Toxic Attraction DonSilver #Cuckold 8muses forum

[Verisimilinude]

Grazie, both. Guess I'm showing my age. I thought it was an author, hence the DS copying their style.

 

[Chillie_Willie]

Don has relegated Dan to lower tier status. Whether Don was influenced by his paid simps or Dan reminds him of a past life, Dan has become the butt of many jokes and a kicking post. Don’s intros state each character was progressing except poor Dan. Unless everything in the beginning was an illusion, no man would go from confident individual to absolute buffoon in the timeframe of this story. It’s like what we are experiencing is not a man, but a man-child. A man will fight for himself and his family. He’s not laying down like a dog, even if it’s his last dying breath. Dan had every reason and opportunity in the world to beat Lester into a bloody pulp, but chose each time to hold back. Now it’s reached a point where Lester is not afraid of him anymore.

Just my thought I find interesting. Why would Dan want to be away from his family constantly? They have enough money for her to travel. Why is it only Sarah not the kids too when visiting Chicago. I would want to be around my emotional support system. I work with men who do travel out of town for work for week(s) at a time, but when off shift they immediately go home to spend time with friends, family and their home. When their family (and I said family not just wife) do come near the job site, they treat it like vacation. Did Sarah have poor Dan under her thumb at home and this was his opportunity to gain some freedom? It’s hard to be sympathetic to his plight.

 

[Verisimilinude]

Don has relegated Dan to lower tier status. Whether Don was influenced by his paid simps or Dan reminds him of a past life, Dan has become the butt of many jokes and a kicking post. Don’s intros state each character was progressing except poor Dan. Unless everything in the beginning was an illusion, no man would go from confident individual to absolute buffoon in the timeframe of this story. It’s like what we are experiencing is not a man, but a man-child. A man will fight for himself and his family. He’s not laying down like a dog, even if it’s his last dying breath. Dan had every reason and opportunity in the world to beat Lester into a bloody pulp, but chose each time to hold back. Now it’s reached a point where Lester is not afraid of him anymore.

Just my thought I find interesting. Why would Dan want to be away from his family constantly? They have enough money for her to travel. Why is it only Sarah not the kids too when visiting Chicago. I would want to be around my emotional support system. I work with men who do travel out of town for work for week(s) at a time, but when off shift they immediately go home to spend time with friends, family and their home. When their family (and I said family not just wife) do come near the job site, they treat it like vacation. Did Sarah have poor Dan under her thumb at home and this was his opportunity to gain some freedom? It’s hard to be sympathetic to his plight.

I'm sure it was a situation of how do I create a premise that makes the story I want to tell plausible. As a writer you have to create or leave vague certain things in order to not paint yourself into a corner. The job/room-mate/money situation has created some inconsistencies and if I'm being honest I've sort of handwaved them - bc I don't give a shit about Dan as a character. I don't know maybe that's how DS wants us to feel about Dan.

But to add to your line of critical thinking - wtf is Dan doing when Sarah isn't in Chicago? He doesn't leave the apartment except for work, hasn't made any friends or networked with anyone in Chicago, not even a casual drinking buddy? And why haven't we seen him have a show down at the apartment with Lester, about backing off, or leaving his wife alone when Sarah wasn't there? Yes devils bargain, but prior to that the first few times Lester didn't respect the rules with Sarah - Dan should have got in his grill about it - when his mind wasn't clouded with lust.

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

Im still curious to see if Don will use the girls as a tool for Lester to complete her seduction. Except for the small blurb about Lester finding someone to take the kids, I don’t see Sarah leaving her kids willingly for Lester so maybe he needs an alternate plan. As Sarah’s excitement wanes for a return to Chicago since her family and new love life is in Middleton, I can see the scenario where Lester rents the basement from Sarah to help her out financially. This will give Lester an opportunity to interact with the girls, ride share with Sarah and the girls to school and work, and manipulate the girls to help in his plan to complete his takeover of Sarah. “Uncle” Lester will then become a comfortable fixture inside the house while keeping Dan’s wife and side of the bed warm at night.

We have not heard from The Lincoln Group in this chapter which is surprising. Since Lester is already aware of their capability and shady dealings, I assume Lester has planned for their imminent attack or the possibility Dan will leak his information to them. Which will make an interesting scenario if TLG tracked the hacker back to Dan’s laptop on purpose. Lester know they will grab Dan for interrogation and immediately gives up his name. He will expect Byron will want Sarah in exchange for his freedom or life. The reason for all this to prove to Sarah Dan is a weak pathetic man who will pimp out Sarah to save Dan‘s life.

Dan is clueless making bad decisions one right after another, chasing half ass leads and not seeing his wife is falling for Lester. Dan will spill the beans to Sarah about what he and TLG/Byron bargained while pinching the bridge of his nose. Dan says they can finally be free from Lester and be a family again. Will Sarah want to leave the security, freedom and excitement big, strong Lester provides her? Will the pinching of his nose remind Sarah the night with Lester on Dan’s futon and she finally sees Dan as the weak, pathetic man she coddled, cared and made happy for their entire marriage?

“The stupidly feckless way he would pinch the bridge of his nose because he couldn’t handle something“.

Which I feel was part of Lester’s master plan to have Sarah betray her husband once she she’s the “truth”. With her assistance they will team up to take down TLG and make Dan the cuck he deserves to be. Dan will be banished to the basement and sleep on his futon reeking of Lester and Sarah’s sweat and sex.

Some of this could be affected if Lizzie gets reintroduced into the story. How will Lester or Sarah react? Since Dan calls her a smoke show, how will he react when he sees her again? Will Dan and her hook up? Or is Lizzie still part of Lester’s master plan to help seduce Sarah

What I see now, after reading this chapter several times is that Lester will find out that Dan is trying to ruin him, I hope through Sarah, and he finds out about his searches for Lizzie. Lester contacts Lizzie and says that this guy is looking for her and if she will do one thing and onlu one thing, that he will let her go completely and forever, along with a fat paycheck. She wants to know what, he tells her to meet with Dan and don't give him any info, but commiserate with him, then seduce him, if she has to tell him that if wants any info from her, its only after a roll in the hay. Absolutely, though, Lester tells her that she needs to be fucking Dan at his apartment at this specific time. She will know when it happens, but when everything erupts, she can skedaddle and Lester will give her an envelope with a lot of untraceable cash in it and wish her a good life. Then he plans out the day and time and lets Sarah know that he has to get back to Chicago this weekend, so if she can get a sitter, he could drive her there and surprise Dan. Sarah asks why would he want to do that for Dan? He says, Fuck Dan, this is for you. I may hate him, but you love him and haven't seen him in awhile and even I can tell that you miss him. She thanks Lester and takes him up on the offer. They arrive in Chicago and get to the apartment to find Dan fucking the shit out of Lizzie. Sarah's anger goes sky high as we all know she is very jealous of Lizzie, Lester gets Lizzie out of the apartment, in order to give Sarah and Dan some time alone (to argue). Sarah's heart breaks as Dan tries any excuse he can and then starts saying Lester set him up. She doesn't believe him and screams for him to get the hell out of this apartment now. He claims it is his apartment and she coldly says, It is LESTER's apartment that he has so graciously allowed Dan to stay in with no other rent than the payment of fucking YOUR wife, far better than her husband ever has! GET OUT, NOW!!! Lester sits in his SUV and watches a pissed off Dan leaving, holding a handful of briefcase, laptop, and some clothes in his hands. He throws it in his car and peels out from the parking lot. Lester smiles and says, "Gotcha ya fucker!" He returns to the apartment to console and comfort Sarah and they fuck all weekend.

Just my opinion, I am not trying to offend people with writing anything or to fight with people, just giving an opinion and I am a writer/filmmaker so it is hard for me to just simply say something when I feel it has to be fleshed out for clarity.
Thank you.

 

[adamblack144]

That sounds good but it'll need Sarah and Lester to be developed further. She needs to become more dependent on him and show gratitude. She needs to stop being reluctant and open about her desires

 

[Chillie_Willie]

What I see now, after reading this chapter several times is that Lester will find out that Dan is trying to ruin him, I hope through Sarah, and he finds out about his searches for Lizzie. Lester contacts Lizzie and says that this guy is looking for her and if she will do one thing and onlu one thing, that he will let her go completely and forever, along with a fat paycheck. She wants to know what, he tells her to meet with Dan and don't give him any info, but commiserate with him, then seduce him, if she has to tell him that if wants any info from her, its only after a roll in the hay. Absolutely, though, Lester tells her that she needs to be fucking Dan at his apartment at this specific time. She will know when it happens, but when everything erupts, she can skedaddle and Lester will give her an envelope with a lot of untraceable cash in it and wish her a good life. Then he plans out the day and time and lets Sarah know that he has to get back to Chicago this weekend, so if she can get a sitter, he could drive her there and surprise Dan. Sarah asks why would he want to do that for Dan? He says, Fuck Dan, this is for you. I may hate him, but you love him and haven't seen him in awhile and even I can tell that you miss him. She thanks Lester and takes him up on the offer. They arrive in Chicago and get to the apartment to find Dan fucking the shit out of Lizzie. Sarah's anger goes sky high as we all know she is very jealous of Lizzie, Lester gets Lizzie out of the apartment, in order to give Sarah and Dan some time alone (to argue). Sarah's heart breaks as Dan tries any excuse he can and then starts saying Lester set him up. She doesn't believe him and screams for him to get the hell out of this apartment now. He claims it is his apartment and she coldly says, It is LESTER's apartment that he has so graciously allowed Dan to stay in with no other rent than the payment of fucking YOUR wife, far better than her husband ever has! GET OUT, NOW!!! Lester sits in his SUV and watches a pissed off Dan leaving, holding a handful of briefcase, laptop, and some clothes in his hands. He throws it in his car and peels out from the parking lot. Lester smiles and says, "Gotcha ya fucker!" He returns to the apartment to console and comfort Sarah and they fuck all weekend.

Just my opinion, I am not trying to offend people with writing anything or to fight with people, just giving an opinion and I am a writer/filmmaker so it is hard for me to just simply say something when I feel it has to be fleshed out for clarity.
Thank you.

Psiber I love your scenario. I think there is one miscalculation in your argument. If I’m not mistaken, I think the Williams’s were a one car household for some weird reason.

 

[Chillie_Willie]

That sounds good but it'll need Sarah and Lester to be developed further. She needs to become more dependent on him and show gratitude. She needs to stop being reluctant and open about her desires

This relates to the big issue I have with Toxic Attraction everything between Lester and Sarah feels disjointed and manufactured. Don made it a point to note Lester constantly staring at Sarah’s butt however it felt more creepy than sexual flirting. For a cheating couple, Sarah and Lester’s relationship has progressed glacially and constantly stymied by outside forces Don introduced. There are times I felt Lester and Sarah were closer to being a couple in chapter 16 than I do now. Eugene reflected on their chemistry:


“He could clearly see the passion between them as they fucked on the bed. It seemed like something more to him. He wasn’t sure if it was love, but they had a magnetism. He felt like he was watching something that should be private—an outsider watching two people about to mate”

 

[Verisimilinude]

Lester contacts Lizzie and says that this guy is looking for her and if she will do one thing and only one thing, that he will let her go completely and forever, along with a fat paycheck.

It's an interesting scenario and one that could happen, the only wrinkle I see is that it's just not in Lester's nature to be that kind to Lizzie. And how could Lizzie trust him, he already burned her with the video drive in Ch5, by not giving her all the copies.

 

[Verisimilinude]

That sounds good but it'll need Sarah and Lester to be developed further. She needs to become more dependent on him and show gratitude. She needs to stop being reluctant and open about her desires

You gotta ask yourself is the juice worth the squeeze. This is described as a slow burn series, and I think the pacing is on par with that promise. It sets the right amount of tension. In my mind the moment Sarah admits out-loud that she has truly submitted to Lester, the series is over bc there's nothing left to say. The one area where it could be better is cutting the fat off the TLG/Sentinel background details - it's needed for context but not as much as is written about.

What you say hasn't happened, I say has already been playing out since Ch14. You've seen her reluctance slowly eroding and now with CH25 you're about to see the slide get faster (at least I think it will). I think there are maybe 10-15 chapters left.

What hasn't Sarah done yet (that Lester would approve of) that could be; anal, girl on girl, fmf, hard humiliation, dan's submission, true breeding, Sarah's total submission, final reveal: resolution or redemption and epilogue. DS usually does two sex scenes a chapter, so I think 10-15 chapters should wrap those items up with wiggle room. Do I think this will happen, most likely not, it will be hard for DS (and some fans) to let go of this story, so I expect it to get into the 50 chapter range before he loses all of his audience for it.

 

[adamblack144]

Yes.

What hasn't Sarah done yet (that Lester would approve of) that could be; anal, girl on girl, fmf, hard humiliation, dan's submission, true breeding, Sarah's total submission, final reveal: resolution or redemption and epilogue.

How about initiating sex with him? How about kissing him when he's not fucking her? Expressing her attraction to him? Talking about their relationship? Not kicking him out or going to sleep immediately after sex?

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

Psiber I love your scenario. I think there is one miscalculation in your argument. If I’m not mistaken, I think the Williams’s were a one car household for some weird reason.

was never sure how Dan got around Everywhere, in a car that was mentioned in the chapter he went inside and physically attacked Lester, and Sarah did, as well, especially picking the kids up and going to work -- not to mention driving to Chicago.

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

It's an interesting scenario and one that could happen, the only wrinkle I see is that it's just not in Lester's nature to be that kind to Lizzie. And how could Lizzie trust him, he already burned her with the video drive in Ch5, by not giving her all the copies.

I agree, but I think he now sees Lizzie as a tool to get Sarah and he is tunnel-visioned on getting Sarah. I mean, from what Don eluded to Lester pretty consistently sold video of his conquests, but he refused with Sarah. Everything has changed with Sarah, so once he has her, he will never need Lizzie again.

 

[Verisimilinude]

I agree, but I think he now sees Lizzie as a tool to get Sarah and he is tunnel-visioned on getting Sarah. I mean, from what Don eluded to Lester pretty consistently sold video of his conquests, but he refused with Sarah. Everything has changed with Sarah, so once he has her, he will never need Lizzie again.

Fair assessment, hence why I said it's possible. I thought I'd read somewhere that Lizzie wasn't in DS's plans anymore, but I could be mistaken. I also think there is a high likelihood of Sarah changing Lester, as much has he is changing her.

 

[Verisimilinude]

was never sure how Dan got around Everywhere, in a car that was mentioned in the chapter he went inside and physically attacked Lester, and Sarah did, as well, especially picking the kids up and going to work -- not to mention driving to Chicago.

266 references to a car and I can only find one that says Dan's Car (Ch 15 Car Park/Sex Scene) and it's from Lester's POV, so probably "their" car. But there are a few references to Sarah asking Dan if he can come home for the weekend, so they must have two cars or it's an inconsistency.

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

Fair assessment, hence why I said it's possible. I thought I'd read somewhere that Lizzie wasn't in DS's plans anymore, but I could be mistaken. I also think there is a high likelihood of Sarah changing Lester, as much has he is changing her.

I think it will be Dan that causes Lizzie to be brought back, as he started searching for her. Sarah warns Lester of Dan trying to ruin him, he starts to watch Dan carefully, sees he is looking for Lizzie, establishing the search engine history with regard to her, the gives Dan exactly what he wants, while showing Sarah the search history reports and has her walk in on them. Lester wins.

 

[Chillie_Willie]

266 references to a car and I can only find one that says Dan's Car (Ch 15 Car Park/Sex Scene) and it's from Lester's POV, so probably "their" car. But there are a few references to Sarah asking Dan if he can come home for the weekend, so they must have two cars or it's an inconsistency.

It inconsistent but sounds like Dan rents cars, but takes the train or flies when going back to Middleton. He is definitely not commuting daily since he‘s unfamiliar with the city streets when he got released from jail. Chicago has enough public transportation to help him get to the office, but subtly shows how their financial hardship.

 

[Verisimilinude]

How about initiating sex with him? How about kissing him when he's not fucking her? Expressing her attraction to him? Talking about their relationship? Not kicking him out or going to sleep immediately after sex?

I get it you want this to be a romantic relationship - which it isn't. For Sarah this has been purely physical, exploration for her and Dan. Yes due to her own desires and Lester's conditioning her mind is slowly changing, but I would argue that currently Sarah is still committed to Dan, she's not going to throw that out overnight. She has to slowly change or it would be unrealistic. Would it be fair to say that the story has taken place over 4-6mth time frame? I don't care how good the sex is - Sarah isn't going to be in a happy marriage have sex with someone else and then dump Dan the next day and be in love with Lester. Life doesn't work that way.

For the record Sarah has initiated sex with Lester, twice? Ch16 D&D Party, Ch22* After Otis leaves
*Correction Ch23

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

It inconsistent but sounds like Dan rents cars, but takes the train or flies when going back to Middleton. He is definitely not commuting daily since he‘s unfamiliar with the city streets when he got released from jail. Chicago has enough public transportation to help him get to the office, but subtly shows how their financial hardship.

Yeah, but didn't he pull up in a car the night he caught Lester with Sarah and got physical with him? And even rental cars work in my eye.

 

[Verisimilinude]

I think it will be Dan that causes Lizzie to be brought back, as he started searching for her. Sarah warns Lester of Dan trying to ruin him, he starts to watch Dan carefully, sees he is looking for Lizzie, establishing the search engine history with regard to her, the gives Dan exactly what he wants, while showing Sarah the search history reports and has her walk in on them. Lester wins.

Don't get me wrong I think it's a good scenario. It opens possibilities for how the story develops; variety for the reading audience, the potential for Dan to consider an open marriage lifestyle, a catalyst for Sarah to make a choice or get revenge*, an opportunity for Dan to be even more humiliated, etc.

*Though revenge wouldn't be something she should have a right to - good for the goose, good for the gander and all. It is curious, I don't recall a mention of Sarah being jealous of Dan or hinting at it.

 

[Verisimilinude]

Yeah, but didn't he pull up in a car the night he caught Lester with Sarah and got physical with him? And even rental cars work in my eye.

Yeah, Ch 22 says he drove home to their house after his trip to DC. But it doesn't say it's his car or a rental.