VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Home [v0.9] [Yihman1]

[Archronique]

The black stereotype is real Maybe a bit too much, as a non native english speaker I didn't understand at least half of what she said.

So you have decided to make a VN? I have 3 remarks:

You should make onomatopoeia distinguishable from dialogues, it's kinda weird to read "slurp slurp slurp" like a normal sentence.

Maybe that's just me but I'm not fan when Lura directly explain the "why" of each detail, like when she say "as you know I wear contact lenses" or "There are at least three other important characters in this story"

The design of Lura is a bit weird. I tried your first version yesterday and since she was the only character I thought it was maybe your "style", but after seeing the others characters I think you should make some adjustments like her head which is too big compared to her body.

Good luck with your game.

 

[yihman1]

The black stereotype is real Maybe a bit too much, as a non native english speaker I didn't understand at least half of what she said.

So you have decided to make a VN? I have 3 remarks:

You should make onomatopoeia distinguishable from dialogues, it's kinda weird to read "slurp slurp slurp" like a normal sentence.

Maybe that's just me but I'm not fan when Lura directly explain the "why" of each detail, like when she say "as you know I wear contact lenses" or "There are at least three other important characters in this story"

The design of Lura is a bit weird. I tried your first version yesterday and since she was the only character I thought it was maybe your "style", but after seeing the others characters I think you should make some adjustments like her head which is too big compared to her body.

Good luck with your game.

Just took made this to double check... Different people have different body types. She is actually close to perfect proportions. The image on the left of her is so called "ideal model proportions". Maybe her head looks too big because her boobs are small? Surely she is not like freak territory. She is about 8 heads tall.

 

[yihman1]

Just took made this to double check... Different people have different body types. She is actually close to perfect proportions. The image on the left of her is so called "ideal model proportions". Maybe her head looks too big because her boobs are small? Surely she is not like freak territory. She is about 8 heads tall.

This time with a translucent guide overlaid on top of it... really really close to the perfect 8 heads tall.

 

[Archronique]

This time with a translucent guide overlaid on top of it... really really close to the perfect 8 heads tall.

Mmh, then it's maybe me, but when I take a look at this image:

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I still have a weird sensation of mismatch between her head and her body. Maybe that's not a question of proportion but shape, like, considering her head I think her body should be a bit less skinny.

But maybe that's just me, don't listen what I said if I'm an unique case

 

[yihman1]

Mmh, then it's maybe me, but when I take a look at this image:

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I still have a weird sensation of mismatch between her head and her body. Maybe that's not a question of proportion but shape, like, considering her head I think her body should be a bit less skinny.

But maybe that's just me, don't listen what I said if I'm an unique case

Her legs are a tiny bit long, and had to scrunch her torso slightly to compensate for there length. Also was shooting for skinny with her. Her mom is more curvy.

 

[DrDougDoesDOS]

Not bad at all, considering speed of production i'd say pretty darn good. Keep going

 

[り乇ﾶの刀 ズﾉ刀ム 尺ﾑ刀ᄃ乇]

Edited and moved.

 

[PoyntFury]

This girl looks like she has been stung in the face by bees.

 

[yihman1]

I got an idea. I want to see if people think this is a good way of doing things or a bad way of doing things.

A lot of games out there are made in a way such as follows:

You play through a game. You come to a choice. You now have Path A and Path B.
Path A continues & So does Path B.
Path A branches yet again and now we have a 3rd path which we will call C.
Path B branches out too and we will call that branch D.

Paths = Width of the Game. More paths = more width.

With greater width, you will inevitably have a shorter length.

If I work on A B C and D over X time Path A gets less far than just Path A by itself. If I gave equal time to each Path it would get about 25% as far assuming there are only 4 paths.

Lets say a game is targeted for 10 chapters long. Does it not make more sense to make to make it like this:

A1 A2 A3 A4 A5 A6 A7 A8 A9 A10, B1 B2 B3 B4 B5 B6 B7 B8 B9 B10, C1 C2 C3 C4 C5 C6 C7 C8 C9 C10, D1 D2 D3 D4 D5 D6 D7 D8 D9 D10. All Paths completed one at a time one after the other... The game completely completed at 4 points. With different branching chains.

A lot of creators almost all I see make it like this...

A1 B1 C1 D1... A2 B2 C2 D2... A3 B3 C3 D3... ect ect ect... and so on building the branches and not the trunk...

So imagine a sort of static novel that you go back and create branches off at certain points to continue forward on eventually getting more choices.

Is that a better sort of production method you guys think?

 

[yihman1]

This girl looks like she has been stung in the face by bees.

You never saw freckles before? lol

 

[PoyntFury]

You never saw freckles before? lol

I'm talking about the size and shape of her cheeks. She looks like I did after I had my wisdom teeth removed.

 

[yihman1]

I'm talking about the size and shape of her cheeks. She looks like I did after I had my wisdom teeth removed.

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[PoyntFury]

Pics or it didn't happen.

I don't think I took any pictures back then. I'd have to ask my wife if she did, since she had to be with me to drive my drugged ass home.

 

[Coxx]

Welp it was just a matter of time till someone used Second Life for their game art

 

[yihman1]

Welp it was just a matter of time till someone used Second Life for their game art

Absolutely. You can get art out there 10 times faster.

 

[rKnight]

This girl looks like she has been stung in the face by bees.

actually it seems, that bees stung her ass.

 

[ChefBoiArDeez]

Not bad for most of it being made in secondlife.

 

[Chrathrard]

Yes. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
If she can't break a coffee table with her donk, she better say "So lonk."
Also, it's a bit weird to label that woman with a feminine penis "dad." I don't know; that's not sexy to me. Personally, I'd love the option to call them "Mommy 1" and "Mommy 2." (つ 灬♥ ͜ʖ ♥灬)つ
Speaking of mommies in video games, how come there are no BBW mommies in H-games? How are they gonna gibs da milkies if they got 0% body fat? And they got nothing to grab at.

 

[Jimbog]

Oh Wow, I think I am going to love this, it is deeply weird, I can't wait to see what adventure yihman1 takes us on.

 

[yihman1]

View attachment 391982
Yes. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
If she can't break a coffee table with her donk, she better say "So lonk."
Also, it's a bit weird to label that woman with a feminine penis "dad." I don't know; that's not sexy to me. Personally, I'd love the option to call them "Mommy 1" and "Mommy 2." (つ 灬♥ ͜ʖ ♥灬)つ
Speaking of mommies in video games, how come there are no BBW mommies in H-games? How are they gonna gibs da milkies if they got 0% body fat? And they got nothing to grab at.

Not making any promises. That may or may not happen in the future it hasn't been written yet. If it does happen it will be a divergence of the primary plot onto a seceondry plot. Here is the basic bare-bones starting plot of the story:

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