvement in the story, taking the occasional risk with choices, building up and building up to an eventual reward (in the form of erotic content usually)... This in turn makes the reward more fulfilling and places more meaning in the tale being told... If you don't have that build up, and just rush through the story jumping from reward to reward to reward, you take away that immersive build up leading to an eventualy rewarding climax...
Thank you, will put more effort towards story and character development in future updates.
First off looks promising. Second I am just a player not a dev so please dont take this next part to negitave, but I pretty much agree with Zippty foucs a little more Immersion then slam it with the erotic game element. I say that because even tho this is still early development and it is not easy stuff by no means, But if I didn't watch harem comedy anime I would have no idea whats going espically with the backgrounds and the random costumes change up.(to briefly sum it up)
BTW Long erotic grinding like "Summer Job" & "Time Loop Hunter" are annoying at times so thank you for delving the fan sevice in your game
BTW Long erotic grinding like "Summer Job" & "Time Loop Hunter" are annoying at times so thank you for delving the fan sevice in your game
- Jul 1, 2017
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- Jun 10, 2017
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lines 272 and 277: shouldn't it be Mary instead of Leya ?
line 135: The name of the courier is wrong, you wrote "courir". By the way, "herald" would probably be better.
line 1062 and following until 1092 included: You used "c" (Cait) instead of "cr" (the courier)
line 1088: You haven't defined "training6". Here, it's better to put the pictures into the "images" folder, and to add this at the end of "option.rpy" :
It will prevent this kind of error in the future.
More on
line 135: The name of the courier is wrong, you wrote "courir". By the way, "herald" would probably be better.
line 1062 and following until 1092 included: You used "c" (Cait) instead of "cr" (the courier)
line 1088: You haven't defined "training6". Here, it's better to put the pictures into the "images" folder, and to add this at the end of "option.rpy" :
Code:
define config.automatic_images = [ '/', '_' ]
define config.automatic_images_strip = [ "images" ]More on
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and
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.
- Jun 16, 2017
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Doing my best, hope it won't disappoint, it is my first game so feel free to give constructive critisism so I can improve
- Aug 29, 2016
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Link:
Release: 29 Mar 2018
Version: 0.4.0
Platform: PC / Windows
Language: English
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Release: 29 Mar 2018
Version: 0.4.0
Platform: PC / Windows
Language: English
Hello RB3, just finished playing v0.4 and got some suggestions/ideas for you:
For whatever reason, I think this game has some potential... and even if you don’t use my ideas, it will be interesting to see where it goes. Good luck!
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For whatever reason, I think this game has some potential... and even if you don’t use my ideas, it will be interesting to see where it goes. Good luck!
Thank you!
The main reason I didn't do any spelling check was because I wanted to finish te game first, I am working on this in my free time and have had to spend hours somedays just to have something to release.
I will correct them in the next update (if I don't forget).
The name can be changed, I actually like your suggestion. I am planning on making it so that the further you get in the game, the more things start to make sense (Character development,politics,...).
I'm also debating whether i should implement a 'trainer gameplay style' after the next update. This is because while I did want corruption, I don't know how to make the progression of the corruption clear. (This will cause some delay because I will have to do some research)
Well, if you want to add a training aspect, I suppose you could use the Leya model in a different role. For example: let's say she's assigned to be the Chosen One's squire. As the squire, she would be inclined to do what the PC wants and could be molded into a good/bad version depending on the PC's choices. For example: killing prisoners and lying would eventually make her into a cruel sadist, while being the good guy would have her become a paladin-like character.
While I'm offering suggestions, I have an expansion of something I mentioned before:
While I'm offering suggestions, I have an expansion of something I mentioned before:
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