Ghost_of_MK
New Member
- Feb 27, 2025
- 7
- 45
- 22
Hey all,
So, I keep reading the post on my decision regarding game/games. As I said before, yes I made mistakes and I am accounted for. Someone said that my ego went up as point, at think at some point this is true. This experience help me realize where I did wrong and it helped me become a better person and even if I was well organized in terms of managing resource, managing task and overseeing a small project which for me was a first thing, I wasn't that good at realizing that there was a bottle neck. And at some point, I saw it.
I was on this forum for a a bit, I think from 2017 or so, I can't remember. But what I remember when I launched the game was that every feedback was coherent, even if it was positive or negative. People would break a few minutes from their time and they would simple leave a review to help the dev. I think that after some time, other people joined the forum or other generations that I wasn't part of but things went south in a strange way.
At some point, as I said, I was sleeping around five hours at top at night, putting a lot of hours in the game, renders and trying to make things better, and the reviews and comments were simply mocking all the effort I did. Not because they were negative, not at all, but they would focus so much on my past mistakes that they didn't want to see the present.
Imagine going to an office, going on a professional path, pushing further and further to gain performance, some colleagues say its not the right way, but you continue and at some point the feedback is good. You push further and further to maintain the narrative and the positive feedback and then the burnout came. You feel it but you can't stop, because stopping means loosing support. Every break you take means that you loose support gain through months of hard work. This can't happen. And you push and push until you finally start to crack, and with every fail, you will be reminded the fact that you will leave the company. No matter what you do, this is the outcome. The big exit is coming and this went on for a year or more.
Now, I understand that no one has no obligation towards me but I feel like at some point, there was room for understanding.
Why I deleted my accounts. First of all, for not giving into remorse's and turning back. I knew that if I had everything in place I would come back and confront with the same meltdown, same backlash, same everything. Also, one thing that I learned from here is that no matter how hard you try to make things right, some or most (I don't know) will always see you for the mistakes you made and they will always tag you with your failures rather than anything else. So I think that is a reason why many devs have rebranded, or why they ditched development as a whole.
If there is no room for understanding, there is room for adaptability.
So, I keep reading the post on my decision regarding game/games. As I said before, yes I made mistakes and I am accounted for. Someone said that my ego went up as point, at think at some point this is true. This experience help me realize where I did wrong and it helped me become a better person and even if I was well organized in terms of managing resource, managing task and overseeing a small project which for me was a first thing, I wasn't that good at realizing that there was a bottle neck. And at some point, I saw it.
I was on this forum for a a bit, I think from 2017 or so, I can't remember. But what I remember when I launched the game was that every feedback was coherent, even if it was positive or negative. People would break a few minutes from their time and they would simple leave a review to help the dev. I think that after some time, other people joined the forum or other generations that I wasn't part of but things went south in a strange way.
At some point, as I said, I was sleeping around five hours at top at night, putting a lot of hours in the game, renders and trying to make things better, and the reviews and comments were simply mocking all the effort I did. Not because they were negative, not at all, but they would focus so much on my past mistakes that they didn't want to see the present.
Imagine going to an office, going on a professional path, pushing further and further to gain performance, some colleagues say its not the right way, but you continue and at some point the feedback is good. You push further and further to maintain the narrative and the positive feedback and then the burnout came. You feel it but you can't stop, because stopping means loosing support. Every break you take means that you loose support gain through months of hard work. This can't happen. And you push and push until you finally start to crack, and with every fail, you will be reminded the fact that you will leave the company. No matter what you do, this is the outcome. The big exit is coming and this went on for a year or more.
Now, I understand that no one has no obligation towards me but I feel like at some point, there was room for understanding.
Why I deleted my accounts. First of all, for not giving into remorse's and turning back. I knew that if I had everything in place I would come back and confront with the same meltdown, same backlash, same everything. Also, one thing that I learned from here is that no matter how hard you try to make things right, some or most (I don't know) will always see you for the mistakes you made and they will always tag you with your failures rather than anything else. So I think that is a reason why many devs have rebranded, or why they ditched development as a whole.
If there is no room for understanding, there is room for adaptability.