VN Ren'Py Abandoned The Secret Family [v0.2.0] [Diamond Novels]

3.70 star(s) 15 Votes

TripleZ

Active Member
Jun 23, 2017
685
1,561
This REALLY needs proofreading... English isn't even my native/main language and the fact that they are using he/him instead of she/her (among other things) is triggering me to the highest point.
Also, funny how people are going to complain about loli content in a loli tagged game... lol please
 
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AJBit

Active Member
Mar 9, 2018
916
1,719
You have potential OP but an English proof reader will go a long way to improve your game.
 

Canto Forte

Post Pro
Jul 10, 2017
21,116
25,836
wi5.jpg

Poster gurl .. I need no other babe .. she be gorgeous.
Here be some shining moments:
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Is the milf the mother or aunt?
Wife?

So far we have an adult male (MC) who has a wife, 2 sisters, a daughter and 2 nieces.
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Also, some theory crafting here:
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there are only these stupid teens in pics or there is a milf?
There is a wife of the MC, and the MC's mother (and aunt?) has been mentioned.
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Honestly the blonde girl looks like she got botox in her lips and nose surgery like MJ.
She looks cute to me :)
This REALLY needs proofreading... English isn't even my native/main language and the fact that they are using he/him instead of she/her (among other things) is triggering me to the highest point.
Also, funny how people are going to complain about loli content in a loli tagged game... lol please
Game oN!
 

Walter Victor

Forum Fanatic
Dec 27, 2017
5,683
19,623
Note to developer: You can patch the incest content and get around the Patreon rules, but ANY sexual content with those underage girls (regardless of their relationship to the MC) will get you slapped down by Patreon. Getting this game transferred to SubscribeStar is highly recommended. You can still keep a toned-down version (without sex with the lolis) on Patreon.
 

tigerdiamond

Well-Known Member
Mar 1, 2020
1,475
1,773
This REALLY needs proofreading... English isn't even my native/main language and the fact that they are using he/him instead of she/her (among other things) is triggering me to the highest point.
Also, funny how people are going to complain about loli content in a loli tagged game... lol please
It's an error with whatever machine translator they used, I've seen it a couple times. The thing is just like "ah, [pronoun] yes this is good, any one will do"
 

El_Loco

Member
Nov 15, 2019
352
351
Another attempt to make a novel with loli and incest? :sneaky: Hm... It looks pretty intriguing. I definitely wish success to the author and also advise you to make an account in the SS . I hope this project will live on the site longer than ProudFather, and he will have at least as many ambitions.
 

DenverTrucker

Newbie
Apr 24, 2020
99
225
OK couple of things, at least for as longs as they will allow the game to be here. Like what others people have said English needs allot of work, Looks like a strait up AI translation from a crappy translation program. also No one says Hello friend to a friend, they either call them by there name or a nickname, makes the hole thing allot more natural, my recommendation would be ask an acual english speaking person, one that lives in a English speaking country that knows the slang to redo the English text/story telling, graphics look great though, So for as long as it will he allowed on here.. Good luck Dev
 

TSL_JOK4R.

Member
Mar 31, 2020
323
558
i'd prefer the IC patch to make the milf a mom not wife.

there is a huge chance that patreon will ban you for the underage girls you should take the game to another site.

anyway good luck dev i'll keep an eye on this game
 

Sycho

Conversation Conqueror
Respected User
May 9, 2018
6,763
7,824
Aside from the fact the English dialog could use a huge makeover, the character definition could be improved upon as well.
Ex:

sis
sister
bro
brother
dad
daddy
father

Use alternates from time to time instead of the same thing over and over. It makes for better reading. An example of this would be:
"Yeah, sis. I'm glad you're finally back".
"She is my sister".
"I am his sister".
"It's so good to see you, bro".
"He is my brother".
"I am her brother".

Granted the last five aren't in the scripts, but that's just to give you a general idea on how to improve the character definition a bit better.
 
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Hermit76

Well-Known Member
Apr 15, 2018
1,512
1,418
The game has potential. But it definitely (!) needs some proofreading, because right now it is quite painful.
 

juan palote

Engaged Member
Dec 5, 2017
2,007
3,805
You need to make a loli patch, because thanks to some stupid people, this thread will be locked and your Patreon account will be taken down.

The only way to get around that is to make a patch that enables those features and is in another link (for example, a lewpatcher link)
 

DrakoGhoul

Engaged Member
Jul 13, 2018
3,036
10,169
You know what? I'll try it. There's a certain tag that has me a little weary but I'll play for the culture.
 
3.70 star(s) 15 Votes