Toxic Attraction DonSilver #Cuckold 8muses forum

[john_doe6711]

I really wanted to read this story and now I'm like a kid on Christmas morning that didn't get what he asked for...maybe veris can write an AU about this...??

 

[john_doe6711]

Does anyone have the Evelyn series from mrjakobs...even if it's pdf...thanks..

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

It was meh IMHO...it's always the same thing with some of these writers now...like they lack the imagination needed to write new stories...wife/girlfriend see antagonists cock suddenly gets wet then gives blowjob after some back and forth and a little reluctance the have sex with said antagonist..just by reading the outline everytime she goes back she'll have to do something eventually leading to full blown sex..I know it's her son but it's fiction...have her walk away disgusted by what he's implying...he's seen her body and wants it willing to do whatever to get it...making her believe he's come around just so he can get into her panties idk...just something different..

His problem here is that he is also writing a mom/bully story and inho he doesn't get that genre at all. A bully who is no longer a threat to her son, until this crash and then is back to being a threat but only because everything arbitrarily lines up for him to do so. He's not the son's bully and it sounds like Don just needed something to put them together but the mom and bully don't even recognize each other any longer. There is no longer a hatred between the son and bully, so the idea of him blackmailing/extorting sex from her is ridiculous. Long ago, I used to talk to Don all of the time. He wanted to explore a bully story and it had been a while since I had written one that I asked him if I could take that one on. He said sure and seeing this, I wish I had.

 

[King_Gonta]

Just my opinion

Don Silver must either end this story OR make a major change for the main characters .
In my opinion - original story practically has come to an end, as it should be.
Toxic Attraction has won.
Evil ugly roommate achieved his goal, the beauty is his now, in every way and not just sexual, her husband doesn't matter anymore. Mission acomplished. Corruption complete.
In the last chapter they all simply can acknowledge the new status quo in their lives and try to live their new lives as best as they can.
Dragging on and on and with the whole Lester/Sarah and "frozen" Dan situation - won't make no difference to the story anymore, as we all could see in the last 9 or 10 Chapters.

OR

if Silver for some reason wants to carry on with the married couple and their sexual journey - in that case Lester must be removed from the story, so the married couple can get a complete new storyine.
The easiest way could be - Lester has a heart attack while having sex with Sarah.
Married couple finds in his room papers and access to his banking accounts, that way their financial problems get resolved.
Dan and Sarah have a real talk about their relationship and everything that happened and all the mistakes they've done and try a new start in their live, maybe moving to another city , find new jobs, meet new people and then start whole new watching/sharing wife-storyline with new rules and new situations where these rules might get bent or even broken.
Either way - the original Dan/ Sarah/Lester storyline is done, nothing new here anymore

You know what I am thinking of a "trad" ending here

Dan and Lester have to unite to protect Sarah from someone ( say that stalker whose name I can't recall)

Lester gets a heart attack and a change of heart (figuratively) and decides he loves Sarah . Like "love

That becomes his downfall and sentinel starts catching up to him and now Dan has to protect him and participate in his schemes

Lester with his new morality corrects the couples life while he is dying meanwhile Sarah gives birth to his baby which is about sealing the trio forever

Lester soon dies and Dan and Sarah bury him and all saying he was their "good friend " .

Sarah still pines for him but she has a family and Dan to tend to and realizes her mistakes . Dan meanwhile is finally cured of her cuckolding kink and searches through Lesters stuff to finally discover all his tapes and shit.

He destroys them but keeps some for his own pleasure. He never tells Sarah out of his final respect for the monster

This is the only "trad" ending I can think of where all 3 get their own ways and move on

 

[DarkStutzel]

Corruption of a Geek Goddess Pt. 9?

 

[Verisimilinude]

It was meh IMHO...it's always the same thing with some of these writers now...like they lack the imagination needed to write new stories...wife/girlfriend see antagonists cock suddenly gets wet then gives blowjob after some back and forth and a little reluctance the have sex with said antagonist..just by reading the outline everytime she goes back she'll have to do something eventually leading to full blown sex..I know it's her son but it's fiction...have her walk away disgusted by what he's implying...he's seen her body and wants it willing to do whatever to get it...making her believe he's come around just so he can get into her panties idk...just something different..

First impression was I got young Lester vibes from the bully. As for the story, it felt like tragedy porn to me and didn't sit right. I read as a long form outline and was rushed. We go from plane crash to her trading sex for her son's medicine. I could have been okay with it if her mindset had been I have to do this because my son's life depends on it. But having her internal thoughts of lust so quickly just felt rushed. Maybe DS was throwing out the big idea in the alpha, wanted to gather feedback and then he'll go back and write it at a slower pace. Who knows. As it is, it wouldn't be something I would continue to read.

maybe veris can write an AU about this...??

Sorry to disappoint, not my place to write in someone else's sandbox and even if invited, I'd likely say no. I have far too many stories of my own that I can't get to fast enough.

 

[john_doe6711]

I think the stories he's been writing on the side are MAYBE something to fall back on if the TA bombs at the end and his paying public are disgruntled about it...idk he's writing too many side stories and not really concentrating on his cash cow( if I may)right now....all of his energy should be put into the story to finish it off with a bang..

 

[DarkStutzel]

You know what I am thinking of a "trad" ending here

Dan and Lester have to unite to protect Sarah from someone ( say that stalker whose name I can't recall)

Lester gets a heart attack and a change of heart (figuratively) and decides he loves Sarah . Like "love

That becomes his downfall and sentinel starts catching up to him and now Dan has to protect him and participate in his schemes

Lester with his new morality corrects the couples life while he is dying meanwhile Sarah gives birth to his baby which is about sealing the trio forever

Lester soon dies and Dan and Sarah bury him and all saying he was their "good friend " .

Sarah still pines for him but she has a family and Dan to tend to and realizes her mistakes . Dan meanwhile is finally cured of her cuckolding kink and searches through Lesters stuff to finally discover all his tapes and shit.

He destroys them but keeps some for his own pleasure. He never tells Sarah out of his final respect for the monster

This is the only "trad" ending I can think of where all 3 get their own ways and move on

Sarah has already completely changed Dan! In her dreams, she leaves Dan and her family and goes to Lester. Lester would never accept sharing Sarah with Dan. The best thing is for Dan to see Lester give pleasure to Sarah and Sarah in depravity. - End of the series: Lester conquers Sarah and Trisha has Dan for herself (Dan thrives away from Sarah). Sarah becomes pregnant and divorced from Dan (Lester now continues with the search to impregnate Renee), with the last arc with Dan x Lester when Lester talks about having a harem. Having a passage of years. Then Lester can die, a very exciting confrontation, all the depravities come to light.Lester thinks I have Renee, Sarah, now it's just a matter of the girls when they get older. They'll go to college, I'll give them the initiation they need... When they were kids they didn't like me, when they become women they'll change their minds.

 

[john_doe6711]

Sarah has already completely changed Dan! In her dreams, she leaves Dan and her family and goes to Lester. Lester would never accept sharing Sarah with Dan. The best thing is for Dan to see Lester give pleasure to Sarah and Sarah in depravity. - End of the series: Lester conquers Sarah and Trisha has Dan for herself (Dan thrives away from Sarah). Sarah becomes pregnant and divorced from Dan (Lester now continues with the search to impregnate Renee), with the last arc with Dan x Lester when Lester talks about having a harem. Having a passage of years. Then Lester can die, a very exciting confrontation, all the depravities come to light.Lester thinks I have Renee, Sarah, now it's just a matter of the girls when they get older. They'll go to college, I'll give them the initiation they need... When they were kids they didn't like me, when they become women they'll change their minds.

Wow the end there is kinda dark...

 

[Verisimilinude]

I think the stories he's been writing on the side are MAYBE something to fall back on if the TA bombs at the end and his paying public are disgruntled about it...idk he's writing too many side stories and not really concentrating on his cash cow( if I may)right now....all of his energy should be put into the story to finish it off with a bang..

But you just gave the reason he wouldn't hasten it's ending. Why would he finish TA if it's his only cow that's making milk? (not saying it is or isn't, I don't have that data).

 

[swewx]

But you just gave the reason he wouldn't hasten it's ending. Why would he finish TA if it's his only cow that's making milk? (not saying it is or isn't, I don't have that data).

110%
If I had that cow on my stable I wouldn't kill it either. lol

 

[DarkStutzel]

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[King_Gonta]

The island mom and bully concept was fine

But Silver was just simple plain "unimaginative " with that. One of the worst things a writer can do is be "unimaginative"

His villains are all supervillains ( the teenager and his friend simply siphons the supplies and no one even knows.

Basically Dan is so focused on being dark and edgy he is forgetting the story is supposed to be erotic . People get off on genuine sexual situations not just sadism

He should not end TA bcuz I don't think his any other story will make such an impact

 

[King_Gonta]

But you just gave the reason he wouldn't hasten it's ending. Why would he finish TA if it's his only cow that's making milk? (not saying it is or isn't, I don't have that data).

Hey friend

I want to hear about your thoughts on the island story

What would you have done with the plot??

 

[sdkain]

Hey friend

I want to hear about your thoughts on the island story

What would you have done with the plot??

Since Don S loves the bully romance/manipulation angle, make the bully into the hero. He gains support of the survivors, then uses his hero status to manipulate the mom, while continue bullying the son behind the mom's back. As the son continues complaining to the mom, have the mom slowly start taking the bully's side over her own kid, putting the bully's needs over her own son's.

 

[ABinWP]

Just read the island story. It's extremely boring. Don't know why he's starting new series when Neighbor Encounters us still unfinished.

A very underwhelming start to a story. Seemed like the author wrote it during a commercial break or something. Very rushed, no depth, just....meh.

This author, in general, has the capability to write a very good sex scene. Even when TA went off the rails, the sex scene writing was often still of a decent quality. This island thing? Very mediocre in this respect, at best.

 

[john_doe6711]

Hey guys have any of you read chapter 13 of the bad tenant yet?

 

[ABinWP]

And he's been indecisive from the start. Idk maybe this is normal in a sharing lifestyle; I have to think there would be hesitation and indecision about sharing your wife with another man for the first time.

In my opinion and experience, you would find a full spectrum of feelings/responses here. Healthy and unhealthy, rational and unrational, random and planned, enjoyable and not so much.

I personally never felt any hesitation or indecision at all (I personally don't think it's fair to engage with others if those feelings or reactions are possible/probable - hard to predict sometimes though, I suppose). Nervousness and excitement? Definitely.

A plan and continuous communication is usually necessary for this sort of thing to go well. And a commitment to an enjoyable shared experience. Dan and Sarah failed each other miserably in both ways in this story.

 

[Psiber@mauvais]

Since Don S loves the bully romance/manipulation angle, make the bully into the hero. He gains support of the survivors, then uses his hero status to manipulate the mom, while continue bullying the son behind the mom's back. As the son continues complaining to the mom, have the mom slowly start taking the bully's side over her own kid, putting the bully's needs over her own son's.

One of the major problems, though, is that the kid isn't bullying the son. It stopped years ago. Now the son looks down on the bully as a failure, which should be the bully's nightmare. Where's the betrayal with regards of the Mother to the son, with no bullying it seemingly can't exist, not truly; and to start now seems ridiculously trite.

 

[sdkain]

One of the major problems, though, is that the kid isn't bullying the son. It stopped years ago. Now the son looks down on the bully as a failure, which should be the bully's nightmare. Where's the betrayal with regards of the Mother to the son, with no bullying it seemingly can't exist, not truly; and to start now seems ridiculously trite.

Absolutely! I was responding to the question how the plot might be approached differently