sanguineangie
I liked this version a lot more than the first one I played. Much more tamed.
I will not go into an exhaustive review, but, here are some of the points that I felt improvement:
The things that I still feel need work (to the point of intruding on what is good here) :
The apparent lack of purpose is right now, relatively unimportant, it is however reaching a point where "something" needs to start happening, not only in the inter-relationships, but also in the "story" however thin it may be. The setting is almost done, the "actors" have made their entrance. What will it be, it's entirely in your hands, we are here to read it. Don't feel this like "pressure", just as a reminder that after all the technicalities, there's still a story to write and evolve. Right now, I, as a reader, am engaged and interested, not only on the "lewds" but also on being taken into a story with these characters you built.
Good work. Solid effort.
Peace