Ren'Py Abandoned The Slave Trainer [v0.1] [Mr. Jak]

[MrJak]

Ran through what's there, some specific observations
- the initial left/right choices seemed completely random - would have made more sense to have some kind of meaningful choice that leads to early bad end
- the movements of the demon girl felt weird at times - too fast for normal pictures, too slow for animation
- the cage seems underwhelming - the girls seem to be quite comfortable in it and the dialogue seems to imply they go in for a minute, then go out. Would make more sense if the cage was smaller, they were additionally restrained inside it and/or they have to spend a long time in it alone being cold and/or dark

Overall like the overall look of the game and the concept. But the dialogue/characterization feels misplaced. I understand you're setting up the main character's backstory and some future slaves/lovers. But ultimately for a trainer game focus is on the girls you're training - the slaves. If we understand their character, motivation, issues, hesitations, ect. and how that ties to their training scenes and training results - that's what makes the core gameplay enjoyable and makes or breaks a trainer game.

So would recommend putting the main story on hold and to focus writing/characterization on the girls you're training. Their place in the main plot is already very clear - they're slaves, they're not slutty/obedient enough, the king gave them to you to fix that cause he wants to whore them later. Clear as day. So you can go from there, establish them as deep and detailed characters and build their dialogue from there. Use them to perfect your core gameplay loop. Once you're happy with their base training content you can go back to the main story and introduce additional characters into your bedroom/dungeon.

Maaaan...

First of all. Thank you so much for this feedback.
Really...Spending so much time on it, knowing it's far from perfect, I'm so grateful that you took some time to write that.
Thanks !

- The initial left/right is not so random, right is the answer. I added some dialogues to tell the player where to go but maybe have to work that as you stated.
- For the animations I agree also, I'll work on that.
- About the cage, the girl in there is "happy" to be there but I understand what you said.

To be honest I'm not sure releasing this game so soon was a good idea.
I wanted to give a first release with more than 1 sex scene...but I may have been too optimistic.

I needed that kind of comment to be sure that I wasn't wasting my time.

And as you recomend at the end, writing/characterization is lacking atm.

Thank you SO MUCH for your comment.

 

[JimmyJazz69]

Very impressive for a v0.1, *and* a first effort from the dev! Already with music, sounds and animations. I like the setup and the simple but effective mechanics. Can't wait for the next update. This will go to my "watch" list, for sure!

 

[MrJak]

Very impressive for a v0.1, *and* a first effort from the dev! Already with music, sounds and animations. I like the setup and the simple but effective mechanics. Can't wait for the next update. This will go to my "watch" list, for sure!

Thanks a lot

 

[NovusOperandi]

Interesting narrative set-up. And I like the promo art.

 

[DavyDaoist]

Will there be spanking ?

 

[GuybrushPeepwood]

I like the concept, but right now the game is lacking in too many ways to be enjoyable.
- visuals are alright, not top-tier, but servicable.
- story setup is alright, it gets the job done without being drawn out and boring. That's all that's really needed for me.
- why prompt the player for input if there's no choice ('go to the castle' etc.), it's always annoying.
- animations need a lot of work, right now they're too fast and choppy. IMO no animations is better than bad animations.
- the kinky scenes are not erotic in any way. It gets into the action too quickly and then ends too abruptly as well, there needs to be some build up, kinky talk, humiliation, maybe some proper 'training' of submissive behaviour first, etc. etc. It all feels very rushed and that makes it impossible to enjoy.
- get to know the chatacters at least a little bit before jumping straight into action. Right now all the girls are completely generic and forgettable, because we don't get to spend any time with them at all.

I apologize if I sound rude, in no way do I want to discourage you from continuing, or discredit the work you already put in. On the contrary, I'd love to try this game once it's got some more polish and content, I'll keep an eye on it.

 

[Chimp :D]

missing trainer tag?

 

[Oldschooler]

Ran through. Enjoyed, its a good start.
To make the scenes meaningful the characters need development. Its about the "why". If you build a good story around each slave, the scenes will jump off the screen.

think about a generic scene, the plot you built is what makes it:
Brother/sister, mother./son, blackmail, forceful, submission etc. its the same scene, the dialogue/plot is the only thing different to make it any one of those scenarios (and many more). Make those stories brilliant.
And with any game/choice pieces,,, make it feel like the player has earned something. There needs to be a clear line between what you get or dont get when make choices or score well/poorly in a game. if the result is obscured, then the choice/game feels meaningless whether it is or not.

Most importantly, figure out how you want the player to feel through the game and at certain points. make that the outline you tie the story line to.
The player will be fearful then proud they came into their own. (Over arching plot) Along the way there will sub plots where they feel frustrated then relieved, believe failure is imminent then triumph, etc. This roller coaster is the one people are going to love or get bored with.
Pacing - One other big issue i see with many of these games in dev is pacing. They are too slow, almost never seen one go to fast. Keep it moving, keep the roller coaster going. The pacing in your first part seemed good. Dont slow it down.

 

[sidneyae]

Cant wait for android port Bookmarked!

 

[Aground9437]

Will there be spanking ?

Yes,for people who ask to much Questions.

 

[Aground9437]

Will there be spanking ?

Yes,for people who ask to much questions.

 

[Cabin]

dev renders look really good for your first try
but try to make the mc face a little more manly
he looks kinda like a femboy
anyways following thread

 

[troublex2]

is the dev still working on this, the only post on his patreon is the initial release.

 

[docmib8]

Just tried it... very promising game !
I hope it won't get abandoned 'cause I might become Patreon for that kind of stuff...

 

[r3dSk0rp10n]

I hope it won't get abandoned

no message on this thread from the dev since 1st of march, not even a single update on patreon about the game, time to move on and forget about it as the dev did the same 7 months ago.