The 2 grey one blocking the path foward early in the game
i think i could beat them if i die a few times and restart to get bonus but i'm trying a no dead run if possible.
The bonus lets you just run through the rest of the game. It's basically god mode, you can't lose. So yeah you don't want that.
The 2 greys ones are definitely tricky. You definitely don't want to ignore defense though. That ignoring defense thing was probably part of a discussion involving hard mode, which is a completely different can of worms that requires some very specific maneuvering at times.
Here are some general tips that will help you overcome the grey guys...
Do the math so that you know what upgrades to go for first. If getting more attack means you take less damage in the next fight, go for it.. otherwise go for the defense first. Your goal should always be to take the least amount of damage while getting each upgrade that is worthwhile (pretty much anything that doesn't waste a key).
Go for the sex scene advantages (minus -500, -1000 life in exchange for bonus attack or defense) pretty much as soon as possible. Go for the first one as soon as you have the 500 HP and go for the second one by taking the LEFT path (the room with the grey ogres) and using 3 keys (don't use the iron key). You want that iron key for when it's time to take on the slimes (only when they do less than 50 damage each) on the right side and open the gate that leads to more keys. Then open the one on the left with the new iron key.
When you fight the grey ogres, you should do them in order... first the one on the bottom, blocking the upgrades, then the one on the right of the other 2, blocking the health and then the 2 in a row. You can come back later on for the one blocking the grey key.
Also, try to avoid fighting the birds in the area. Only fight the ones that you need to for now. Once you get them down to doing less than 300 damage to you, kill the ones blocking the 300 HP potions as you may need that extra little HP to take on the ogres.
Oh, and try to spend your money on attack (though situationally defense and keys may be better). Holding off on buying keys to get attack instead is usually a good bet, unless you really really need that key.