So, firstly, let me say that I really, REALLY do like this game. It's got one of those stories that keeps me constantly hooked, far more interested in that than the sex, wondering what twists and turns it might take, who might fail on a mission or succeed, genuinely worrying over the chances of betrayal or loyalty... and the game mechanics are well thought out, too!!!
All that being said however, it could also REALLY improve if it were to have a native English speaker go over the script in its entirety. There are a TON of grammatical errors, from missing words, continual changes in tense (past/present/future) in the same sentence, very formal dialogue when in speaking casually, contractions where there shouldn't be and places where there should... It just seems as though English may have been a second language for whoever was writing, and that it could benefit from someone more used to conversational English, you know? There's also just some references to old patches and the like that are no longer necessary or make sense.
Mind you, I'm not saying that the script or dialogue is bad! Far from it!!! It's VERY well written, especially for an erotic game!!! Just that the English translation could use a volunteer to go over and help polish it up for smoother reading. ^_^