oh fuck, NintenDOM isn't gonna be pleased about this at all
but while they'll be highly-displeased, my boner is really happy to see this waifue tresure-trove being made into a porn-game
This is really interesting I did not expect to see a waifu war started in the comments of this forum.
I would also like to add that if the dev needs help with story elements he could always take advice from the community I am sure there are some really passionate people who have some good stories they could give for their favorite characters.
some comments about the plot and characters. Granted this is entirely your choice because admitingly some of these suggestions are pretty extreme.
1.minor detail but Flayn, if I recall correctly, kinda sounds like she speaks Shakespearean English but without using the "thy, thou," and other archaic pronouns. honestly switching up some of her dialogue with a few word choices that gives off that "normal people usually don't talk like this" vibe but that's just me.
2. this one is kinda big but I feel like Byleth is pretty out of character. Cannonically she is more of quiet and silent type who even has been noted of not expressing much. it's actually kind of a big point in their personality, or lacktherof. though I'm kinda torn because I kinda like Byleth's personality depicted in the VN. honestly it could go either way but if I had to rewrite it a bit, make her dialogue less colorful, straightforward, and expressionless (unless you're dicking her of course) perhaps you can push comedy in that way of her basically saying ridiculous things but with a straight and serious face.
3. the "green haired gang" would more accurately be referred to as "the church of Seiros" or "the church" (which would include Shamir and Catherine) as they are sort of a faction that can be part of your side or not in the actual game.
4. Bernedetta has a severe persecution complex. when you bump in to her, she'd probably apologize, panic thinking you hate her or something, and then run off crying that she's going to get killed. an interesting thing that does happen with her is that in her support conversations with Felix, Felix approaches her asking if this item was her's, she disarms him, flips him, and runs off. that could be something you can reference as a random event.
5. when Rhea warns you about Edelgard, I feel like it probably would be better to be more vague about it that "something's kind off like she's hiding something." as
not to mention the Church mediating the balance of power like in real life wasn't an issue brought up in the original game.
6. there should probably be more locations to visit that may be more exclusive to certain characters i.e. the dorms (Bernedetta), the stables (Marianne), or even the spa and or courtyard.
7. Mercedes and Annette would probably be together more often as they are best friends. really minor detail frankly.
8. correct me if I'm wrong but I'm fairly certain female soldiers and knights were common in universe. I mean Catherine is one of the greatest warriors and she's a woman. again really minor detail and I honestly have no alternative suggestions for that.
9. the confessional scene with Marianne probably makes more sense if it was kinda blacked out because one would assume that a confession is in a small room with neither seeing the other.
some suggestions:
1.according to a quick search regarding Petra's speech patterns "
Just mix up the modals and verb forms. She also uses we as her first person pronoun sometimes. i.e. "The center is in risk of being taken! We must be running to protect it!"
2.it'd be neato to add in the dlc characters Constance and Hapi, especially with Constance where you can have scenes that change depending on if she's exposed to the sun or not.
3. you can supplement some of the backgrounds with using the newer Fire emblem backgrounds (i.e. Fates, Awakening, and Shadows) as to help curb some of the backgrounds that are a bit egregious. alternatively if you have skyrim, those can work out for some of the interior angles of a castle (or through some of the modded buildings).
4. in the part where you can choose where to spend after class, you can just show the map of the monastery and have the various locations you want to go to clickable,
I did and I always got the rebuttal ready.
- In maddening mode where having a crest is more of a deal breaker than one who doesn't and not having a great strength growth means that she ain't gonna be killing as much even if you give her the Inexhaustible.
- Leonie is a bitch. She treats Byleth like shit unpromoted when you pick the Golden Deer house. She cries about her own misery when Byleth's despair is more important. She treats Marianne like shit making Marianne's problems about her and takes a whole support just to apologize to her.
- She's not broke. Her support with Raphael confirms that her entire village sent her to the monastery and her dad was supportive. But she proceeds to literally follow your dad every chance she gets instead of actually go to the monastery for what she was supposed to do. How can she act like Byleth doesn't care for Jeralt when she won't even acknowledge her own father who helped her get into the academy in the first place?
- Leonie going broke is self inflicted. She wanted to be like Jeralt? Then she can pay his debt that Alois dumps on her. If she's not even paired with Felix in the AM ending, she's going to rack up a huge debt and end up an alcoholic. The fact she needs someone to even keep her in check with the alcohol says a lot of how irresponsible she is.
- Nothing is worse than going for Leonie in the Goddess Tower and how she can't go an entire conversation comparing Byleth to Jeralt. And then bringing up Jeralt again during the proposal and then deciding not to help Byleth with his job and do her own thing because she "can't do politics" even though with every other noble guy she can marry, she has no problem working politics with them.
If this was post timeskip Leonie, at least she would be nice to look at and jack off to. With her being discount Chie, it's a huge nope. Even Edelgard has better appeal than her...which is her forehead but herr hentai website means we gotta talk about the goods.
-Everybody loves Byleth from the start, he/she does something, everybody is tops with it, Leonie treats us like a rival, a nice girl with everyone but jealous of us, because we have Jerald as a faher and teacher. That´s a complex character more that other characters, she is not below, but wants to compete side by side.
-Of cource the entire village send her to the monastery, everybody in the village like her, she is a good/hardworking girl , but she wants to repay the favor and she does eventually as a mercenary. A drinking problem, she is a mercenary, the blade breaker, so irresponsable, that girl is totally corrupted.
- Marianne is kind of weird with everyone. Is not Leonie fault.
-So, nobody cares about my father anymore, he died, forget about it, forget about the relashionship. Leonie cares!.
This is really interesting I did not expect to see a waifu war started in the comments of this forum.
I would also like to add that if the dev needs help with story elements he could always take advice from the community I am sure there are some really passionate people who have some good stories they could give for their favorite characters.
-Everybody loves Byleth from the start, he/she does something, everybody is tops with it, Leonie treats us like a rival, a nice girl with everyone but jealous of us, because we have Jerald as a faher and teacher. That´s a complex character more that other characters, she is not below, but wants to compety side by side.
-Of cource the entire village send her to the monastery, everybody in the village like her, she is a good/hardworking girl , but she wants to repay the favor and she does eventually as a mercenary. A drinking problem, she is a mercenary, the blade breaker, so irresponsable, that girl is totally corrupted.
- Marianne is kind of weird why everyone. Is not Leonie fault.
-So, nobody cares about my father anymore, he died, forget about it, forget about the relashionship. Leonie cares!.
-You do realize that the majority of the characters can do Flier with Avoid+ 10, Weapons Avoidance + 10 and Alert Stance+ and be able to achieve the same thing in a faster time? Petra is able to do this better because her crit rate is way higher. This is not exclusive to Leonie. It takes half an hour for her to solo a map because her attack isn't all that great and has to rely on the crit weapons. Petra has this problem too but she has a way higher chance of getting a crit rate. If anything, Hilda would be able to do this better simply because she has a higher attack.
- Byleth isn't loved by everyone as we see from Hubert. Leonie insults Byleth and says she knows Jeralt better than Byleth which isn't what a rival does. It's what an obsessed stalker does. If Leonie was written as a forgotten childhood friend that would be one thing, but she only met Jeralt once in her life and suddenly she knows everything about him while ignoring that her own dad is the only reason she's able to do everything.
- Everyone liked her in the village but its amazing how little she talks about giving back to said village and is more obsessed with Jeralt. Why does every chapter have her looking for Jeralt and attempting to corner him? Why do most correct answers for Leonie result in Byleth having to look like an idiot when it concerns Jeralt for her affection points to go up? Why does tea time have to result in a Jeralt conversation?
- Shamir is a mercenary too and she's more responsible than Leonie that she has to call her out on Leonie aiming her bow at others and almost killing them. "But Jeralt did that to me". Bruh, not everything Jeralt does is good. Stop acting like he's the only one you remember being taught by.
- Insulting Marianne. Imagine that.
Ah, yes, the game we all wanted but dared not ask Nintendo for. This will be like the 219th game in my Ren'Py folder, but the first in I dunno how long I'll actually play.
Have you considered getting in touch with
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And if you need a good writer, well, I can't promise I have a grasp on the characters' voices, but neither do I charge any money. Hit up my PMs.
How dare you insult best girl. If everyone thought that you were a monster that would kill them at any moment. Treating you horribly though you had no choice in the matter. You too would have persecution delusion and have a troubled life and psyche. The thing is that Marianne overcomes these hardships (unlike Bernie who only does so in 2 of her endings) and even grows in her endings.
How dare you insult best girl. If everyone thought that you were a monster that would kill them at any moment. Treating you horribly though you had no choice in the matter. You too would have persecution delusion and have a troubled life and psyche. The thing is that Marianne overcomes these hardships (unlike Bernie who only does so in 2 of her endings) and even grows in her endings.
To be fair, if the Prologue alone already has this fairly good amount of content, i`m expecting the FULL game to be very packed.
Now, i find a small bug/typo, when i started Day 4, it then says Day 3.
It didn`t affect gameplay as far as i know, but it might be worth informing.
Also, for a while, i have been thinking to try doing one game like this, so i might ask...
Where do you get your Koikatsu models? Or do you made them yourself?
Finally, good luck with your game!
Wonder how long it would take the next (public) build you release here?
Edit: Oh, and i really hope to see Sothis implemented somehow...
I recently finished the status screen to show affection points for the next version, along with a few more stories and events. I was thinking about uploading it now but nah, let's wait a week. By the time I upload that, there should be at least one story for each of the characters (hopefully). After that, I think i'll just focus on just one damn character at a time but I don't know yet. It'll depend on my mood. Also, I originally wanted a new "story event" every day but I think I'll start making them every three days or so... Writing those types of events are kind of boring for me since I could use that dialog for character stories... Also, I don't want to start looping the days and turn this into a farm fest for affection. I want to try and make every day have some meaning... with something new happening every day (whether through side events or story events) I also want the game to have an ending, eventually, but I also want you to be able to get all the events if you pay attention enough and manage the affection points.
I really want to hire an animator to make the sex scenes more lively but don't feel like paying for one at the moment. That might be something I look into for the future if this game becomes profitable for me (Right now, this game is nothing more than a hobby). Wouldn't mind polishing some of the older scenes either from a good animator either.
From the numerous messages I've been getting here and on itch, I'm sorry if I couldn't capture your character correctly. A lot of the writing and dialog from this game came from my own personal thoughts on the characters. I didn't take it too seriously tbh. This was just a fun thing for me to kill some time after I played through the game the first time (also, I wanted to try coding something).
I haven't seen every single support or event from the original game. There is a reason why I'm a little hesitant on writing some of the other characters that I haven't gotten to yet. I either don't know much about them, or they're kind of boring... (Mercedes, Dorothea, Annette, Petra... to name a few. Don't @ me bro). Again, I didn't really care to take this too seriously. I mean, the plot is pretty silly, don't you think? Landlady's and roommates are pretty weird. I'm well aware that some characters are out-of-character too but I do this mainly because I think it'll make them more interesting and easier to write. Flayn and Byleth are obvious examples of this. Several people were offended by having them out of character...
Honestly, I've only completed one and a half of the routes (try to guess which route) in the game. I really don't have that much free time... I work a full-time job and do this as a side project. The game was originally meant to be a normal VN where you go from point A to point B, just like a fan fiction game. But then I started taking your suggestions and downloading other popular games from f95... and I was like, wow... this game can be so much better.... Anyway, appreciate your support... Look forward to the next update...
