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eightypercent

Member
Apr 2, 2020
491
749
About to DL this VN just because of girl; she looks amazing! The only remark I have is about the colour of her pubic hair... blondes have darker pubic hair (in my experience) than their head hair.
 

Alex5280

Active Member
Sep 3, 2020
564
877
Maybe it's just me, but chapter 3 feels like a different story. Chapter 2 felt like a continuation of chapter 1, but chapter 3 just feels really different. For example, the MC went from being a student in Ch 1 to now being a VN developer. The only real thing that ties Ch 1&2 to Ch 3 is the same MC and the mom character. There's no mention at all of the MC's twin sister in Ch 3.
 
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DarthSync

Newbie
Mar 2, 2018
28
88
Over all: quite good so far. The game would be enhanced by the future development of a Gallery section so we can go back and look over past scenes.

My only real criticism: the game constantly refers to the sister as Sister, rather than whatever name the player gives her.

Looking forward to seeing how this goes.
 

TsubameYui

Member
Nov 2, 2022
355
875
Over all: quite good so far. The game would be enhanced by the future development of a Gallery section so we can go back and look over past scenes.

My only real criticism: the game constantly refers to the sister as Sister, rather than whatever name the player gives her.

Looking forward to seeing how this goes.
A couple pages back the dev posted a fix for the "Sister" issue. Works fine with the fix applied.
 
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TsubameYui

Member
Nov 2, 2022
355
875
Maybe it's just me, but chapter 3 feels like a different story. Chapter 2 felt like a continuation of chapter 1, but chapter 3 just feels really different. For example, the MC went from being a student in Ch 1 to now being a VN developer. The only real thing that ties Ch 1&2 to Ch 3 is the same MC and the mom character. There's no mention at all of the MC's twin sister in Ch 3.
In my head there is no chapter 3. I'm gonna call it done after chapter 2. Incest LIs should never be prostitutes. It's a very unpopular move, for good reason. By the end of chapter 2, sister got deflowered by her brother, and mom and sis hooked up. Hooker aunt didn't exist yet, and mom wasn't a prostitute. Chapter 3 did nothing for me but ruin 2 main LIs. It started out bad with aunt complaining that she's constantly taking random guy's tiny dicks, then escalated to her AND mom being full-on sex workers.

Dev, write the game you wanna write, but know that from chapter 3 on, you're chasing away the bulk of your target audience. Maybe make aunt and mom's prostitution optional via a choice at least? Let us choose if we're okay with that? It's not exactly relevant to the story at all. If you remove any mention of them being sex workers, the story doesn't change in the slightest. Rather, it just makes the characters more attractive and appealing. /rant
 

sedin

Member
Apr 14, 2018
252
140
I've downloaded the full VN from Workupload and there's the renpy folder completely missing.
1704622051662.png
 

FaceCrap

Ghost of torrents passed
Donor
Oct 1, 2020
1,204
816
I've downloaded the full VN from Workupload and there's the renpy folder completely missing.
Clear your cache and reload the page, you're looking at older links, they've all been replaced with the correct ones.

TheNarrator
I'm playing the visual route version.

There's some duplicated dialog around lines 635-643

There's a wrong speaker at line 754

l_name"really want to do it with you on top so I can watch your sexy tits bounce up and down and play with your nipples as we fuck."

This should be "j" instead of l_name. On top of that the "I" is missing at the begin.

You also might want to look at the scene in the shower. (around line 798)
There's mention of him cumming inside her before you even get the menu asking where to cum.
After that, the dialog speaks of him easing his cock out of her if you chose the cum on her back, and lowering her down into the tub? (line 819)
A) If you chose to cum on her back, his cock is already out... so nothing to ease out.
B) There's no tub for miles around!

And I've barely started playing... just hope the rest of the dialog isn't mismatching with what the images show...but I'm not holding my breath.
 
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The Narrator

Member
Game Developer
Nov 14, 2023
175
454
Clear your cache and reload the page, you're looking at older links, they've all been replaced with the correct ones.

TheNarrator
I'm playing the visual route version.

There's some duplicated dialog around lines 635-643

There's a wrong speaker at line 754

l_name"really want to do it with you on top so I can watch your sexy tits bounce up and down and play with your nipples as we fuck."

This should be "j" instead of l_name. On top of that the "I" is missing at the begin.

You also might want to look at the scene in the shower. (around line 798)
There's mention of him cumming inside her before you even get the menu asking where to cum.
After that, the dialog speaks of him easing his cock out of her if you chose the cum on her back, and lowering her down into the tub? (line 819)
A) If you chose to cum on her back, his cock is already out... so nothing to ease out.
B) There's no tub for miles around!

And I've barely started playing... just hope the rest of the dialog isn't mismatching with what the images show...but I'm not holding my breath.
I know I made mistakes, maybe because I was in a hurry or I was tired, but I'm going to fix them. Thanks a lot for your feedback, it really helps me with my bug hunting.
 
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marchelberg2022

New Member
Apr 27, 2022
3
1
View attachment 3149414

Overview:
Hi, I'm 'The Narrator'.
I read a lot of stories on the internet and I wanted to see some action, not just imagine it. Since I couldn't do it with real characters, I thought about doing it with virtual ones.
So I worked hard for a few months to learn how to create and render 3D scenes. I finally did it and made a visual novel. I'm very proud of myself and I hope you like it.
I decided to make this game by taking inspiration from the best stories on the internet and using my imagination.
So if you like a good story, you've come to the right place.
I hope you enjoy my kinetic and visual novel, and who knows, maybe you'll be kind enough to support my efforts by accessing my paid membership levels.​

Thread Updated: 2024-01-06
Release Date: 2024-01-06
Developer: The Narrator
Censored: No
Version: 0.3
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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DOWNLOAD
Win/Lin: MEGA - - - PIXELDRAIN - WORKUPLOAD
Mac: MEGA - -


View attachment 3126047 View attachment 3126042 View attachment 3126043 View attachment 3126209 View attachment 3126045 View attachment 3126210 View attachment 3126046 View attachment 3126211 View attachment 3126040
mixdrop gifs a danger download not allowed and blocked, workupload no problem
 

Alex5280

Active Member
Sep 3, 2020
564
877
Hey everyone! Can I ask you how much time you spent playing the whole visual novel?
I think it took me about 2 hours, but I am a fairly slow reader.

Also, you may want to rethink the character model used for the little cousin. If she is intended to be an LI, which from the looks of things it seems she is, she looks like she is likely to violate Rule #7 on this site. Might want to at least make her default age 18 instead of 17.
 

acondo

Member
Jul 23, 2020
370
2,199
This is terrible, the MC is a cuck. He is encouraging his sister to suck another guy off, and gets hot when she talks about her boyfriend fingering her.
In my head there is no chapter 3. I'm gonna call it done after chapter 2. Incest LIs should never be prostitutes. It's a very unpopular move, for good reason. By the end of chapter 2, sister got deflowered by her brother, and mom and sis hooked up. Hooker aunt didn't exist yet, and mom wasn't a prostitute. Chapter 3 did nothing for me but ruin 2 main LIs. It started out bad with aunt complaining that she's constantly taking random guy's tiny dicks, then escalated to her AND mom being full-on sex workers.

Dev, write the game you wanna write, but know that from chapter 3 on, you're chasing away the bulk of your target audience. Maybe make aunt and mom's prostitution optional via a choice at least? Let us choose if we're okay with that? It's not exactly relevant to the story at all. If you remove any mention of them being sex workers, the story doesn't change in the slightest. Rather, it just makes the characters more attractive and appealing. /rant
If those things are really in the game, then this needs a whole new set of tags. prostitution and sharing, or even ntr.

Did the developer ever mention future tags?
 

Alex5280

Active Member
Sep 3, 2020
564
877
If those things are really in the game, then this needs a whole new set of tags. prostitution and sharing, or even ntr.

Did the developer ever mention future tags?
Here is a little clarification on those two posts:

The sister got dumped by her boyfriend because she wouldn't put out. MC tells her she should at least give him a bj. She has never done that before and she ends up using the MC to practice on. Things escalate from there and she completely loses interest in ex-boyfriend. You can even skip the scene where the ex fingers her, still happened you just don't see it.

The mom and aunt are not prostitutes. They both have OnlyFans pages and it sounds like they did porn in the past. It sounded like the aunt does sleep around, but the MC's mom is married and doesn't sleep around. The mom's OF page, from what we see, is just solo stuff. Not sure about the aunts. It seems like the direction it is going is the MC will probably be doing porn with the mom and aunt on their OF pages.

Hope that clarifies things.
 

TsubameYui

Member
Nov 2, 2022
355
875
Here is a little clarification on those two posts:

The sister got dumped by her boyfriend because she wouldn't put out. MC tells her she should at least give him a bj. She has never done that before and she ends up using the MC to practice on. Things escalate from there and she completely loses interest in ex-boyfriend. You can even skip the scene where the ex fingers her, still happened you just don't see it.

The mom and aunt are not prostitutes. They both have OnlyFans pages and it sounds like they did porn in the past. It sounded like the aunt does sleep around, but the MC's mom is married and doesn't sleep around. The mom's OF page, from what we see, is just solo stuff. Not sure about the aunts. It seems like the direction it is going is the MC will probably be doing porn with the mom and aunt on their OF pages.

Hope that clarifies things.
The mom does state offhandedly that she's a former whore, as well as a porn actress. MC's dad was apparently one of the porn actors mom worked with in the past, and that's how they met. The aunt states that she's sleeping with several men currently, and is talking to one on the phone when she arrives at her house. If you have an OnlyFans account with sexually explicit material, you are a sex worker. Solo or not, it's still prostitution, or at the very least they're actively doing porn.
 

Eagle1900

Forum Fanatic
Modder
Oct 7, 2022
4,442
24,857

The Five Star Stories [v0.3] [The Narrator]

COMPRESSED

SIZE ~ 136 MB

PC/MAC: - PIXELDRAIN

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friend this link stays in loop and doesn't download...
I used the other one, but when you can, check it out
Thanks anyway as always for your hard work
 
3.50 star(s) 21 Votes