- Jul 12, 2021
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- Thread starter ViccieBros
- Start date
Aseratrix
Engaged Member
- Dec 16, 2019
- 2,232
- 4,940
Once again I chime in, the update is awesome, this is shaping up to be a very good game!
Some honest feedback on the game; I really want it to be better:
- The game engine has weird issues; I'd advise you to consider switching to Ren'Py or try to mitigate the following issues
- only allows clicking instead of enter when showing pics
- the sound sliders behave in weird ways (only grabbable at the far end)
- the engine crashes if you manually advance text too fast
- you're only allowed to save when dialogue is displayed; or if there is another shortcut to save, it is poorly explained
- The Renders are low to medium quality; which isn't necessarily an issue if the story, characters, writing, setting or scenes can compensate
- However, some of the character expressions border on the comical which in combination with the sounds devalue the corresponding scenes
- The dialogue is poorly written at times, has loads of spelling errors and doesn't feel natural most of the time, which reflects badly onto the characters.
- The main MC is presented as a cocky, charming loser (I guess charming here should mean good-looking since he's just an ass - no charm whatsoever) but immediately gives in whenever his girlfriend or boss are the slightest bit demanding
- This leads to an incredibly fast transition from "I've got my gf wrapped around my fingers" to "Whatever you want Miss(tress)" in less than a couple of scenes - which I personally dislike (though some like that ultra fast porn-logic)
- The chastity scene with the boss in particular are incredible, in that I don't believe any sane person would throw in the towel that easily even though they're blackmailed.
- Since we never get an indication the MC is in any shape sub inclined I find those transitions hard to believe
- The gf has a similar sudden personality change, but I find it more believable since it's made clear she's been fed up with MC and has been given coaching lessons by her boss friend
- Not much that I can say about the boss.
- All female characters don't have much of a character yet. They don't necessarily have to if you focus more on the sexy times and porn route; though I feel it enhances good games quite a bit if not every interaction revolves about the next sex scene.
- The main MC is presented as a cocky, charming loser (I guess charming here should mean good-looking since he's just an ass - no charm whatsoever) but immediately gives in whenever his girlfriend or boss are the slightest bit demanding
- The gameplay, in short, is terrible
- Firstly, the game severely lacks direction. Add to that the point and click mechanics of hunting insignificant objects for no stated reason (e.g. clicking on the phone to call the boss friend as the gf without giving an indication we even switched characters, or pixel hunting certain books in the boss' office in the bookshelf for no particular reason) and it makes the game tedious and frustrating.
- Please game dev, ask yourself why you add a game mechanic to your game. What does it offer the player? Why is it so important for the story / gameplay / world building ... ? What are the pitfalls for introducing this mechanic and what steps have you taken to make its integration work smoothly with the rest of the game and also players, that don't particularly enjoy this type of mechanic, so that game flow and enjoyment remain smooth?
- In my humble opinion the point and click mechanic only adds tedium. You could've used these scenes to do more characterization (which you've done in part with the books for the boss, but there's no reason this couldn't also be conveyed using common VN text) or hint at future plot points (see Chekhov's gun).
- For example, why not have the chastity cage already in the room and make the PC comment about it? Or more indicators that the boss works as a Domme? Or even some simple notes the PC stumbles upon but doesn't make sense of, that are actually the steps the boss plans to take to make the PC into a docile slave? Anything that justifies the inclusion of the point and click sections, so that players don't just perceive them as time wasters.
- Secondly, I don't see the point in introducing tons and tons of rooms to the game, most of which have no function yet nor indicate that there is an event for the player to progress the story.
- It's nice you have all these assets for your render app of choice, but they don't add anything to the game.
- Another minor issue: These rooms don't even seem connected. Again, not a huge issue. The "sun room" (whatever that's even supposed to mean) seemingly sits in an ocean of flowers with no connection back to the actual place.
- Thirdly, the minigames are conceptually good but suffer from the constant issue of having to sit through the poor quality (sound and visual-wise) 3 frame animations.
- Any individual animation is not the issue but the combined time wasted in having to look at them up to a dozen times.
- The later edging minigame suffers even more from that issue since you're likely to repeat the minigame multiple times to successfully complete it - at which point you're certainly fed up with the short animations.
- With that being said, I do like the concept of these minigames. I just wish they were less tedious to play through.
- Firstly, the game severely lacks direction. Add to that the point and click mechanics of hunting insignificant objects for no stated reason (e.g. clicking on the phone to call the boss friend as the gf without giving an indication we even switched characters, or pixel hunting certain books in the boss' office in the bookshelf for no particular reason) and it makes the game tedious and frustrating.
- Jul 12, 2021
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I was afraid of that. I did not see an executable , But my Visual Novel Maker offers an export to Mac function.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
- Jul 12, 2021
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I appreciate your honesty. But the only thing I can say to you. It is free... Maybe you could start your own Femdom game? Then you will have the possibility to make it as you like. Idea?? Regards ViccieBros
Huh. I guess that Patreon is just there for show. Who knew!
It's your baby and your time, I get it. Just - if you don't want feedback, or feedback from the non-paying, unwashed masses please just say so. Or... just leave the f95 forum?
Good talk.
- Jul 12, 2021
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No, not at all. This is not a fulltime job, or I would earn a great 20 cents per hour. It's just impossible to make the a perfect game. Yes, this is my first game and i have a lot to learn. But frankly this wasn't constructive criticism. That's okay. Everybody is entitled to have their own opinion.
Aseratrix
Engaged Member
- Dec 16, 2019
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Some good points here, and quite some work put into that critique. I only wish to add some thoughts to yours.
Some of your advice may require skills or time the dev might not [yet] have, so its moot. I take all new games with the understanding that they may become better as they work on it.
Also, the game - it seems to me - is set up primarily as a conduit for exploring the chosen adult theme, so the critique about story progression and nuance may miss the dev's own vision.
It is really hard [not impossible] to find a good balance between story and adult content, but if the dev never set out to write a good story, only a functional one, the critique that the story is "incredible" is also moot. Especially considering that for example submitting to authority, or being fearful of consequences [how effective a blackmail] is very variable from person to person. If I would not give in quite as easily in a situation, it does not mean that someone else wouldn't. In fact, you are supposed to build up a personality profile about a character based on THEIR behavior, which may be unpalatable, incompatible or incredible to you, but not universally so.
For example, there is nothing hindering a reader after witnessing the behavior of this character quickly letting themselves be bullied, that he is "secretly already submissive". There, problem of incredulity solved, with a bit of imaginative augmenting.
The author of a story is even free to make a "stupid" hero and has no obligation to create a character which satisfy some notion of an average or common human reaction.
This is not to say that I don't enjoy an immersive and really great plot, but not all games need to therefore be like that, and honestly when that happens in the field of gaming, let alone adult games, its an exception rather than the rule.
There are of course set-up tricks to avoid the usual criticism that the transition of the roles "make no sense", for example: make the narrative begin with the desired situation: instead of any allusion to a preparatory in-game narrative, just start the game with a short text introduction which sets up the desired relational dynamics from the start, so the "transition" doesn't require any "sense". The game could start with no problems from a point where he is already in blackmail, or accepting of the situation.
My only personal critique as of now is that the "edging minimage" is too long, especially since its easy to fail, and stroking a guy's cock repeatedly is not exactly too enticing [others might disagree].
- Jul 12, 2021
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See , that's another way of criticizing. Not that I can make the plot of the story different now. It is indeed balancing between a good construction of the story and the time people want to wait for some action. Originally I was also planning, to carry out the blackmail later. With more credibility. But then you get reactions, that people find it too long-winded.
The edge simulation can take a very long time if you are unlucky. Some practice, and you succeed in the 9 out of 10 times immediately to achieve your goal.
Regards,
ViccieBros
There is responsibility that comes with making money from something you do. At least that is the standard I'd hope everyone would hold themselves to. Agree to disagree.
Yeah, that was very much obvious. Which is why I offered my, at least the way I saw it, advice.
To remove any subtext - I'm insulted and curious. What would be constructive criticism for you? Tell me how I can communicate my concerns with you in such a way that you don't feel like I'm attacking your work without good reason or malicious intent.
Unjustly bashing your game was not my intent.
Or let me ask differently: What do you want to hear about? The superficial; like grammar and spelling errors?
That only works if you're of a more positive mindset. From my point of you: The moment you ask for money for something you better make sure that what you release is up to a certain quality. If your skills as a dev are lacking at that moment - that's on the dev. Which again, is why I raise my concerns with the understanding that the dev gets an idea of what they might want to focus and improve on.
The bitter truth to any aspiring smut VN creator is: We have plenty of options out there; and most of them are of equal or better quality than this game here.
You have to wonder how many of these games would ever gain some form of traction if pirate sites like these wouldn't even exist simply by virtue of them not being special or good enough to be shared by figurative word of mouth.
If the dev only wants to create games for fun or hone their skills I take (huge) issue with the fact that they're taking money, even if from their point of view the Patreon serves as a "tip-jar" or the like. If that is the case, at least communicate it that way.
That's a fair point and a lot of my criticism of the story is personal taste. I guess I did not make that distinction clear enough. I apologize.
My opinion is: I'd rather see this project move in a more complex, fulfilling direction rather than a collection of smut scenes with visual aid.
My objective advice is: If the latter is the goal (smut with visuals), the additional gameplay elements make less and less sense. They don't even affect the story yet. They feel more like they're there for the dev to experiment and try new game stuff, in which case I've given my opinion / advice on them.
It is very likely that my idealistic view of a smut game is entirely different to what many people here expect. When I look to releases from 2013 and before the VNs created in RenPy and other such VN making tools the genre has come a long way.
I just wish they'd also pick up the pace in comparison to actual games where the gameplay often takes the focus and isn't just an excuse to stretch the playtime (which some devs even use with malicious intent to encourage further payments).
I confidently suspect that the vast majority playing this game is not here for the point and click elements or the minigames. The meat of these smut stories remains the actual scenes which are broken up by the things you have to do to get to them.
Aseratrix
Engaged Member
- Dec 16, 2019
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This would only be true if you were able to access the game ONLY once you payed. The option to give monetary incentive for the dev is entirely optional. In this set-up its more like a way of expressing gratitude than like a regular monetary transaction. At least this is how I see it. You pay to express support [if you can], not for having access, which is a huge difference.
I look at it quite differently. I judge games not in comparison, because its not made by the same person/persons, and every dev is on a different stage of acquiring skills. My approach is to be supportive and forgiving, especially with devs creating in my dearest genre. I saw too many times to count, that even objective criticism which doesn't take into account that some dev's here are learning their craft while making a game simultaneously, and thus which compare it to creations showing years of experience, only discourages the fresh devs and may result in abandoned games. So, I try to not be too "autistically myopic" - not that I suggest you are - in my criticism. I wan't femdom devs to feel welcomed and in a community of peers when they come to this site.
Again, I beg to differ. Not in that there are no better games, but in that there is no need for new games in this area. And better by what metric? As someone who loves pure femdom, I gotta say this one is among the rarest on the site. Yes there are a couple of notable big-hitters, but every beginner dev can add value to this genre and again, with time, they may create a masterpiece. I believe in positive motivation 100% of the time.
I see this site as more than a mere "pirate site", its also a place where people of similar tastes can find each other and share, develop together. Its more akin to a game modding site, in that you give for free, but also gain recognition and potentially more patrons as well.
I reiterate: Patreon IS a tip-jar, you are not paying for anything unless you want to express gratitude. They are not taking money, you can play their games and not pay anything.
With your goal I wholeheartedly agree, but not with your method. Again: I believe your own goal is served more via giving encouragement and a sense of belonging to a sympathetic community.
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I'm happy to see optimism hasn't died for you or others.
I've played my load of VNs by now and I've just grown more and more tired over time. If you play enough, which I'm sure you did as well, you see the same patterns, models, scenes and gameplay aspects emerge again and again. Many try to copy or be inspired by the big ones while their copies offer little in terms of actual improvement or analysis why something works. It's that lack of trying or care that irks me.
You certainly have a point with femdom being very lackluster in representation; but I take quality over quantity in this regard.
There are quite a couple of badly made femdom RPGM games - RPGM being an engine I'm fairly familiar with - whose only saving grace is its genre.
And I'm just tired of that excuse; most of them even lack a certain charm that can be their saving grace. They just exist so people can get their smut stories out there, but they don't care for the medium as such nor try to reflect or improve on their work. They don't care about the benefits and detriments of the RPGM and its potential; I suppose most of them just use it because of the ease of use. And it is clunky and offers little benefit to the user.
Frankly, I could go without such games; the pain of using the RPGM for story driven games just reflects badly on the game and in extension genre itself.
"Better" in the objective sense that a game doesn't come across as the work of a layman, that didn't even bother to spellcheck and grammar check, that forgot to actually communicate how to progress in the game or explain its mechanics and that didn't think about what they want to achieve with their game.
It comes across as someone fooling around with the bare minimum and having the audacity to get payed for it. Which is my core issue. That perception may be faulty, but you can't expect everyone to take a second look. First impressions are important.
Just compare the first release of Karlsson's Gambit which we're both very fond of and compare it to this game's first release.
The former was just as well the work of a lay(wo)man, but it immediately oozed charm, care and a vision. Tess clearly cares and it reflects in her work.
This game however, still has plenty of mechanics and elements hinted at, that aren't even used yet nor does it bother to explain much to the player. I've not even mentioned the whole player needs / stats which serve no purpose so far. That is not to say Viccie doesn't care - they're responding to lots of people here afterall - but it is not clear from playing the game.
I also believe every dev adds value in that every representative of a certain genre will inevitably reflect on the genre itself.
If I had given up on this game I wouldn't have bothered to even give feedback. I want this game to succeed. I want things to improve. I want these games in general to be better so that they convince more people to give them a try.
Heck, if the dev tells me how I can improve my feedback I certainly aim to provide it.
Yeah, I don't buy that romantisized view, but this site sure helps get the word out.
The mere existance of it irks me. It changes my perception on this work as described before. I get it's not a deal for you and probably others, but it is for me. I'm sorry - we have to agree to disagree.
The game ends after the second minigame. What did you do before?
Aseratrix
Engaged Member
- Dec 16, 2019
- 2,232
- 4,940
Let's just agree to disagree.
Please dev, don't take negative comments to heart. Do what you do, and there will be many who will appreciate it.
noway1
Member
- Nov 27, 2019
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- 898
Yes, there are things that can be made better. Especially a slower story progression.
Nevertheless, it is so good that I will definitely play each release instantly.
Nevertheless, it is so good that I will definitely play each release instantly.
Yeah, there's something weird happening here.
I had to randomly roam into all the different room and I believe I had to click on the bathroom again for the game to proceed. Could also be it was the bedroom; at least the next scene takes place on the bed.