- Feb 27, 2024
- 10
- 6
It's showing chapter 3 on his Patreon.I think only chapter 1 is out?
It's showing chapter 3 on his Patreon.I think only chapter 1 is out?
He might not have written it exactly like you are requesting, but DS did add that kind of detail in this latest chapter.I still don't get why DS is obsessed with cutting away as soon as the sex ends. I don't care about Sarah dodging Otis, I don't care about her coworker finding Cheetos stains on her uniform. Why not spend those paragraphs with them riding back to work together? There was no kissing in this chapter, make Lester demand a kiss before she leaves the car. Make her thank him for the sex. Why the immediate cut as soon as they both cum?
I liked this chapter a lot but this is a serious flaw in his writing.
He might not have written it exactly like you are requesting, but DS did add that kind of detail in this latest chapter.
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IMO, that is the kind of intimacy you've been asking for.
I think the entire reason for Dan telling Sarah that it is time for a break is only so Sarah could do what I thought she would do, which he may put in the final (I hope). That is Sarah saying to herself, "I knew Dan would have stopped me from experiencing that threesome. He's only happy when it is his fantasy but when it is MY growth, Lester is the only one who cares, Dan is a selfish prick." Then during the sexting/video sharing scene, right after Lester saying "Fuck Dan," for whatever reason, she confides, because now she trusts Lester to confide things in, she says," You know Dan wants us to stop everything." Lester says, "What? Why?" trying to think on his feet as Dan is trying to pull the rug out from under him, all of a sudden, but Sarah comes to the rescue by continuing, "he's being incredibly selfish. When its about him, great, keep doing it so I can be all manly and play with myself, but when it is about me and my personal growth, my learning who I am and what, maybe, I like, God forbid, Dan wants it stopped." Lester jumps right in saying he has seen it for months and tried to be there for her, despite her "tiny-dicked husband". Sarah thanks Lester for that and tells him that she knows that he has been there lately; the only one there.I don't know, I see it differently. The purpose of that phone call was to show Dan wanted things to stop and Sarah actively recognizing that she was growing, learning things about herself and that she didn't want it to stop. Supported by her calling him the second time and getting VM twice, when she said they hadn't really finished the conversation. The fight scene I think happened while she was trying to call him, hence the timeline is fine. But you're idea that now Dan has a secret, will be telling - if he shares it with Sarah in the next chapter.
At this stage the whole Sarah/Dan dynamic - it's getting hard to suspend disbelief. Its bordering on comical that Dan would still be standing by believing that this was a sharing fantasy. Too much has occurred without him for him to still be conflicted. He should be confronting her and saying "I don't like this anymore and I'm asking you to stop." Not that Dan has any ownership over her actions, their married - she isn't his property. But anyway - I'd be fine if DS, just wrote him out of the script moving forward or only talk about him in passing. Dan served his narrative purpose and now is just fluff taking up valuable space that could be devoted to showing Sarah's descent into corruption.
I think he is capable, just being a cuck he gets off watching his wife getting it and gets to say look how unselfish I am, I do not desire other women, but only want to see you having great sex. I really want Lester to make Lizzie seduce Dan and then we will all see if this is right or wrong-headed.I don’t think Dan is capable of cheating unlike Sarah who has spread her legs at any given opportunity going well beyond what was agreed for the rent the amount of times she’s now been railed Dan should be living in a condo.
Ordinarily, I agree with you but I tend to this the phone thing was handled well. Just the phone thing. Would have loved to see them sit and talk, holding hands or cuddling at the hotel at lunchtime.I still don't get why DS is obsessed with cutting away as soon as the sex ends. I don't care about Sarah dodging Otis, I don't care about her coworker finding Cheetos stains on her uniform. Why not spend those paragraphs with them riding back to work together? There was no kissing in this chapter, make Lester demand a kiss before she leaves the car. Make her thank him for the sex. Why the immediate cut as soon as they both cum?
I liked this chapter a lot but this is a serious flaw in his writing.
Agreed we're saying the same thing about the phone convo scene. It is DS's MO to write things in a more concise and vague way. I would speculate that DS doesn't write the after sex scenes, because he doesn't feel he needs to. The reader will fill in the blanks based on the dialogue from the preceding paragraphs. Or he leaves it vague so that the reader can decide to play the scene out the way they want to see it happening. And last it could be that he doesn't want to make it canon until he is ready to show actual character growth - as he did with the final video call scene with L/S. DS has now shown you that Sarah is not only subconsciously aware of her growing nonsexual affection for Lester, but she's consciously admitting to herself that she sees Lester as more than a sex partner; if you want to be my (Chicago) husband you'll have to work/fight for that right, and her saying "love you too" out of reflex or did she actually mean it - says that knows she has caught feelings for Lester and now she needs to decide what to do with that info. Does she choose what's best for her or does she choose what's best for her family?I think the entire reason for Dan telling Sarah that it is time for a break is only so Sarah could do what I thought she would do, which he may put in the final (I hope). That is Sarah saying to herself, "I knew Dan would have stopped me from experiencing that threesome. He's only happy when it is his fantasy but when it is MY growth, Lester is the only one who cares, Dan is a selfish prick." Then during the sexting/video sharing scene, right after Lester saying "Fuck Dan," for whatever reason, she confides, because now she trusts Lester to confide things in, she says," You know Dan wants us to stop everything." Lester says, "What? Why?" trying to think on his feet as Dan is trying to pull the rug out from under him, all of a sudden, but Sarah comes to the rescue by continuing, "he's being incredibly selfish. When its about him, great, keep doing it so I can be all manly and play with myself, but when it is about me and my personal growth, my learning who I am and what, maybe, I like, God forbid, Dan wants it stopped." Lester jumps right in saying he has seen it for months and tried to be there for her, despite her "tiny-dicked husband". Sarah thanks Lester for that and tells him that she knows that he has been there lately; the only one there.
Anyway, would love to have seen that as it would have sunk Dan further in the dog house and would have strengthened the Lester/Sarah dynamic. After all, when Dan sent Sarah to Lester, I don't recall him ever asking her what she thought, just how hot it was. However, when Lester sent her to Otis, he keeps asking her what she felt, how did she like it, etc.
Let me answer it this way. I've published one story so far, but I've got 5 others brewing in various states of written completion. The things I want to base my stories around are the motivations and rationale for why they do the wicked things they want to do. So I'm going to lean on that as the backbone of what I write. However I've got a secondary purpose that I have to write to as well - will the reader enjoy it enough to keep reading what I write. I have to weigh other factors as well; if I write about a cheating spouse I'm going to piss off the BTB Moral Brigade on one hand but please the fan base who gets turned on by cheating spouses. If I write a slow burn forbidden romance - I might please fans who want romance but piss off the fanbase that just wants to read hot sex scenes. How do you choose the right approach, who do you cater to? Can you find a balance?It is. But I would have liked that convo to be done in person. And I'm general, he needs to stop cutting away as soon as sex scene are done
One wrinkle in this flow is the Otis factor. I don't think Sarah even told him about Otis creeping her out that day. When she tried to bring it up to Lester, he distracted her with his magic wand. When she brought it up to Dan, he showed worry about her safety (besides droppingthe cheating word ,of course). I think that's why she mentioned Dan cares for her during her sexting with Lester, and meant it. So I read it as her being conflicted about her feelings towards Dan than outright downgrading him. The only way your idea works is if in final Don adds Lester promising her that he will take care of Otis.I think the entire reason for Dan telling Sarah that it is time for a break is only so Sarah could do what I thought she would do, which he may put in the final (I hope). That is Sarah saying to herself, "I knew Dan would have stopped me from experiencing that threesome. He's only happy when it is his fantasy but when it is MY growth, Lester is the only one who cares, Dan is a selfish prick." Then during the sexting/video sharing scene, right after Lester saying "Fuck Dan," for whatever reason, she confides, because now she trusts Lester to confide things in, she says," You know Dan wants us to stop everything." Lester says, "What? Why?" trying to think on his feet as Dan is trying to pull the rug out from under him, all of a sudden, but Sarah comes to the rescue by continuing, "he's being incredibly selfish. When its about him, great, keep doing it so I can be all manly and play with myself, but when it is about me and my personal growth, my learning who I am and what, maybe, I like, God forbid, Dan wants it stopped." Lester jumps right in saying he has seen it for months and tried to be there for her, despite her "tiny-dicked husband". Sarah thanks Lester for that and tells him that she knows that he has been there lately; the only one there.
Anyway, would love to have seen that as it would have sunk Dan further in the dog house and would have strengthened the Lester/Sarah dynamic. After all, when Dan sent Sarah to Lester, I don't recall him ever asking her what she thought, just how hot it was. However, when Lester sent her to Otis, he keeps asking her what she felt, how did she like it, etc.
Good point!!!I don’t think Dan is capable of cheating unlike Sarah who has spread her legs at any given opportunity going well beyond what was agreed for the rent the amount of times she’s now been railed Dan should be living in a condo.
Well Dan has bigger fish to fry now, what with 'almost killing someone' and all..... wonder if Jesse was drunk at that time. Maybe that will help Dan off the hook atleast from legal angle.I really want Lester to make Lizzie seduce Dan and then we will all see if this is right or wrong-headed.
The only place I was coming from on this front was the direction that Don had Sarah going with her rationalization of the exclusion of Dan, especially in the threesome. She said that Dan would have stopped her from experiencing that, while Lester helped to make sure she experienced it, by excluding Dan. She mentioned again here and then was heading that way in her conversation with Dan. It isn't so much, for me, about her safety, but her state of mind and at this time, I believe, she thinks Lester helps her to discover who she actually is and what she actually wants from sex and life. Dan, on the other hand is the roadblock to all of that happening.One wrinkle in this flow is the Otis factor. I don't think Sarah even told him about Otis creeping her out that day. When she tried to bring it up to Lester, he distracted her with his magic wand. When she brought it up to Dan, he showed worry about her safety (besides droppingthe cheating word ,of course). I think that's why she mentioned Dan cares for her during her sexting with Lester, and meant it. So I read it as her being conflicted about her feelings towards Dan than outright downgrading him. The only way your idea works is if in final Don adds Lester promising her that he will take care of Otis.
I am not so sure he would be arrested but his workplace may have a zero tolerance rule for violence in the workplace and now they have no choice but to let him go, because of it. This keys off the government job he does, as they would most likely have to perform rolling background checks, in order to root out people once trusted who end up radicalized. They see that Dan is fired due to violence in the workplace, that leads them to believe that Dan is unstable and they fire him, and the dominoes continue to fall...Well Dan has bigger fish to fry now, what with 'almost killing someone' and all..... wonder if Jesse was drunk at that time. Maybe that will help Dan off the hook atleast from legal angle.