VN Ren'Py Abandoned Tepito Saga [v0.0.4.0] [Tepito Rules]

1.30 star(s) 9 Votes
Discussion Reviews (9)
tigerdiamond

tigerdiamond

Well-Known Member
Mar 1, 2020
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lostraven said:
I see the Dev here is pushing for something more artistic, but doesn't feel he's getting genuine criticism he can work on.
Here. Here is some genuine criticism.

...

For starters, the game opens up to listing off every single character in the story, why? It feels incredibly forced and un-organic. Just naturally introduce and weave them into the Narrative. It feels like you watched Goodfellas, liked the scenes where all the characters were introduced quickly but failed to understand how it worked there, and doesn't work here. Whereas Goodfellas purposely overwhelmed you with characters to show how spiraling the network of crime really was, this just feels like a long list being dryly read. P.s, there's so many characters you will never remember them all in this very forced way.


The MC's dick look weirdly disproportionate, as does other general body parts. No, I'm not just talking about size, it generally looks like some genetic mutation hybrid formed in a lab.


^^^
This kind of cock looks like it belongs more on a Resident Evil monster than a human being.


Never mind broken English, never mind 'Engrish,' this is broken Engrish. Hire a writer, a proof reader, an editor. Literally anything or at the very least find a volunteer to check your stuff. I.e, lines like these are incredibly jarring. Especially given the project's supposed to have a dark, serious feel to it.

It's hard to take your dark serious crime epic seriously when you have lines like this:

View attachment 978590


The lack of backgrounds and much of the posing either seems cheap, making everything have a very 'floaty' feeling to it. Nothing hardly feels grounded or it just looks outright 'odd.' I.e What's with this face? View attachment 978587

Is he literally strolling to his car Leonardo DiCaprio style?

View attachment 978594


Next: The faces, you've said before you want to know why they look unappealing? Okay,
They look like something out of a late Hapsburg family Tree

View attachment 978602
View attachment 978603
Notice any comparisons? They don't look human, never mind attractive. Either out-source the work to someone else or go back to the drawing board completely and practice, practice, practice...

Look at LewdLabs work or the Devs of Timestamps to see better done 3D for comparison.


View attachment 978607

Mother of god...It looks like something crossed over between 'The Thing' getting caught and having to abort mid-Assimilation and Years of in-breeding.


Look, here is the most honest advice I can give you.
Scrap this game, start fresh surrounding yourself with competent, skilled people who can help you do it properly.
Save up and earn some money to help fund the game.
Go off and practice/learn your own skills more yourself, maybe in 6 months time with enough practice come back, have people review some of your models/artwork somewhere on the forum in the meanwhile and go from there.
Click to expand...
It's their bones. everyone has that heroin chic sunken cheek & eyes look
 
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tigerdiamond

tigerdiamond

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Mar 1, 2020
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laeg said:
come on he is photographer, at least there is good lighting and shadows

dont be so hard
Click to expand...
That was not being hard. it was a clear description of why they are giving people uncanny valley creepy factor.

I didn't go on any hyperbolic rant about how grotesque they are or anything like that. Legitimately, if he filled out their faces more, made their cheeks less sunken, their eyes less hallow, made their cheekbones a bit less obvious, then they would probably stop getting complaints.

That strong cheekbone look is really hard to get right, it's a very fine line before people start to react the way they are here.

Edit: looking at the pictures again, it also might be the scale of the noses. It seems that they're going for the "cute button nose" look (on every girl, but hey make what you like I guess) but they seem just a tad bit too small and adds to the "not human" look. Like that size nose seems more like a gnome(d&d) or other small vaguely fairy like fantasy race. Not necessarily bad looking in and of itself, but doesn't quite jive with the rest of their model.
 
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L

laeg

Active Member
Donor
Dec 22, 2017
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tigerdiamond said:
That was not being hard. it was a clear description of why they are giving people uncanny valley creepy factor.

I didn't go on any hyperbolic rant about how grotesque they are or anything like that. Legitimately, if he filled out their faces more, made their cheeks less sunken, their eyes less hallow, made their cheekbones a bit less obvious, then they would probably stop getting complaints.

That strong cheekbone look is really hard to get right, it's a very fine line before people start to react the way they are here.
Click to expand...
maybe it is normal to looks like this in his country/town
 
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macadam

macadam

Chicken Bubble Butt
Game Developer
Aug 5, 2016
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lostraven said:
View attachment 978590
Click to expand...
i have to admit, this made me laugh alots.

And i m stuck in my mind to still trying to understand what the dev wanted to say here...

is she gonna bath in Cheerios?

But i think she just tell him to take a bath while she is preparing breakfast...

I dont mind a bit of engrish, i myself are pretty good at this XD. But definitly recommend the dev to ask around for a small translation. there is always people who like to help.
 
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macadam

macadam

Chicken Bubble Butt
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Aug 5, 2016
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laeg said:
maybe it is normal to looks like this in his country/town
Click to expand...
i wonder too. It's actually not the first time i see a game with this kind of characters design ...
Maybe that's how people think it's beauty in some countries... it's possible i guess, after all, to each their own tastes heh.
 
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laeg

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Dec 22, 2017
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macadam said:
i wonder too. It's actually not the first time i see a game with this kind of characters design ...
Maybe that's how people think it's beauty in some countries... it's possible i guess, after all, to each their own tastes heh.
Click to expand...
Wanted to write something funny but i got enought shit from mods for nothing...

Btw When u will do new update
 
caxhub

caxhub

Engaged Member
Aug 22, 2019
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Download android v0.0.4.0 APK
You must be registered to see the links

P/s: Request Link Android Game at my
You must be registered to see the links
 
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laeg

Active Member
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Dec 22, 2017
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Tepito rules said:
they will not take so long to arrive according to the relativity of the game. I think I have some related images out there, if you like, I'll pass them on.
Click to expand...
definitely if u r willing to share with us some pictures of your awesome babes.

we r nervously waiting for next update of your masterpiece:)
 
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D

Deleted member 2976426

Newbie
Oct 20, 2020
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Entiendo que toma tiempo hacer un juego, mucho tiempo!!, pero eso no es excusa para hacer modelos con caras tan horribles, yo creo que deberias mejorar las caras ya que son tan horribles que me dejaron traumado!, te pido que mejores las caras solo eso y tambien considero que es mala idea presentar a los personajes, yo creo que es mejor introducirlos y presentarlos en el momento que haiga que introducirlos.
 
ShamanLab

ShamanLab

[Industry News] Weird behavior (c)
Game Developer
Dec 16, 2019
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Have no idea why this game has so many negative reviews.

At least dev didn't copy-pasting moronic college-student-syssy-armoredCloudMaiden-walk-around-the-room crap with standard models in pre rendered environment but trying to make something unique with kind of artistic touch.

Have a good luck!
 
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juanito

juanito

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Jun 19, 2017
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macadam said:
And i m stuck in my mind to still trying to understand what the dev wanted to say here...

is she gonna bath in Cheerios?

But i think she just tell him to take a bath while she is preparing breakfast...
Click to expand...
"take a bath in what I prepare breakfast for you" is practically a word-for-word translation of "báñate en lo que preparo el desayuno para ti"

báñate: imperative mood for the verb shower
en lo que: "in what", but here it means "while"
preparo: I prepare (could be, hago: I make)
breakfast: desayuno (ayuno even means fast (as in not eating), and break- and des- have similar meanings too)
for: para
ti: you (2nd person, masculine and feminine, singular, personal pronoun; USED AFTER PREPOSITIONS, so "ti" instead of "tú")

You could also say "te hago el desayuno" instead of "preparo el desayuno para ti" and it'd mean the same.
Te hago: I make (for) you

So it should be something like: Take a shower while I make breakfast for you.
macadam said:
i wonder too. It's actually not the first time i see a game with this kind of characters design ...
Maybe that's how people think it's beauty in some countries... it's possible i guess, after all, to each their own tastes heh.
Click to expand...
Definitely not.
 
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1.30 star(s) 9 Votes