Maybe this is precisely the reason, you see a connection with his character and for me anyone who tries to meddle in my affairs or tries to make me advance at a time that isn't mine rubs me up the wrong way
Plausible. I've went through some of the things Elspeth went through in life. And I see where she comes from.
Besides, most intelligent people will try to control people in their lives, because ordinary people can and do certainly very bad choices.
I mean I had relations with women of all education levels. And sooner or later I was trying to make choices for all of them, because they were picking the worst possible choice out of 100 others, even when I explain those choices in painful detail. So, fuck ordinary people!
And she doesn't do that to Valentine, because, contrary to his claim, he isn't a dumb dumb, and Els knows that. She just pushes him to seek mental health. Which is, overbearing for sure, but admirable, not something bad! You try to better people you love, not let them hang themselves.
And... Some our choices in life don't just effect us, but also effect those in our lives. And I'd advocate that the suicide of a loved/cared one is certainly effects those who care/love them.
Let me give you an example about Els and Val:
Els ruined the chances of Val sleeping with the American girl in the night club in Mallorca. That was meddling.
But she never tries to sabotage Val's chances with any LIs in the game. She even encourages Vi to open up to him. She also makes a gesture of sexual nature when Kana comes to see Valentine in the Centre.
Why do you think that? Because Els knows that the girl in the night club caries an unnecessary risk, while LIs don't carry risks, other than to her relation with Val. She acknowledges, dare I say, encourages Val to sleep with other women. She even talks about Val and Vi having sex in the next room, in Mallorca. Yet she doesn't say anything negative, because she and Val hasn't talked anything about going monogamous yet.
I mean, how is this meddling?