- Sep 7, 2022
- 5,668
- 8,156
Absolutely, and I wouldn't group you in with those I'm describing above. I don't have an interest in bdsm myself, but I also don't harbor the same animosity towards the fetish as a whole.Not all dom/sub relationships, activities or adjacent kinks are about treating someone like shit, hell in fact IRL the majority of them are very much not. It's a lifestyle, and of course a fetish, or rather a group of fetishes in most cases. I loathe when I see people treat all D/S relationships like they're this abusive and/or demeaning entity, when they're not. Yes, a lot of people who partake in BDSM activities, do tend to restrict their play to the bedroom or at least at home. However, there are also a number of people who're lifestyle doms or subs, who want to be in a relationship based around that lifestyle and culture 24/7. When both parties in such a relationship or activity are consenting to it, enjoy it, and respect each other's boundaries, it can actually be one of the most fulfilling things for some people and their sex lives or lives in general.
Now I do agree that quite a few games on here, do not do any of the BDSM or adjacent fetishes/kinks justice, nor do they present characters in the lifestyle in the best of light often times. And I feel like this is where the problem truly lies. It's that a lot of devs don't know much about the subject, and don't have any IRL experience in this lifestyle or with any of the fetishes under the BDSM umbrella. They make their game, wanting to reach as many players as possible, and without any idea of how to do D/S relationships or BDSM and related fetishes justice... they just throw together their best understanding of it and plop it into their game.
Anyways, as someone who is very much in love with the lifestyle, I don't think we'll ever really agree on this particular topic, but I do feel the need to at least bring up my perspective and give my two cents. Just like not all people who are into NTR, swinging, or any related kinks are the same, it's definitely not black and white. And many people who enjoy these fetishes, or are part of communities surrounding them, won't see eye to eye and many have differing outlooks on these fetishes.
What I'm referring to above is a subset of that group, often overrepresented on these forums (and undoubtedly stereotyped by me, though experience shows this isn't entirely unfounded). This group loves maledom stuff, loves "corruption" stuff - but only the harem variety, often likes things like sleep sex/coercion/blackmail, doesn't go for magnanimous relationships, doesn't go for pure romance, and spazzes out at any kind of group sex other than a saudi harem. If I didn't know better, it would sound like a person who is phenomenally unnattractive irl and has little experience and uses avns to live out a fantasy world. Everyone is entitled to escapism and fantasies, but when people like that try and dictate what's "normal" or "wholesome", it sets me off.
Obviously many enjoy the aforementioned fetishes without being "that type", those just tend to be the loudest when confronted with content they don't like.