I have some feedback on a few grammar issues in the intro.
When you first speak to Sun she says: " You are not ordinary. So am I. ", this should be "You are not ordinary. Neither am I". Just after that she says: " You know that succubuses are satisfied with human lust for a long time. But I don't. ". The second sentence should be "But I'm not". The first sentence has two verbs, a doing verb (you know) and a being verb (they are satisfied). Using "I don't" in the second sentence refers back to the doing verb in the first sentence (you know, but I don't know), while using "I'm not" in the second sentence refers back to the being verb in the first sentence (they are satisfied, but I'm not satisfied). I'm not entirely sure what the first sentence is trying to say, specifically its unclear whether "for a long time" refers to how long Maya has known that sccubuses are satisfied with human lust, or how long succubuses have been satisfied with human lust. I think it should either be "You've known for a long time that succubuses are satisfied with human lust", or it should be "You know that for a long time succubuses have been satisfied with human lust".