- Thread starter JimPanse
- Start date
- Dec 8, 2021
- 108
- 65
Some pages just aren't clear enough if there is incest in it or if the story revolves around interest. Just cause it has a patch or not doesn't fully fix the issue. I have read a few where incest was entirely optional and didn't control the story PLUS were good. So what am I doing here? Trying to expand on the VN's I read and find more great stories, duh.
- Apr 25, 2021
- 143
- 347
Just started Chapter seven when the police show up on his aunt's doorstep. A question for the Dev. IS THE MC A TOTAL FUCKING MORON? He lives with a successful LAWYER! The police ask him to go to the station with them and he complies, even though the female officer is belligerent, they take him to an INTEROGATION room. Come on! Call your damn lawyer dumbass!
relax dude. fap game developers are not famos for writing skills and telling a story. otherwise they would be authors. i think most of them are not even adults. the cookie cutter: ninja teenage hero, super-agent with superpower, father dead, sleep rape, wins all hearts because he says corny compliments, plugging foot fetish even when people hate it, but it's good for milking and delay, never working but rich, works for them.
i browse through all cg's and check the cringe level. most games i never play.
- Apr 24, 2020
- 22
- 39
Okay quick question.. according to tag's or lack of certain tag's there is no vaginal sex and the game is already chapter 7. So the actual question is.. Is there no actual sex in the game?
Don't forget handjob and titjob with footjob there.
I can't remember from before but this chap has a vaginal sex scene if you allow it.
- Apr 24, 2020
- 22
- 39
Okay thanks. Another question or maybe just thinking out loud... Chapter 7 with such a small game?? Am I missing something?
- Feb 20, 2021
- 2,809
- 4,380
No, chapters are just tiny. They are basically calling chapters what are actually pages. Would be closer to still first chapter of a normal AVN. And while there is sex, it is with chicks that don't matter. No family loving yet. Game really needs a slutty sister to jump on MCs dick fast.
Hopefully the blonde who was a bitch to him at first. She's hot. Not into that MILF shit, a MILF is probably younger than me.No, chapters are just tiny. They are basically calling chapters what are actually pages. Would be closer to still first chapter of a normal AVN. And while there is sex, it is with chicks that don't matter. No family loving yet. Game really needs a slutty sister to jump on MCs dick fast.
It's funny that the game asks you if you are comfortable giving your aunt a hug or not after not seeing her for a long time, but doesn't ask you whether you are are comfortable letting someone you just met suck your dick. Complete pepega
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I also found it funny that the aunt warned you she's cougar... I can't remember if that was before or after the bj but if it was after it's kinda funny.
- Nov 22, 2018
- 611
- 700
So I just read Chapters 1-3, and... I like it so far. There are, however, some glaring issues. I'll probably read the remaining chapters later, but in the meantime, this is what I found:
First of all, this is in need of a proofread. The main thing I noticed was commas missing in places like: "What the hell was that, MC?" If you address the person you're talking to in a sentence, you put a comma in front of it and behind it, unless there's already a period (or question mark, like in the example I gave). Also, nicknames like "Sweetie" or "Princess" should be capitalized.
Tenses are sometimes messed up, too. For example this line in Chapter 2: "So you are the mysterious MC that Nina talks about non-stop since a week." should be "So you are the mysterious MC that Nina's been talking about nonstop for a week." And, yes, nonstop is indeed written without a hyphen (had to look that one up).
Oh, and since I'm telling this pretty much every dev: "Ok" is not a word. "Okay" is. And pretty often, there's a comma behind it.
Secondly. Options are nice. You can spy on Lily in the shower, bury your face in Hitomi's crotch during the pool scene, touch Nina's boobs when you put her to bed. And you can decide against doing those things. The problem is, besides not showing the MC doing those things, the game still seems to think he did. I'm doing a playthrough avoiding these options whenever I can, and the MC and the other characters constantly reminded me that I did things I didn't do.
On the example of Lily's shower scene: The next morning in the shower, MC remembers watching her and uses her (and Megan, but mostly her) to jerk off, making a comment about it afterwards as well. Then, when Lily finds his sperm in the shower she says she saw him spying on her. And that night when she comes to him drunk, she tells him she saw him. None of which should be possible.
In the same way, when Nina talks to MC about how she doesn't think she's girlfriend material, you can either tell her she is perfect GF material and cute, or you can just wave her off. But no matter which you pick, seven lines after your response, she'll ask you to confirm your positive answer. This piece of software somehow has an even worse shortterm memory than me!
And to finish this point: All those choices allow you to gather points for the girls they're about. But in the whole script so far, the only time these points have mattered was in Chapter 1, when the dialogue changed based on whether or not you have collected the one available point for Lily. Why give us choices at all if they don't matter and the game essentially forgets about them ten seconds later?
This is one I don't think I've ever complained about. I've noticed a couple times that the renders don't quite fit what's happening. When Nina leaves to see Hitomi and just walks past Megan and the MC, even after we read that she left, she's still visible for the rest of their interaction. And later, when Lily asks to sleep in the MC's bed, he already has his arms around her before she asks him to hold her.
It also seems like Megan's model is constantly grainy, while I've noticed no such thing for the other characters.
There's a little error in the scene where Lily and MC wake up together; an undefined variable in an if statement.
First of all, this is in need of a proofread. The main thing I noticed was commas missing in places like: "What the hell was that, MC?" If you address the person you're talking to in a sentence, you put a comma in front of it and behind it, unless there's already a period (or question mark, like in the example I gave). Also, nicknames like "Sweetie" or "Princess" should be capitalized.
Tenses are sometimes messed up, too. For example this line in Chapter 2: "So you are the mysterious MC that Nina talks about non-stop since a week." should be "So you are the mysterious MC that Nina's been talking about nonstop for a week." And, yes, nonstop is indeed written without a hyphen (had to look that one up).
Oh, and since I'm telling this pretty much every dev: "Ok" is not a word. "Okay" is. And pretty often, there's a comma behind it.
Secondly. Options are nice. You can spy on Lily in the shower, bury your face in Hitomi's crotch during the pool scene, touch Nina's boobs when you put her to bed. And you can decide against doing those things. The problem is, besides not showing the MC doing those things, the game still seems to think he did. I'm doing a playthrough avoiding these options whenever I can, and the MC and the other characters constantly reminded me that I did things I didn't do.
On the example of Lily's shower scene: The next morning in the shower, MC remembers watching her and uses her (and Megan, but mostly her) to jerk off, making a comment about it afterwards as well. Then, when Lily finds his sperm in the shower she says she saw him spying on her. And that night when she comes to him drunk, she tells him she saw him. None of which should be possible.
In the same way, when Nina talks to MC about how she doesn't think she's girlfriend material, you can either tell her she is perfect GF material and cute, or you can just wave her off. But no matter which you pick, seven lines after your response, she'll ask you to confirm your positive answer. This piece of software somehow has an even worse shortterm memory than me!
And to finish this point: All those choices allow you to gather points for the girls they're about. But in the whole script so far, the only time these points have mattered was in Chapter 1, when the dialogue changed based on whether or not you have collected the one available point for Lily. Why give us choices at all if they don't matter and the game essentially forgets about them ten seconds later?
This is one I don't think I've ever complained about. I've noticed a couple times that the renders don't quite fit what's happening. When Nina leaves to see Hitomi and just walks past Megan and the MC, even after we read that she left, she's still visible for the rest of their interaction. And later, when Lily asks to sleep in the MC's bed, he already has his arms around her before she asks him to hold her.
It also seems like Megan's model is constantly grainy, while I've noticed no such thing for the other characters.
There's a little error in the scene where Lily and MC wake up together; an undefined variable in an if statement.
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- Apr 29, 2020
- 803
- 1,906
Game is nice but WTF can't we refuse any of the side characters, It completely ruins the gameplay for me. Put a damn kinetic novel tag to avoid duping people to try your game.
- Sep 20, 2021
- 27
- 75
Hey guys just wanted to say something so that you all are aware. I actually am in the dev's Discord and there seems to be some channels that were originally titled in a foreign language. So in terms of the script, the spelling, the grammar and overall way the dialogue is in the game you should all be aware that English is not their primary language.
Not to give the Dev any passes or anything their game should be criticized fairly as all games should on this site. But I think if you guys are aware of this, then I think the same comments that keep appearing about some of the wonky things the MC says and the way and manor the dialogue is written will not continue to be posted as frequently.
This is the Dev's first game, and down the road they will probably fix the script or have someone proof read it for them and improve it. We all got to remember these are adult or porn games so things that define games here are Models, overall story, originality, sexual content, and gameplay. Although script is important yes, that is by far the easiest thing to improve on and correct without having to change the entire direction and development of the game itself. I hear you all out with your concerns but I hope this message made things a little bit more clear for the lot of you that have critiques about the writing
Not to give the Dev any passes or anything their game should be criticized fairly as all games should on this site. But I think if you guys are aware of this, then I think the same comments that keep appearing about some of the wonky things the MC says and the way and manor the dialogue is written will not continue to be posted as frequently.
This is the Dev's first game, and down the road they will probably fix the script or have someone proof read it for them and improve it. We all got to remember these are adult or porn games so things that define games here are Models, overall story, originality, sexual content, and gameplay. Although script is important yes, that is by far the easiest thing to improve on and correct without having to change the entire direction and development of the game itself. I hear you all out with your concerns but I hope this message made things a little bit more clear for the lot of you that have critiques about the writing