VN Ren'Py Where the Heart Is [S1 Rev1] [CheekyGimp]

4.30 star(s) 336 Votes
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ProofreadingRUS

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Aside from contractions, I found little problems in the script on Episode 15 like this.
Wanda
Oh (MC). Thank you so much. I know you're not big on compliments, but just saying something nice about me every now means the world to me.
Oh (MC). Thank you so much. I know you're not big on compliments, but just saying something nice about me every now and then means the world to me.(better)
Oh (MC). Thank you so much. I know you're not big on compliments, but hearing you say something nice about me every now and then means the world to me.(better)
Oh (MC). Thank you so much. I know you're not big on compliments, but hearing you say something nice to me every now and then means the world to me(better)
You're welcome.
 
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ProofreadingRUS

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Found another one.
Wanda
I'll also continue to show (MC)! I know he cannot keep his eyes off me. Especially this pose. It's his favourite.
I'll also continue to show (MC)! I know he cannot keep his eyes off me. Especially this pose. It's his favorite.(better)
I'll also continue to show (MC)! I know he cannot keep his eyes off me. Especially in this pose. It's his favorite.(better)
I'll also continue to show (MC)! I know he can't keep his eyes off me. Especially in this pose. It's his favorite.(better)

favourite is the British way of saying favorite.

And he's seen it plenty of times before. And not just during this shoot. But he never seems to tire of looking at me.
And he's seen it plenty of times before. And not just during this shoot. But he never seems to get tired of looking at me.(better)
And he has seen it plenty of times before. And not just during this shoot. But he never seems to get tired of looking at me.(better)

It seems that from this point on the mistakes are going to show up more.
I just fixed three, so I'm not doing the rest. The script needs a good proofreader.
I just clicked fast at the beginning of this Episode, so maybe I missed some.

Also I find it amazing that Wanda and Angel look a lot better with lingerie on then naked.
Must be those close ups. They show their curves better.

You're welcome.
 
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lordofhirunds

lordofhirunds

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Jul 25, 2017
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Thank God a good part of us is not "English" but "Engrish" and this allows us to read the texts even if there are mistakes and understand them without problems.
I don't think it is vitally important for us if we read cannot or can't, if Call around is used too many times or if we read favorite or favourite.
I find it convenient not to be "English" and enjoy a video game without looking for mistakes.
I'm sorry if someone doesn't agree but I don't have a problem with it.
Long life to WTHI and Cheeky Team
 
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ProofreadingRUS

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lordofhirunds said:
Thank God a good part of us is not "English" but "Engrish" and this allows us to read the texts even if there are mistakes and understand them without problems.
I don't think it is vitally important for us if we read cannot or can't, if Call around is used too many times or if we read favorite or favourite.
I find it convenient not to be "English" and enjoy a video game without looking for mistakes.
I'm sorry if someone doesn't agree but I don't have a problem with it.
Long life to WTHI and Cheeky Team
Click to expand...
The script is half English with some British if nobody got that by now.
The word I haven't yet see is OI!!!!
 
acewinz

acewinz

Developer of "The Call of Darkness"
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SOBS said:
Oh (MC). Thank you so much. I know you're not big on compliments, but hearing you say something nice to me every now and then means the world to me(better)
Click to expand...
SOBS said:
Found another one.
Wanda
I'll also continue to show (MC)! I know he cannot keep his eyes off me. Especially this pose. It's his favourite.
I'll also continue to show (MC)! I know he can't keep his eyes off me. Especially in this pose. It's his favorite.(better)

favourite is the British way of saying favorite.

And he's seen it plenty of times before. And not just during this shoot. But he never seems to tire of looking at me.
And he's seen it plenty of times before. And not just during this shoot. But he never seems to get tired of looking at me.(better)
Click to expand...
Hehe. There was a missing "then" in one version of Wanda's reply.
The alternate phrasing you supplied was imho neither better or worse.

The second "this pose" vs "in this pose" are both fine while favourite should be the preferred spelling since we try to adhere to the UK standard.

The last "seems to tire" vs "seems to get tired" isn't really a necessary change, as both convey the same meaning correctly.

1593545407805.png
 
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csmk14

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Mar 12, 2020
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I admit, I didn't really read the tags and am almost to the final current chapter, now I am wondering how to get it down to 1 girl safely, if at all possible!
 
Fenrir_Jormungandr_Hel

Fenrir_Jormungandr_Hel

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Nov 9, 2018
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csmk14 said:
I admit, I didn't really read the tags and am almost to the final current chapter, now I am wondering how to get it down to 1 girl safely, if at all possible!
Click to expand...
It's possible. If it ever gives you the option to break up with any of the women, take it. You don't have to have a harem if you don't want it.
 
Ilhares

Ilhares

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Aug 19, 2019
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While I really like Angel, she's got a major career focus building and wouldn't likely want to get tied down just after we help kickstart her dreams. I also like Bella, but she's giving off all kinds of psycho-stalker crazy vibes to me.

I don't really want/need a harem. I'm going to settle down at the beach house with all my money, the car, and the lovely Lily and Debbie. I've got absolutely no problem with the women I've dated being interested in women, so if they hit it off with each other that makes for the perfect potential situation down the line to start the family building.
 
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4.30 star(s) 336 Votes