VN Ren'Py Onhold The Buran Inside the Walls [v0.15.1] [hana-mo]

[hana-mo]

The characters are not copies of other those in other games.

-I have some experience as a character designer and these tools are incredible-

Your Patreon and developer notes explain you are learning English & requesting help. I do not understand what you are trying to convey with the ROCK story at the beginning of the game. Please explain your ideas to whoever you get to translate.
What is the language you need translated?

- I can speak english but I'm not native. Expressing myself through the script its easy, but the selection of words at my disposal isn't as big as someone who has spoken/studied the language for a long time. That should make everything more tedious to read but remain understandable, my objective is to be able to have the same pacing and make everything as fluid as in my own language. Don't want to give any personal info bc my work wouldn't let me do this as a hobby- Hope you understand-

-The rock story at the start is very simple and there should be no problems with it imo. The player is having a dumb thought mid conversation about giving themselves a nick on their own but making it natural- then the prompt where you choose your name is shown. I don't really see a problem there

???? The question marks as apparent placeholders for words make no sense. It just makes the game harder to understand. Guessing at the word is better than question marks.

- The question mark thing is something I'll look into, I think my scope of the script with a flowchart got too far too quickly which meant that I had to get some questions in the head of whoevers playing very early, I'll substitute them next patch, was doubting myself with this one, thanks!~

What is “suplexed” supposed to mean?

-Suplexed is a real word iirc, don't understand the problem here either

Your version number indicates you are several significant stages into the game, which you clearly are not. Are you trying to misrepresent the game as being much more developed than it is?

-Don't know the problem with the version either?: 0.1 First version (the last one) 0.13 means that this "episode" is a third of the way done, 0.13.1 <-- The 1 at the end is a patch I included after releasing the 0.13 on patreon.

-The 2 things which I am most interested in your comment and I cannot comprehend/understand:

Sound volume is preset to MAXIMUM. It is good that the sound does not start before it can be adjusted.

? The sound does not start at the very beginning so that you can adjust it and all mp3 are edited with audacity so that they don't start at their full volume, instead they go from 0 to their normal volume then loop with a fadeout

Sentences or thoughts split across multiple screens. Annoying. By the time the MC gets to the movie theater, I’m starting to get a headache and have pretty much given up trying to make sense of what is being said. I guessing a lot of the comments are geared towards humor.

?

Thank you for your honest opinion!

If someone knows what they mean and have experienced the same, please comment! I'm interested and would like to address it!!~

 

[ahxjosu]

I dont like evan

 

[DH4444]

-I have some experience as a character designer and these tools are incredible-



- I can speak english but I'm not native. Expressing myself through the script its easy, but the selection of words at my disposal isn't as big as someone who has spoken/studied the language for a long time. That should make everything more tedious to read but remain understandable, my objective is to be able to have the same pacing and make everything as fluid as in my own language. Don't want to give any personal info bc my work wouldn't let me do this as a hobby- Hope you understand-

-The rock story at the start is very simple and there should be no problems with it imo. The player is having a dumb thought mid conversation about giving themselves a nick on their own but making it natural- then the prompt where you choose your name is shown. I don't really see a problem there



- The question mark thing is something I'll look into, I think my scope of the script with a flowchart got too far too quickly which meant that I had to get some questions in the head of whoevers playing very early, I'll substitute them next patch, was doubting myself with this one, thanks!~



-Suplexed is a real word iirc, don't understand the problem here either



-Don't know the problem with the version either?: 0.1 First version (the last one) 0.13 means that this "episode" is a third of the way done, 0.13.1 <-- The 1 at the end is a patch I included after releasing the 0.13 on patreon.

-The 2 things which I am most interested in your comment and I cannot comprehend/understand:


? The sound does not start at the very beginning so that you can adjust it and all mp3 are edited with audacity so that they don't start at their full volume, instead they go from 0 to their normal volume then loop with a fadeout



?

Thank you for your honest opinion!

If someone knows what they mean and have experienced the same, please comment! I'm interested and would like to address it!!~

I listed asking for help as a PRO, a good thing. I’m sure there will be some that will gladly help with translation. They need to know what your native language is. There are several games out there where supposed English speakers constantly use i, i am & i’m, instead of I, I am & I’m, for example. Your capitalization is good.

Sound: Several developers hit us with LOUD music or sounds before it can be adjusted. Happily, you did not do this (another good thing) & I hoped that you would adjust the volume in case you changed some timing in the future and blasted someone on a 1st install of your game.

Suplexed. Sorry, I did a thesaurus check rather than a dictionary check. Got it now. I'm not a wrestling fan.

Numbering: Based on your explanation. Most would have numbered it something like;.1.3.1. or .1.3a. Your explanation makes it clear you were not trying to decieve.

Split sentences, EXAMPLE:
Screen 1: “By default, humans wish to attain things they can’t have”
Screen 2: “By default, humans wish to attain things they can’t have a lot harder than things they have in very trivial ways”.
SO; screen 2 repeats screen 1 and adds some text. This happens many, many times. There is at least one instance of this being split across THREE screens, but the special text formatting of “something observing me” makes some sense for the additional screen, but keeping it all on one screen would be better, keeping the special formatting in place.

ROCKS: I thought you might be trying to convey something that did not translate well. Since you intended it to be a “dumb” thought, then OK. I know when I was learning Spanish, some jokes or thoughts did not come across correctly when literally translated. When I learned more Spanish and/or was around Spanish speakers who would explain things better in English, they made sense.

 

[hana-mo]

I listed asking for help as a PRO, a good thing. I’m sure there will be some that will gladly help with translation. They need to know what your native language is. There are several games out there where supposed English speakers constantly use i, i am & i’m, instead of I, I am & I’m, for example. Your capitalization is good.

Sound: Several developers hit us with LOUD music or sounds before it can be adjusted. Happily, you did not do this (another good thing) & I hoped that you would adjust the volume in case you changed some timing in the future and blasted someone on a 1st install of your game.

Suplexed. Sorry, I did a thesaurus check rather than a dictionary check. Got it now. I'm not a wrestling fan.

Numbering: Based on your explanation. Most would have numbered it something like;.1.3.1. or .1.3a. Your explanation makes it clear you were not trying to decieve.

Split sentences, EXAMPLE:
Screen 1: “By default, humans wish to attain things they can’t have”
Screen 2: “By default, humans wish to attain things they can’t have a lot harder than things they have in very trivial ways”.
SO; screen 2 repeats screen 1 and adds some text. This happens many, many times. There is at least one instance of this being split across THREE screens, but the special text formatting of “something observing me” makes some sense for the additional screen, but keeping it all on one screen would be better, keeping the special formatting in place.

ROCKS: I thought you might be trying to convey something that did not translate well. Since you intended it to be a “dumb” thought, then OK. I know when I was learning Spanish, some jokes or thoughts did not come across correctly when literally translated. When I learned more Spanish and/or was around Spanish speakers who would explain things better in English, they made sense.

Thank you so much for the follow-up! I can't afford a translator right now (part of why I'm doing this as a hobby in my free time) and I don't want to make friends help me without paying them, but I'll take your advice into consideration!

As for the split sentences you make a good point, I really liked this format when reading text in other games as a way to easily digest some really big blocks of text that can't otherwise be split into 2 sentences, but if it made you get tired of reading (have the opposite reaction to mine) it's something important to take into consideration

I'm debating between making the next- a fast small update or a slow but bigger one, but whenever I release it on patreon, if possible, I'd like to get your permission to ask people in a itch.io devlog about their opinion on the "split sentences".

And if you ever have some spare time, get to the end of this update, and feel like it, I'd love to get an opinion of the quality of the end renders as it is the only thing that I'm wondering about right now.
Again thanks so much for the opinion! I feel like it was a good idea to publish the update on f95 for reviews after all~!

 

[hana-mo]

New devlog over at itch.io about a new character:

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[Lebeaubrun]

game has fun girl design, really like the sister and white haired lady sleepy eyes. but really doesnt have much content atm..

 

[hana-mo]

game has fun girl design, really like the sister and white haired lady sleepy eyes. but really doesnt have much content atm..

Thank you- The next update will be a small patch with fixes and only two scenes. After that, I plan to work on a larger update.
Please be sure to let me know if there's anything else you liked or disliked about the current version!~

 

[YogSothoth1982]

I've already planned a romance for most routes but some of them will be the slow burn/hard to connect kind, as its my favorite one
Don't know if every love interest will have that buildup cause' it will be hard for some of the bad guys (girls in this case), although there's a harem route/end for sure

Thanks for the question~!

Is it possible to avoid the sex scenes with the LIs who aren't going to have a romance with the MC?

 

[hana-mo]

Is it possible to avoid the sex scenes with the LIs who aren't going to have a romance with the MC?

Don't know yet if there will be any characters with no romance whatsoever. What I said there is that probably not every character will have a slow burn buildup-

If in the future I change my mind and I write any like that (say a character that wants to have sex with you as soon as you meet them in game for example) there will be a menu option to refuse

 

[hana-mo]

Extended info about this update and the next one at the devlogs below~

You must be registered to see the links

<- Contents of this update and public poll on Mona's character design

You must be registered to see the links

<- Next update stuff

 

[RPDL]

TheBuranInsideTheWalls-0.13.2

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[Lebeaubrun]

hana-mo
View attachment 2427650

Wait...am I playing the right game?
Fuck it...looks girly enough.
You Know what they say, If there's a hole there's GOAL.


...seriously though is this gonna happen at some point? Cuz if I know my porno tropes well enough ...basically begging for it.

dude looks like my gay coworker

if theres any content with this guy it NEEDS to be skippable.

 

[omega_rugal]

hey

tentacles? heels? sorceress?

 

[Exoplast]

The Buran Inside the Walls [v0.13.2] [hana-mo] Compressed

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Spoiler: Checksums

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[Professor Black]

probbaly the worst options i've seen in this VN so far, i dont wantanything to do with this guy, but i dont want to loose points for blair either

 

[zeraligator]

'I want to be called rock thief'
Now what in God's name does that mean?

 

[hana-mo]

probbaly the worst options i've seen in this VN so far, i dont wantanything to do with this guy, but i dont want to loose points for blair either
View attachment 2487332

Hey! The first few points are just to know which way the script is going, if you have enough Evan points in the next few sentences he says one thing and if you don't have them then he says another, don't worry about Evan for now.
Blaire's one is because she's testing your patience for a future event, pay it no heed if you only want to improve your relationship with her!
Have a nice day~!

 

[Deleted member 4865569]

NGL need an option to punch Evan in the face...

annoying as hell.

don't want to be friends with that guy

talk shit to him, you lose a point with Blair..

like what? so the mc gotta just stay passive while a massive D bag talk shit?

Don't like that.

 

[hana-mo]

NGL need an option to punch Evan in the face...

annoying as hell.

talk shit to him, you lose a point with blaire..

like what? so the mc gotta just stay passive while a massive D bag talk shit?

Don't like that.

See my previous answer for more context on points!
As for the option to punch him in the face, you can pretty much cuck him in this version lol~

 

[Deleted member 4865569]

See my previous answer for more context on points!
As for the option to punch him in the face, you can pretty much cuck him in this version lol~

but it's just a game over lol..

not as satisfying if it was canon LMAO