VN Ren'Py Sophie: The Girl from the Zone [v0|3.00] [DavyCroquette]

[Saint Blackmoor]

I don't mind having deaths in the plot for the sake of escalating drama if it justifies the plot idea. However, for me, all this looks extremely unrealistic in the sense that the main character only lost his sister and dear people, and literally, in a couple of hours, he is already joyfully splashing with the beauty, then again we observe the losses of dear people and again after a couple of hours everyone behaves as nothing happened and they continue to joke, flirt and rejoice, which spoils the general tone of the escalated dramatism.

Here's 3 cents back, dude. This is not a blockbuster movie or a Stephen King Novel. Time dictates what can be done in an AVN.
All DEVs don't want to lose people from boredom. Adding that level of drama makes for an interesting game.
The thing that we forget here (in F95) is each update is not the final of the story. It's building to a climax, and the pieces will fall together in the end.

It's fine to speculate on the final complete story. But keep your (If I'd made this, I would do it this way comments to yourself)
You make some ok points for the "escalating drama." it was shocking to see that here. We are not used to that level of drama here. IMO. We are mainly here for more like sitcom drama and sex.

I would go as far as say this game is more of a literary AVN. It takes more thought to understand and that expanding of thought is what makes us grow as individuals.

 

[DavyCroquette]

Here's 3 cents back, dude. This is not a blockbuster movie or a Stephen King Novel. Time dictates what can be done in an AVN.
All DEVs don't want to lose people from boredom. Adding that level of drama makes for an interesting game.
The thing that we forget here (in F95) is each update is not the final of the story. It's building to a climax, and the pieces will fall together in the end.

It's fine to speculate on the final complete story. But keep your (If I'd made this, I would do it this way comments to yourself)
You make some ok points for the "escalating drama." it was shocking to see that here. We are not used to that level of drama here. IMO. We are mainly here for more like sitcom drama and sex.

I would go as far as say this game is more of a literary AVN. It takes more thought to understand and that expanding of thought is what makes us grow as individuals.

 

[Salamango]

Here's 3 cents back, dude. This is not a blockbuster movie or a Stephen King Novel. Time dictates what can be done in an AVN.
All DEVs don't want to lose people from boredom. Adding that level of drama makes for an interesting game.
The thing that we forget here (in F95) is each update is not the final of the story. It's building to a climax, and the pieces will fall together in the end.

It's fine to speculate on the final complete story. But keep your (If I'd made this, I would do it this way comments to yourself)
You make some ok points for the "escalating drama." it was shocking to see that here. We are not used to that level of drama here. IMO. We are mainly here for more like sitcom drama and sex.

I would go as far as say this game is more of a literary AVN. It takes more thought to understand and that expanding of thought is what makes us grow as individuals.

I agree that people don't play these games for the sake of drama, and that even this kind of variant within the genre looks standout. I just wanted to say that the situation itself looks too unnatural and everything could be played more believably if desired. So for example, they would just look for a way to find solace in each other, seeing how bad they are now or everything happened spontaneously on adrenaline in the spirit of "this is probably our last day and let's spend it usefully", etc. At least show less smiles on the render itself.

Personally, my opinion in this regard is that the "Mist" game works well, it also has its own analogue of the apocalypse, there is drama, but at the same time the game does not get bored and integrates pornographic content well, which looks organically with the story.

I'm not in any way saying that this game is bad or anything like that, but rather there are roughnesses in it that hit hard on the eyes and I want the story to be only better.

If so, I apologize for the bad English.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

I agree that people don't play these games for the sake of drama,

Hey, Thanks for the well-stated response. you make good points. I came off pretty abrupt, partly because I'm working with
the DEV to make it a better game. He is French, so the English needed some work. I have no story input, but you're going to defend anything you put work into. And the way members here don't seem to understand the story is not done till it's done.
I have not played Mist yet, but I will now. I know it had a very good rating, like 4.7, and I think it's completed, also.

The best games here are a decent length and have a satisfying finish. many here are going way too long. The NLT Media games are a good example of a beginning, middle, and end.

I just today saw the next installment of Life in the Zone, and it's got some thrills and chills, I can tell you.

Thanks again for the response, and sorry if I came off like a pit bull.

 

[DavyCroquette]

UPDATE (11/03/2023) VIP ONLY: La Fille de la Zone [v2.2] - PC / ANDROID

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[Yuri L]

Omelette au fromage

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

only partially-translated...

How did you determine it's only partially-translated...?

 

[kibaris]

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a little problem here, and if i chose to ignore, the story continue but i cant make any choice and the girl is raped and killed

 

[DavyCroquette]

720p, no background music, only partially-translated...
No thanks.

 

[DavyCroquette]

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a little problem here, and if i chose to ignore, the story continue but i cant make any choice and the girl is raped and killed

OMG

 

[DavyCroquette]

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a little problem here, and if i chose to ignore, the story continue but i cant make any choice and the girl is raped and killed

Add this in: game => tl => english

 

[kibaris]

problem solved, thank you ^^

 

[DavyCroquette]

Right at the beginning it already asks for your name in french.

There is just that which is not translated, I confess

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

only partially-translated...
No thanks.

So you stopped right there and commented that the Game is "partially-translated" for everyone to see? when you didn't go past the game asking for a name? But you understood what it was asking, right?

Some things need to be addressed in the game, and also, the DEV is new at creating AVNs.
How about helping instead of hurting? (that's would make a good campaign slogan)

Our comments here have an effect on any game's popularity, so please pick your words better in the future.

 

[DavyCroquette]

If any part of the game isn't translated, "partially-translated" technically is 100% correct.
It may not be an issue later on, but it usually isn't a good sign in regard of the game's translation quality and polishing in general.

Play and you'll see

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

If any part of the game isn't translated, "partially-translated" technically is 100% correct.

Do you work for a food product company that makes Low-fat cookies? 1% less fat, technically low fat.
You know that's a slimy cop-out.
Do you understand saying partially translated will likely to other members give the idea that way more than the name change is affected? Just be honest.

 

[Saint Blackmoor]

I just wrote what I personally found off-putting about the game (mainly 720p and no music).
People are unlikely to see my post later on since I didn't write a review, and if they read this page now, they'll also see that it allegedly only is one line.

I use to know people like you.

 

[Gorainu]

So you stopped right there and commented that the Game is "partially-translated" for everyone to see? when you didn't go past the game asking for a name? But you understood what it was asking, right?

Some things need to be addressed in the game, and also, the DEV is new at creating AVNs.
How about helping instead of hurting? (that's would make a good campaign slogan)

Our comments here have an effect on any game's popularity, so please pick your words better in the future.

To be fair, early game translation is still VERY rough...

(How are you/yes, we broke up/got separated, took my gun/bat (weapon) etc...) A lot of common mistakes, clunky grammar and globish.

It really could benefit from being run through an MTL or a grammar checker (just chat gpt would be enough to rewrite/correct most mistakes, even grammarly or hemingway would be an improvement. Both are free for use btw.)

Early impressions matters in games (as in a lot of other things) having a rough start with a poor translation, AIart and wonky writing doesn't help player's retention.

Maybe instead of more new content, redoing the early game would help gather the attention (and keep it) from new players. As of now, any new player will be welcomed with a rough start. How many will power through the first act to check if the rest gets better?

Good luck with the dev, I know first hand how bad english classes are in France, but there are tools to help you overcome that nowadays.

 

[DavyCroquette]

To be fair, early game translation is still VERY rough...

(How are you/yes, we broke up/got separated, took my gun/bat (weapon) etc...) A lot of common mistakes, clunky grammar and globish.

It really could benefit from being run through an MTL or a grammar checker (just chat gpt would be enough to rewrite/correct most mistakes, even grammarly or hemingway would be an improvement. Both are free for use btw.)

Early impressions matters in games (as in a lot of other things) having a rough start with a poor translation, AIart and wonky writing doesn't help player's retention.

Maybe instead of more new content, redoing the early game would help gather the attention (and keep it) from new players. As of now, any new player will be welcomed with a rough start. How many will power through the first act to check if the rest gets better?

Good luck with the dev, I know first hand how bad english classes are in France, but there are tools to help you overcome that nowadays.

Unfortunately, I can't say why at the start of the game the dialogues are "simple" without spoiling the rest. (not to mention the translation)

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[DavyCroquette]

I just wrote what I personally found off-putting about the game (mainly 720p and no music).
People are unlikely to see my post later on, since I didn't write a review, and if they read this page now they'll also see that it allegedly only is one line.

I can understand that, but before being a game, it's still a story... My "game" is for me more "a story" than a game.