VN Ren'Py The List [v0.12] [Uncle Loco]

[Uncle Loco]

No worries you are welcome to your opinion.

Yes, there are certain elements that will be out of the players control. However, there are what may seem to be a small choice early which has a significant impact on the ending of the game.

I am also trying to do somethings that are not found in the majority of VN's too. Hopefully you all will enjoy some of these unique twists, but I know I can't please everyone.

 

[Simulacrum29]

However, there are what may seem to be a small choice early which has a significant impact on the ending of the game.

Please don't add some dubious and poorly telegraphed choices to the early chapters, which will result in bad outcomes later in the story.
It sucks to get gunned down because you chose coffee with milk over black coffee in chapter 1.
Or get shanked if you choose to wear shoes with red shoelaces, because you are obviously (but unknown to the player) in crips territory, duh.
That is some Butterfly effect mumbo jumbo no one wants and it isn't fun to play either.

 

[Uncle Loco]

Please don't add some dubious and poorly telegraphed choices to the early chapters, which will result in bad outcomes later in the story.
It sucks to get gunned down because you chose coffee with milk over black coffee in chapter 1.
Or get shanked if you choose to wear shoes with red shoelaces, because you are obviously (but unknown to the player) in crips territory, duh.
That is some Butterfly effect mumbo jumbo no one wants and it isn't fun to play either.

Nothing like that, it should be pretty clear when not to do something dumb, like run into a room where there is at least one person with a gun when you are unarmed. However, there are some more not-so-obvious choices that will impact an ending with a character or two, but those are not fatal.

 

[Simulacrum29]

Nothing like that, it should be pretty clear when not to do something dumb, like run into a room where there is at least one person with a gun when you are unarmed.

that's what I was getting at with the comment about poorly telegraphed choices. In this situation, the danger was pretty clear which is fine. Dumb choices should carry consequences.

But if I need a sacrifice to the gods and read up on my horoscope to determine if I do something stupid it gets unfun and unrewarding (The same when the MC does something obviously stupid and we as players have no influence over it.).

It is like when you reach the end of a hallway and can go left or right. One leads to a "Game Over"-Screen, the other not.
But you have no clue why one is right and the other wrong. It is down to guessing and/or luck. That adds nothing of worth to the game.

 

[Uncle Loco]

Nope, you won't get anything like that, choices are clear in the story for the most important ones. However, choosing to add or not add a girl to your harem will have an impact on the ending.

 

[MrJay]

Just a heads up dev; a dark story is fine, maybe good even if you do it right BUT killing off love interests/harem members is an absolute hard line in the sand that you simply do not cross. It's not an idea that anyone is clever/edgy/revolutionary for coming up with. I've seen more than one VN crash and burn and lose basically all its players and all interest after trying something brainless like that, and another VN dev that started a shitstorm in the comments just for thinking about doing it.

I have no idea if you're even planning to do that, but let me be abundantly clear: it's not good storytelling. It's not some daring idea that other writers are too scared to do. It doesn't matter what kind of mental gymnastics one goes through to convince themselves that it's a good idea and that they're the one to pull it off: no. You're wrong. You're simply just wrong. And the justifications for thinking it's a good idea are all wrong too.

You have to understand why the vast majority of people come to this site and it's to experience lewd stories. Hence why all the "no sexual content" games find almost no interest. So, if you include stuff in your games that takes away from the lewdness, all you're doing it shooting yourself in the foot and the experience of playing your VN can only suffer for it. That is unless you're EXPLICITLY trying to cater to weirdo snuff/necrophilia fetishists, but the same thing would be true then because the vast majority of normal players would still be disgusted by that. It doesn't matter how many times you repeat that "this dark story won't be for everyone" or whatever; IF you do that, NO ONE will like it.

I truly hope you succeed with this project, and I hope you steadily improve to the point where you can pull this all off. Just, don't make this one mistake and you have a decent chance at it.

 

[HentaiKami]

Just a heads up dev; a dark story is fine, maybe good even if you do it right BUT killing off love interests/harem members is an absolute hard line in the sand that you simply do not cross. It's not an idea that anyone is clever/edgy/revolutionary for coming up with. I've seen more than one VN crash and burn and lose basically all its players and all interest after trying something brainless like that, and another VN dev that started a shitstorm in the comments just for thinking about doing it.

I have no idea if you're even planning to do that, but let me be abundantly clear: it's not good storytelling. It's not some daring idea that other writers are too scared to do. It doesn't matter what kind of mental gymnastics one goes through to convince themselves that it's a good idea and that they're the one to pull it off: no. You're wrong. You're simply just wrong. And the justifications for thinking it's a good idea are all wrong too.

You have to understand why the vast majority of people come to this site and it's to experience lewd stories. Hence why all the "no sexual content" games find almost no interest. So, if you include stuff in your games that takes away from the lewdness, all you're doing it shooting yourself in the foot and the experience of playing your VN can only suffer for it. That is unless you're EXPLICITLY trying to cater to weirdo snuff/necrophilia fetishists, but the same thing would be true then because the vast majority of normal players would still be disgusted by that. It doesn't matter how many times you repeat that "this dark story won't be for everyone" or whatever; IF you do that, NO ONE will like it.

I truly hope you succeed with this project, and I hope you steadily improve to the point where you can pull this all off. Just, don't make this one mistake and you have a decent chance at it.

It heavily depends on the situation and how well it is done tbh. There's few VNs out there that will end with the bittersweet note where the main LI ends up dying from illness etc... But in general it requires extremely well done writing, something majority of adult game writers can't honestly pull off. Even those here that i would applaud for the interesting stories and well written would struggle to do it well enough to not leave sour taste in the mouth after experience.

 

[MrJay]

It heavily depends on the situation and how well it is done tbh. There's few VNs out there that will end with the bittersweet note where the main LI ends up dying from illness etc... But in general it requires extremely well done writing, something majority of adult game writers can't honestly pull off. Even those here that i would applaud for the interesting stories and well written would struggle to do it well enough to not leave sour taste in the mouth after experience.

No, I have to disagree. There are clearly those who make much better attempts at it than others, sure, but practically no one is here enjoying these stories in the same way or for the same reasons someone watches a hollywood or indie movie. The story in these adult VNs ALWAYS has to be in service of the lewd content, otherwise the lewd content and the story will clash and the developer would have been better off doing one or the other, not both. If it were just a romantic movie, sure, such a story could be incredibly touching. But as an adult VN, or in other words a porn game? Just no. All it does is make sure I'll never touch that VN ever again, and it doesn't matter how good anything that came before it was. All the sex scenes in that game are tainted by the knowledge of what happens and there's simply no way I can enjoy them with a lewd mindset. I also will never trust that developer going forward.

 

[Uncle Loco]

I don't want to spoil anything, but if you are looking for a mindless fuck fest vn this is not the vn for you. I have a story here and I tried to make that clear in this first chapter. This is story first and lewd content second.

I am not catering my story to the standard vn practice, and if that is not for you then fine. There are dark elements to the story with death and killing and I am trying to make that clear and set the expectations going in for the player. I know this story is not going to be for the vast majority here. I wanted to do something different rather than another cookie cutter vn.

This is a vn I am making for myself and just decided to share it with others. I spent a long time writing all 13 chapters of the story, before I attempted a single render. I added a lot of things I wanted to see in VN's that I haven't seen much of or haven't seen at all. I have no plans to alter this story in any way that wasn't planned just because people don't like the possibility someone may die.

I am happy to read any thoughts or opinions, but it won't change my plans for the story I want to tell.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and giving my vn a try.

 

[MrJay]

Well, that's it for my interest in your project then. Let me just leave you with this: You don't tell a good story by doing things no one else is doing. There is no relationship with untried tropes and good storytelling, that just isn't what a story is. In anything creative, one of the most common amateur mistakes is thinking that you stand out by doing something no one else has done, or by being edgy in the extreme or by doing other niche things. None of these have any bearing on quality or success. 90% of quality is simply understanding and applying the fundamentals. 9% is understanding your audience. 1% is whatever other flourishes you put on your work.

The 1% is what everyone talks about in any great work, because it's the most noticeable and this is why amateurs over-focus on it, but that work is only ever great and well known because the other 99%, the foundation, was there first.

However much of this applies to you is for you to decide.

 

[Uncle Loco]

Thanks for your feedback and for giving my story a try.

 

[HornyyPussy]

Well, that's it for my interest in your project then. Let me just leave you with this: You don't tell a good story by doing things no one else is doing. There is no relationship with untried tropes and good storytelling, that just isn't what a story is. In anything creative, one of the most common amateur mistakes is thinking that you stand out by doing something no one else has done, or by being edgy in the extreme or by doing other niche things. None of these have any bearing on quality or success. 90% of quality is simply understanding and applying the fundamentals. 9% is understanding your audience. 1% is whatever other flourishes you put on your work.

The 1% is what everyone talks about in any great work, because it's the most noticeable and this is why amateurs over-focus on it, but that work is only ever great and well known because the other 99%, the foundation, was there first.

However much of this applies to you is for you to decide.

I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding your point here. Are you saying a dev should stick to known tropes and NOT tell the story he/she wants to tell for the sake of "it's what everyone else does"? That makes zero sense to me.

Also, Uncle said from the start that it's a story he's writing for himself and decided to share with us so why should he cater to the masses for the sake of "popularity"?

 

[Uncle Loco]

Another teaser image for chapter 2.

Spoiler: Chapter 2 teaser image

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[Uncle Loco]

Happy Holidays from Uncle Loco and the lovely ladies of "The List".

 

[TheDick69+]

I like to have the possibility to change the name of the MC, but it's not necessary. So that's nothing that will decide if I wanna play or not. But killing a LI, that's more disputable! Well, if it's done well I can accept it. But as I said, it has to be done really well.

Liked the start and I'm very fond of Diamond. As I have a little fetish for redheads the hints made me really glad. Also that a fellow Swede was mentioned in the game made me happy. So. I'll be back. Keep up the good work Dev!

 

[Uncle Loco]

Thanks for the feedback and for trying out my game. I hope you like the redhead as much as I do.

 

[Deleted member 2412505]

You failed at the very basic of the medium. 'Show, not tell'.
Half of the release was info dumping 4th wall breaking by the characters. Dialogues are also kinda annoying

 

[Uncle Loco]

Thanks for the feedback. Sorry, you didn't like it, but thanks for trying my VN.

I did warn everyone there would be 4th wall breaking in chapter 1. That is not going to happen going forward, with the exception of the opening and closing remarks by the narrators (Which you have the option to skip starting in chapter 2). Chapter 1 was a lot of information dumping to help set up the story, the remaining chapters will have a different feel going forward, but I do understand this is a game that will not be for everyone.

 

[Uncle Loco]

 

[Uncle Loco]

Here are a couple of chapter 2 teaser images.

Spoiler: Chapter 2 teaser image

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