Nice! I just noticed the thread here as well, and the dev is here, so I'll repeat what I said on that other forum (I'll avoid naming that certain site to avoid getting slapped by mods):
Wow! That was hot! The visuals were great, but the dev needs to put some more work into the code. A few pointers for the dev:
Although this is a KN, it should be simple code work to let you choose the names of both main characters, if you want to change them from their defaults, to make the story more "personal" (from the reader's point of view).
Mostly, this is just by
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and using a simple variable reference; I've provided some example code below.
If you do this, be careful to not use a blind search-and-replace, especially since the word "jack" is also used as the verb, in addition to the narrator's name.
Some lines where Lisa was talking, were attributed to Jack, so these need to be fixed. For the future, I'd also suggest having an "outsider" (either a friend, or someone you know might be interested in this type of story) playtest the story, to look for typos or other dialogue errors, visual issues, etc. Could even be a stranger on a forum somewhere, as long as it's not you, just so you can a second set of eyes; when you work on a project, you can easily miss non-obvious issues.
A different style should be used for the narrator's thoughts, the *** bits before and after the text looks a bit messy. Adding a new "character" with the name of "Jack's thoughts" (or with the changed name); I've included some example code below.
So, I did some tinkering around, and here are some example code for my suggestions.
For script.rpy:
Python:
define l = Character("[Lisa]")
define j = Character("[Jack]")
define jt = Character("[Jack]'s thoughts",what_prefix="{i}",what_suffix="{/i}")
This is in the block where you've defined your characters. This will define jt as a "speakable" character representing Jack's internal thoughts, this will also ensure that this character's "spoken" text will be stylized with italics.
As for Myvirginsister.rpy (the first story in what I assume is going to be some sort of anthology), here's some example code to put right after the introduction, but before going into the story itself:
Python:
python:
Jack=renpy.input("Enter the name of the male main character (leave blank for Jack):", with_none="Jack").strip()
if not Jack:
Jack="Jack"
Lisa=renpy.input("Enter the name of the female main character (leave blank for Lisa):", with_none="Lisa").strip()
if not Lisa:
Lisa="Lisa"
This will define the variable containing the name of the two main characters, and setting their default if text was left blank. The strip() function will strip whitespaces before and after, just so it will handle if you input spaces as their names instead of actual text.
Then, in the script lines themselves, replace "Jack" with "[Jack]" and "Lisa" with "[Lisa]" - this is one of the most simple ways to do this (and, like I said, avoid the temptation of a simple "search and replace all").
I'll be looking forward to see how the story continues.
Yeah great idea, much better than mine where in the script.rpy you replace "define j = Character("Jack")" with whatever name you want. Then in the Myvirginsister.rpy file replace Jack with [j]. Bugger is that you need to do that with every version. Cudos.
Nice to see ways to get around RenPy greatness. Cheers.
BTW Dev, Good start to a VN.
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Yeah something is wrong, File on workupload is 724mb and labled as Enhanced which is 0.3, wheres the File on Pixeldrain is 500mb and labled 0.2. The "Enhanced" File's also missing the Renpy Folder which is the Reason it doesn't even start.
yepp - not only the dev forgot to include the engine files, he also uses .png, which makes the download size much bigger than necessary. He should use .webp, which is the new common standard codec.
Hey guys, are you still having problems with the download and the game? Pixeldrain is now in the right game, I have no idea what has happened. I forgot to mention: You have to start the game from the beginning. I am really, really sorry about the earlier problems.
How stupid of me! I entered a code for itch.io and blocked the game executable. I'm uploading the game right now, but it will take a while. Please forgive me.
