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desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,365
14,580
Yeah when someone is in shock it can leave them without response. I don't know how I would react in a situation like that.
If you actually see fireballs and shit, yea, you could be left speechless. But the MC basically had no proof whatsoever of magic actually being real until he saw the splitting spell. Like he is just accepting everything they are telling him like it's not some crazy talk. Normal people would first take it as a joke, and then be incredibly skeptical until they see actual proof.
 

desmosome

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 5, 2018
6,365
14,580
And what was going on with the scene with Lilith spreading her legs? Was she messing with his mind to not notice? Who the fuck sees this and continues to have a normal conversation with 0 reaction? The MC really does not behave like a human in some cases and it would certainly improve the game to have a look over.

Honestly, the first step when making these games should be to have a clear idea of the MC's character before writing the script. Is he prone to emotional outbursts? Is he unnaturally calm and analytical? Is he a pervy dude? Does he value individual freedom or conforming to society? How does he view authority? Etc Etc. There are so many aspects to someone's persona. Once you figure out what kind of person this character is, you could write natural reactions that make sense for this character in various situations. You set the baseline, and include some choices along the way to shape the MC in whichever direction, but these choices still should be consistent with the character at that point in time.

I'll bow out here. Maybe I left some things to think about. Or not. I'll probably check it out again after a few more updates. The overall plot did get me a bit interested.
 
Dec 8, 2020
194
657
I mean in this update we learn about the witch hunters so it would make sense for them to do everything in their power to avoid people knowing about magic, even if it's someone really close to them. If there was a group of people dedicated to hunting down witches, and you're a witch, you probably wouldn't take any chances. As for the lack of response of the mc, I won't disagree with you, like I said it would've been nice if he showed a little bit more emotion when he learned about all that stuff.
Keeping the secret from him to make him safe is pointless. 1 he could become collateral damage from a threat he should know about or 2 he could get himself killed if a witch hunter attacked and is trying to help his family. Not telling him with him still in the house just puts him in danger. All this is saying is they dont trust him. If he can keep the secret now why not without. powers somehow make a person more trustworthy.
 

LionHeart 95

Member
Aug 30, 2020
484
1,050
I really don't like doing negative comments but I really was hopping for something more, after the original release.
I was really hoping V2 would get us into the witch world but it looks like its an extended prologue. Please lets hope v3 is longer and we see some life in the MC.

A Question, where are the "balls" on the Mc? No boy or man anywhere would be this docile with what has happened. Even when the MC is given the option to say "no" to the girl(s) it is like he has been nurtured. and they have no real emotional reaction. The MC has no aggression or fight in him at all!

I don't see a femdom tag so why is he so whipped? This guy takes everything so well its like he already knew everything that went on, including all their secrets.

Example: The time he notices his cloths off when he was only suppose to be resting and dressed before he was awakened. he thinks its odd he is naked but no action taken or question asked.
That is missing a Tag for sure. if not rape what was it? (Even Star Trek considered sexual actions imposed on the mind as rape) She is sexually manipulating both his mind and his actual manhood without permission. Is this the Fantasy tag!? at least "sleep sex". I now it get no tag because when they alter his memory it didn't really happen. NOT!

Other than the MC has an underdeveloped personality and v2 is not much more than a longer prologue this VN has potential well drawn characters and a potential to bring magic to play, lets hope DEV can build on MC's personality.
 

Okyturi

Member
Jun 8, 2020
184
167
I like this one. Character models are very nice. Like all of them. Animations are kinda non existant as far as I can understand (unless my version is somewhat bugged/different). So lewd scenes are pretty weird. I like the idea of the game, maybe not the most original thing ever but its real good either way.

I thought developer dropped it after first release because it didnt became big success instantly but after 5 monthes, a new version came out. Still not many patrons (but it doubled since I checked yesterday, from 9 to 18) but hopefully it continues to be developed.
 

YogSothoth1982

Devoted Member
Jun 26, 2018
8,485
11,661
Keeping the secret from him to make him safe is pointless. 1 he could become collateral damage from a threat he should know about or 2 he could get himself killed if a witch hunter attacked and is trying to help his family. Not telling him with him still in the house just puts him in danger. All this is saying is they dont trust him. If he can keep the secret now why not without. powers somehow make a person more trustworthy.
There are many more reasons why it would be smarter to have the MC informed than the opposite... In fact the only logical thing if they weren't going to inform the MC for not having magic, being a boy or whatever, would be to have given the MC up for adoption to a normal family. Being witches capable of erasing minds and, I suppose, altering memories, it would not have been a big problem, that way they avoid having to erase the MC's mind all the time and all the dangers derived from the MC being unaware of the situation (that in fact are a lot).

I only see two logical ways to deal with the MC situation before they discover that he has magic:
1.- He stays with his family and knows something or a lot about magic and many things related to it.
2.- They separate from him and leave him with some "parents" who are unaware of magic and educate him in a normal environment.

For the kind of story that the developer wants, I think the second part is better.

The third option, which is the one developed in the game, seems quite unwise to me.

On the other hand, the way they get the semen sample disgusts me greatly. In fact, it's the reason why I have many doubts about continuing the game (if we add it to the unmotivated habit of erasing his mind, then the option of not playing it again wins many points).

In my case, only if having a romantic or sexual relationship with Lilith, the headmistress, her mother and her girlfriend can be prevented, would I be interested in continuing the game. Regarding the mother, the girlfriend and Lilith, I prefer to have the option to have them not reappear in the game (I would love to have Lilith killed in some horrible way)

But this is just my personal opinion.
 

Badjourasmix

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 22, 2017
7,085
15,947
Keeping the secret from him to make him safe is pointless. 1 he could become collateral damage from a threat he should know about or 2 he could get himself killed if a witch hunter attacked and is trying to help his family. Not telling him with him still in the house just puts him in danger. All this is saying is they dont trust him. If he can keep the secret now why not without. powers somehow make a person more trustworthy.
They thought he didn't have any magic powers so even if a witch hunter attacked him he probably couldn't do anything anyway, it would be pointless to tell him about that. When you're trying to keep a secret the less people know about it, the less likely it is for that secret to leak. If he was not going to be part of that world it makes sense for them to not take unnecessary risks. Also even if the mom wanted to tell him about it, she probably wouldn't be allowed to do it, and other people would mess up with his memories.
 

Badjourasmix

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 22, 2017
7,085
15,947
There are many more reasons why it would be smarter to have the MC informed than the opposite... In fact the only logical thing if they weren't going to inform the MC for not having magic, being a boy or whatever, would be to have given the MC up for adoption to a normal family. Being witches capable of erasing minds and, I suppose, altering memories, it would not have been a big problem, that way they avoid having to erase the MC's mind all the time and all the dangers derived from the MC being unaware of the situation (that in fact are a lot).

I only see two logical ways to deal with the MC situation before they discover that he has magic:
1.- He stays with his family and knows something or a lot about magic and many things related to it.
2.- They separate from him and leave him with some "parents" who are unaware of magic and educate him in a normal environment.

For the kind of story that the developer wants, I think the second part is better.

The third option, which is the one developed in the game, seems quite unwise to me.

On the other hand, the way they get the semen sample disgusts me greatly. In fact, it's the reason why I have many doubts about continuing the game (if we add it to the unmotivated habit of erasing his mind, then the option of not playing it again wins many points).

In my case, only if having a romantic or sexual relationship with Lilith, the headmistress, her mother and her girlfriend can be prevented, would I be interested in continuing the game. Regarding the mother, the girlfriend and Lilith, I prefer to have the option to have them not reappear in the game (I would love to have Lilith killed in some horrible way)

But this is just my personal opinion.
Maybe I missed it but we don't really know how early people show signs of having magic abilities, so even if they gave him up for adoption they would probably still have to keep an eye on him anyway to make sure he doesn't have any magic. In his situation growing up with someone that doesn't know anything about magic would probably be a bigger risk than him growing up with his family who can actually do something to protect him if it's needed.
 

Malleee

Member
Mar 13, 2018
146
76
I'll start with my belief that trust to me is a big deal, and breaking trust is something I *really* don't like. For some it's a good thing, not me, take that into account when reading this.


I find I'm really torn on whether I like or dislike this game.

I'm going to talk about the story not the porn, weird I know. I'm also going to say that I'm writing not because I think the game sucks but because I think there's a really good start to a story here that is being let down by some sequencing of story and lack of explanation to the reader. like the writer has the story in their heads and just dropped a couple of lines out when they went to put it together.

I guess I'll cover the list of things in some kind of order so.

1. MC has a girlfriend, who seems to genuinely like him, and he seems to feel the same, and she might be a witch or not, (at this point in the story it's unclear, and she' talking about giving her studies/ future up for him, that seems pretty serious. (human or witch). So either she's manipulating the shit out of the situation or she loves him. From the MC's perspective every action in this story from here is a betrayal of the GF. (the reasons I say its not 100% clear if the GF is magical or not, is that she can obviously receive magical energy, she's somewhat part of the household, there's a shit ton of lying going on to the MC and why would that change, it would make sense that witches were involved with men from other witch families, and her level of distraught is somewhat over the top for a normal human, with no suggestion of "Why don't you come with me?" but it's hard to say, I mean how much Mind Control is going on here?)

2. From his perspective the MC's mother/Landlady makes for a terrible guardian. MC's girlfriend who he apparently loves passes out and his mother takes him to a school headmistress and school nurse? I mean something is seriously wrong here. and then the nurse puts him to sleep and he wakes up without pants after what he thought was a wet dream which begs the questions WTF is going on, why does he just roll with it?

3. MC's family are hyper dominating towards him. This is not really a surprise considering they have been wiping/controlling his mind for years, and perhaps his "mind" is somewhat used to this happening, so he just winds up kind of going along with it... Though it would be nice it there was some internal monologue going on "Why the fuck am I letting them get away with this shit" more so now that he is aware of magic and that this has been done to him in the past.. There's just too little information here to form anything but guesses, it's frustrating, and it removes the MC's agency.

4. The introduction to Riley raises some questions, you first meet her in the shower less that 24 hours after the mother knocked the MC out cold, (with a spell) and the MC KO'd the girl he loves(?), now Riley she wants to see his dick, or more likely is trying to show it to the other girl, (you later find out the MC know she's fucking his sister or flatmate and has watched him fuck his GF.. but as the reader/player you're not aware of that right now.. which really seems weird as its all coming out of left field.) Why is the MC so passive is this scene? why is he not being aware of how this will colour his girlfriend's view if she finds out, which seems entirely possible as she knows Riley, (I mean I'd be angry and there are all kinds of reasons for it, betrayal of my GF, being manipulated, my towel being stolen, still worried about being KO, why did I have no pants in front of the nurse, wtf is Riley playing at, why does everyone think this is ok.)

OK so let's go with the only conclusion the MC is being Mind controlled to some extent, it seems fairly plain from the nurses handling of him during the examination, and further that treating men like this is common given that his mother has been doing if for years, and we're left to assume the effects of this mind control are fairly far reaching, but the MC's internal monologue does not really seem to reflect this or to offer any clues to the reader/player that something like this is going on.

So moving on, there's one conversation where I really feel that all of this should have been addressed somewhat.
MC: "Have you ever altered my memory?"
Andrea " Yes and I'm sorry."
Possible internal monologue "WTF?!?!?!?" - "Can she read minds too?" -"is she reading my mind now????"- "If you're able to to this shit you'd better fucking speak up about it... or I'm going to burn this place to the ground.... errr fuck no I won't, fuck! Can you read my mind? Shit." - " OK once chance I will hate you forever if I find out you can and you are not being honest with me. "
MC: Why? what did I see that I shouldn't have?"
Possible internal monologue "WTF?!?!?!?" why did I say that?
Andrea: "Well when the girls first started showing their powers the did have a few accidents we had to cover for. and"
Cassie "*interrupting* I'm starving.
Matt "You're always starving."
Possible internal monologue "I'm sure... was there more? there was something more important going on here than food right? fuck! What was it?? Think damn it! .... Argh!"
Cassie "well I'm extra hungry now."

I'm not a writer, and I'm aware of it, but this give the character the possibility of developing more agency into the future and who knows this might all be the after effects of *years* of magical conditioning from his family, not active control going on right now, we have no way of knowing at this point in the story, but it would give us more reason to understand his currently passive actions, and give us some depth insight into why his mother might think the MC is going to hate her when it all starts to unravel, and how deep that hate might run.

It would also give us perspective on more reasons why some of the coven are scared of him, put yourself in his shoes, how angry would you be to find your volition had been stripped from you? As it currently seems to have been, they are going to be aware of this. Yes for some here that is a kink that they would like to investigate, but mostly I'm guessing the level of desired MC anger could be summed up with one of two phrases "Nuke the site from orbit" or" Crush your enemies, See them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women!".

I mean perhaps there is good reason for the kind of mind fuck they have been performing on him and perhaps that will come out in the story as we progress but... right now???

Myself I'm more at the; Youngest sister gets a "good behaviour bond" as she's a minor in the magical world (not age). The GF gets a fair hearing, that I expect her to pass as a "normal" person or a magical person who was considering throwing it all over for me, and everyone else is getting their skulls measured for drinking goblets, kind of stage. (yes that's dark... I don't want a story that dark. but some anger would be understandable.)

But then perhaps this story is not for me but for someone who wants that kind of domination of the MC?
 
Dec 27, 2020
450
1,017
They thought he didn't have any magic powers so even if a witch hunter attacked him he probably couldn't do anything anyway, it would be pointless to tell him about that. When you're trying to keep a secret the less people know about it, the less likely it is for that secret to leak. If he was not going to be part of that world it makes sense for them to not take unnecessary risks. Also even if the mom wanted to tell him about it, she probably wouldn't be allowed to do it, and other people would mess up with his memories.
Ok lets summarize what we knew.

I put it in the spoilers.

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I think this could be a good base for an awesome plot, but now lets talk about the elephant in the room.

I'll start with my belief that trust to me is a big deal, and breaking trust is something I *really* don't like. For some it's a good thing, not me, take that into account when reading this.


I find I'm really torn on whether I like or dislike this game.

I'm going to talk about the story not the porn, weird I know. I'm also going to say that I'm writing not because I think the game sucks but because I think there's a really good start to a story here that is being let down by some sequencing of story and lack of explanation to the reader. like the writer has the story in their heads and just dropped a couple of lines out when they went to put it together.

I guess I'll cover the list of things in some kind of order so.

1. MC has a girlfriend, who seems to genuinely like him, and he seems to feel the same, and she might be a witch or not, (at this point in the story it's unclear, and she' talking about giving her studies/ future up for him, that seems pretty serious. (human or witch). So either she's manipulating the shit out of the situation or she loves him. From the MC's perspective every action in this story from here is a betrayal of the GF. (the reasons I say its not 100% clear if the GF is magical or not, is that she can obviously receive magical energy, she's somewhat part of the household, there's a shit ton of lying going on to the MC and why would that change, it would make sense that witches were involved with men from other witch families, and her level of distraught is somewhat over the top for a normal human, with no suggestion of "Why don't you come with me?" but it's hard to say, I mean how much Mind Control is going on here?)

2. From his perspective the MC's mother/Landlady makes for a terrible guardian. MC's girlfriend who he apparently loves passes out and his mother takes him to a school headmistress and school nurse? I mean something is seriously wrong here. and then the nurse puts him to sleep and he wakes up without pants after what he thought was a wet dream which begs the questions WTF is going on, why does he just roll with it?

3. MC's family are hyper dominating towards him. This is not really a surprise considering they have been wiping/controlling his mind for years, and perhaps his "mind" is somewhat used to this happening, so he just winds up kind of going along with it... Though it would be nice it there was some internal monologue going on "Why the fuck am I letting them get away with this shit" more so now that he is aware of magic and that this has been done to him in the past.. There's just too little information here to form anything but guesses, it's frustrating, and it removes the MC's agency.

4. The introduction to Riley raises some questions, you first meet her in the shower less that 24 hours after the mother knocked the MC out cold, (with a spell) and the MC KO'd the girl he loves(?), now Riley she wants to see his dick, or more likely is trying to show it to the other girl, (you later find out the MC know she's fucking his sister or flatmate and has watched him fuck his GF.. but as the reader/player you're not aware of that right now.. which really seems weird as its all coming out of left field.) Why is the MC so passive is this scene? why is he not being aware of how this will colour his girlfriend's view if she finds out, which seems entirely possible as she knows Riley, (I mean I'd be angry and there are all kinds of reasons for it, betrayal of my GF, being manipulated, my towel being stolen, still worried about being KO, why did I have no pants in front of the nurse, wtf is Riley playing at, why does everyone think this is ok.)

OK so let's go with the only conclusion the MC is being Mind controlled to some extent, it seems fairly plain from the nurses handling of him during the examination, and further that treating men like this is common given that his mother has been doing if for years, and we're left to assume the effects of this mind control are fairly far reaching, but the MC's internal monologue does not really seem to reflect this or to offer any clues to the reader/player that something like this is going on.

So moving on, there's one conversation where I really feel that all of this should have been addressed somewhat.
MC: "Have you ever altered my memory?"
Andrea " Yes and I'm sorry."
Possible internal monologue "WTF?!?!?!?" - "Can she read minds too?" -"is she reading my mind now????"- "If you're able to to this shit you'd better fucking speak up about it... or I'm going to burn this place to the ground.... errr fuck no I won't, fuck! Can you read my mind? Shit." - " OK once chance I will hate you forever if I find out you can and you are not being honest with me. "
MC: Why? what did I see that I shouldn't have?"
Possible internal monologue "WTF?!?!?!?" why did I say that?
Andrea: "Well when the girls first started showing their powers the did have a few accidents we had to cover for. and"
Cassie "*interrupting* I'm starving.
Matt "You're always starving."
Possible internal monologue "I'm sure... was there more? there was something more important going on here than food right? fuck! What was it?? Think damn it! .... Argh!"
Cassie "well I'm extra hungry now."

I'm not a writer, and I'm aware of it, but this give the character the possibility of developing more agency into the future and who knows this might all be the after effects of *years* of magical conditioning from his family, not active control going on right now, we have no way of knowing at this point in the story, but it would give us more reason to understand his currently passive actions, and give us some depth insight into why his mother might think the MC is going to hate her when it all starts to unravel, and how deep that hate might run.

It would also give us perspective on more reasons why some of the coven are scared of him, put yourself in his shoes, how angry would you be to find your volition had been stripped from you? As it currently seems to have been, they are going to be aware of this. Yes for some here that is a kink that they would like to investigate, but mostly I'm guessing the level of desired MC anger could be summed up with one of two phrases "Nuke the site from orbit" or" Crush your enemies, See them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women!".

I mean perhaps there is good reason for the kind of mind fuck they have been performing on him and perhaps that will come out in the story as we progress but... right now???

Myself I'm more at the; Youngest sister gets a "good behaviour bond" as she's a minor in the magical world (not age). The GF gets a fair hearing, that I expect her to pass as a "normal" person or a magical person who was considering throwing it all over for me, and everyone else is getting their skulls measured for drinking goblets, kind of stage. (yes that's dark... I don't want a story that dark. but some anger would be understandable.)

But then perhaps this story is not for me but for someone who wants that kind of domination of the MC?

The MC is too passive. And I agree. I personally can live with that now but not for too long. I think it is fixable with a few lines of inner monologue. Or with a face to face real talk with the Mother. About everything.

As the dev stated:
BDSM - I don't have any plans to make the player a sub and there won't be anything extreme like pegging. Think more along the lines of spanking a girl or two.

Weak MC - Some of the concerns will be addressed in the next couple versions. I'll add more inner monologue going forward to try and relay the characters transition from being in shock to coming into his own. I don't want him to be seen as just a big pussy but he'll also choose his battles.
The Mind control shit has to stop. He was mind controlled three times in this game alone. At the beginning. At the nurse office and after sex with Anna.

I think the dev doesn't want to go Femdom and I don't get that vibes from it. And believe me I am very sensible to that. For me, it worked because of the extreme Danger, extreme measures thing. I think he has to focus more on the MC and how he really dislike the Mind control shenanigans. Trust and Respect has to be earned. I think his mother has to work to get it back. I think a big argument with his mother could solve that problem.
But not too big I am here for the Fun.
We will see what Story the Dev wanted to tell.
My only recommendation by now is to flesh out the actions of the MC he is right now too unrelatable. He is our tool to immerse ourself in this world or should be.
Maybe give him the power to negate Magic or resist Mind control.
 
Last edited:

Badjourasmix

Conversation Conqueror
Sep 22, 2017
7,085
15,947
Or we could just trust the Dev and let him/her do the game they want to do.

Maybe there is a reason why the MC behaves the way he does (personally i think it's blown out of proportion) and we will find out as the story develops.
Yeah I don't think it's as bad as people are making it seem to be. I don't know what they were expecting him to do, he literally has no control over anything that happened but somehow they want him to be some kind of mega chad and take action.
 

HornyyPussy

Message Maven
Apr 26, 2020
15,395
35,933
Yeah I don't think it's as bad as people are making it seem to be. I don't know what they were expecting him to do, he literally has no control over anything that happened but somehow they want him to be some kind of mega chad and take action.
And 2 updates in...... Just let the character develop. I have no real problem with the memory altering either, i get why they thought it was necessary.
 
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Norman Knight

Active Member
Jul 6, 2018
523
2,510
Yeah I don't think it's as bad as people are making it seem to be. I don't know what they were expecting him to do, he literally has no control over anything that happened but somehow they want him to be some kind of mega chad and take action.
Seriously? Wanting the MC to at least acknowledged that the situation is really weird and all the mind altering isn't really cool, is wanting the MC to be a mega chad? You know what the problem really is? That the vast majority of games that came out in recent years have an MC that's basically a doormat with no agency in his own story So people now assume that is both normal and the only way an MC should be, people are not asking for a mega chad they only want to see the MC actually react to all the life changing information he just got.
 
Dec 27, 2020
450
1,017
Or we could just trust the Dev and let him/her do the game they want to do.

Maybe there is a reason why the MC behaves the way he does (personally i think it's blown out of proportion) and we will find out as the story develops.
It wasn't meant that way. And he doesn't follow this thread. You can see my Text as Fan talk, nothing more. Even become a Patreon.
I like the game for what it is. But I think a little bit of critique is okay in a free forum. If you don't mind?
I will never assume or expect any dev to follow one of my recommendations.
It is his project after all.
 
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