VN Ren'Py The Singer [v0.75 Part 2] [IntensiveCareGames]

3.10 star(s) 58 Votes
Discussion Reviews (58)
yakargi

yakargi

Developer Of The Singer
Game Developer
Jan 30, 2019
418
2,574
look-see said:
so far its Male protag only. and as someone said earlier a chunk of the dialogue is unreadable because font color is the same as girls jacket.
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I will fix. Thank you for your comment.
 
yakargi

yakargi

Developer Of The Singer
Game Developer
Jan 30, 2019
418
2,574
yihman1 said:
The game is far too early in development to give it a rating one way or another. From what I have seen on 0.1 here is how I what I think of the game. Here is some feedback on how to improve your game dev.

Renders: Good stuff, definitely the strong point of the game. I do like the female models. They even tossed in some tan lines which are always nice. It has some minor errors graphically (Small stuff like missing shadows at some points.) but it's still charming visually. Keep up the good work there I'm sure they will keep getting better if they keep working at it.

Code:

(animations) They used a technique to make the animation at the end that is not optimal. It would be better to have that animation in there as a webm instead of a frame by frame coded animation. They code in a 40 frame animation that way and doing so makes it lag big time. Animating something like a 3 frame blink this way doesn't cause problems but a big animation like that would definitely be better in webm format.

(variables) I think sometimes they over do it on what should or should not cause a variable change. For example the first (of 2) choices in the game involves simply saying hello to a girl or ignoring her. I don't think just greeting a random girl should add corruption and lose love with the girlfriend because literally all you do is say hi. This may be more of a writing issue than a code issue.

(text boxes) There are no text boxes and sometimes the white colored text falls on top of white colored part of the render behind it making the words impossible to read. Adding a text box, or a shadow to the text could resolve this. When a character sings it may make sense to make it a different color or some other indication that it's singing.

Overall the code is not that bad, but could with some minor tweaks it would be good.

Writing:

Sadly the weakest point in the game is the writing.

Grammer: It's not the worst Engrish I have seen but there are definitely some off putting lines that make it clear English is not the writers primary language. For instance "You turned the right." instead of "You turn to the right." or "You turned to your right." The grammar is a bit sketchy but that is understandable I'm not going to knock someone that much for not being perfect at their second language.

Diallogue: Even after throwing in a mental filter to adjust for the grammatical errors fixing them in my head the dialogue is just plain boring. Most of the sentences are very short and blunt. Both too prudent and too plain. I mean at one point one of the characters even says "Bla bla bla" like the writer was bored of writing. The dialogue tastes like stale crackers and needs more flavor and substance.

Choices: Opportunities are definitely missed here for more menu choices with only a tiny expansion in number of renders. For instance the choice to hit on the girl at the bar or not instead of simply saying "hello" would be a good start. Later on in the demo the one chick is sleeping on the couch with her ass out. Why no option to give it a squeeze yo? You can't hang an ass out there like that looking ready to squeezie squeeze and do an auto no squeeze. that disappoints players.

Anyhow, good luck with your game hope this helped.
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Thank you so much for your comment. I have read them all and I agree with you. I know English well but I have no practice. I have thought of many things you wrote and i will consider. I'm thinking of changing the animation format.
 
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idgt0315

idgt0315

New Member
Jun 26, 2020
12
22
Hello... I just wanted to give my thoughts man.. Honestly its a pretty solid game everything but the dialogue is great. I assume english isn't your first language but even the parts that you can read are very "robotic" feeling and when its not robotic it feels very 5th grade comic bookish. if you could fix that because for me personally its a big turn off. Then I think you have an amazing game on your hands bro. And im not talking about grammar. Misspell whatever your heart desires just give the people more personality and less robot. Dont rush your release bud take your time on the writing. GIVE IT MORE UMPH lol
 
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serhatdozdiyik

Member
Aug 13, 2016
272
249
lovely initial release. can't wait to get my hands on Lily!
also a small problem I have noticed is, when the background is white (Ria's white jacket for example, or in the car) and the text is white too, the whole text is unreadable. don't exactly know how to fix that, since I don't know shit about renpy, but would just put it out there.

waiting for the update already, keep it up!
 
Vrijgeest

Vrijgeest

Engaged Member
Jun 16, 2019
3,332
3,182
I agree about the Engrish and grammar. It is rough. Why so much violence? The faces of the girls look so much younger than their bodies. The renders are good though. I think a few updates are required to sort things out. It is a reasonable start.
 
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wulfy1

Newbie
Aug 27, 2017
89
85
Something about being put in the beta role right off the bat bugs me. Not my type of game. Good luck.
 
caxhub

caxhub

Engaged Member
Aug 22, 2019
2,418
2,298
Download android v0.1 APK
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P/s: Request Link Android Game at my
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1 Lone Wolf

1 Lone Wolf

Newbie
Jun 6, 2020
22
17
The pictures and the story to me sound very similar to Become A Rock Star. Even the singer looks almost identical to the main character in Rock Star. I am still going to check this out but story sounds too similar.
 
yakargi

yakargi

Developer Of The Singer
Game Developer
Jan 30, 2019
418
2,574
N
1 Lone Wolf said:
The pictures and the story to me sound very similar to Become A Rock Star. Even the singer looks almost identical to the main character in Rock Star. I am still going to check this out but story sounds too similar.
Click to expand...
No. Completely different
 
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3.10 star(s) 58 Votes