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tortorus

Member
Aug 29, 2018
152
175
Bruh I barely touched the actual story. I inserted a text conversation in place of that training sequence that better illustrated to the player what the early goal was, made the h-scenes optional, and inserted some choices players have been asking for. That's about it. But hey, can't please everyone. I dunno how you feel I'm not gonna make much more. This game is gonna go for years if I have anything to say about it.
yes i see this, like i said, " i just test it... "

But remember

MMMMmmmm it s seems to me you don t really understand what have to do to make a better story, sorry if i m wong...
It will not got better if you just hide things behind a choice and not really change anything in the story. it feel you just nerf the mc thinking and end to the rewrite. your game need more that just few sentence add or delet.
and your answer was

First off, yes, that's what a rewrite is. I am quite literally rewriting the Season 1 section of the game. Initially, I wrote this the way I would write a fantasy novel, as I have been writing books for over 20 years and I had never written an AVN. I learned since then that AVN readers don't typically enjoy the amount of pathos that goes into the setup of a fantasy novel, so I'm working on rewriting and correcting this. Fantasy novels typically have a catalyst that starts the story, called the "inciting event."
So, it s " that exactly what i was afraid...", you had not keep your word... If i talk to you about your story, it s because i think it could be better, the idea was nice but what you doing with it was not, so i try to say it (and if i remember i was not alone, far from it...). But as i said " it s your story make it what you want for who you want... ". Yes you can t please everyone (Haaa the poor devs favorite word...) but when you choose to please only the few, it will not be a popular game for sure. your game come jun 27 2021, 3 years, it was see and maybe test by at least half of 651000 peoples and you have 234 likes...

I m going to be honest for 2 minutes,

The graphic of your game are old.

The caracter design are nice for some but you choose the loli way... well not for everyone.

The sex scene are really basic, 5 second, one loop, end, below average.

The gameplay is near zero, you don t have choice for the story... have you the choice of your li ? no, you can only see or no see sex scene... in a porn game i want to choose my li but when it come to sex, what the point of hide it behind a choice, again in a porn game...? The only one that i see right is the choice for the wind elf. So it s near a kinetic with see or not scene scene...

The last was your story the idea is nice but the way you do it, it s wasted potential i think that why i try, because it is for me the most in a visual novel. but you choose the dark path.

So a loli game, with outdated graphic, below average sex, and a dark and depressive story... Well... nice formula, but if in 3 years you have 250 likes and you don t want change anything... Here in f95 dozen of game pop every week, so people don t really look back when they test it and dont like it, some like me stay to see if it can get better, but when they think it s an end they don t look back too, and you game with outdated graphics will not attract a lot of new people. So i think it s safe for me to say " I feel in this state you are no going to make much more. " even i you keep it for years... You have already 3.

Well i will stop here, i m sorry to say all of this to you, you seem nice (although a little hypocritical)... It s your game make it as it please you. it s simply not for me.

And no need to answer me, it s my last post in this game forum, i just wanted to clarify my thoughts since you seem not to have understood me.

Again good luck with your game...
 
Last edited:

Lerd0

Devoted Member
Uploader
Donor
Jul 29, 2017
9,151
107,053
yes i see this, like i said, " i just test it... "

But remember



and your answer was



So, it s " that exactly what i was afraid...", you had not keep your word... If i talk to you about your story, it s because i think it could be better, the idea was nice but what you doing with it was not, so i try to say it (and if i remember i was not alone, far from it...). But as i said " it s your story make it what you want for who you want... ". Yes you can t please everyone (Haaa the poor devs favorite word...) but when you choose to please only the few, it will not be a popular game for sure. your game come jun 27 2021, 3 years, it was see and maybe test by at least half of 651000 peoples and you have 234 likes...

I m going to be honest for 2 minutes,

The graphic of your game are old.

The caracter design are nice for some but you choose the loli way... well not for everyone.

The sex scene are really basic, 5 second, one loop, end, below average.

The gameplay is near zero, you don t have choice for the story... have you the choice of your li ? no, you can only see or no see sex scene... in a porn game i want to choose my li but when it come to sex, what the point of hide it behind a choice, again in a porn game...? The only one that i see right is the choice for the wind elf. So it s near a kinetic with see or not scene scene...

The last was your story the idea is nice but the way you do it, it s wasted potential i think that why i try, because it is for me the most in a visual novel. but you choose the dark path.

So a loli game, with outdated graphic, below average sex, and a dark and depressive story... Well... nice formula, but if in 3 years you have 250 likes and you don t want change anything... Here in f95 dozen of game pop every week, so people don t really look back when they test it and dont like it, some like me stay to see if it can get better, but when they think it s an end they don t look back too, and you game with outdated graphics will not attract a lot of new people. So i think it s safe for me to say " I feel in this state you are no going to make much more. " even i you keep it for years... You have already 3.

Well i will stop here, i m sorry to say all of this to you, you seem nice (although a little hypocritical)... It s your game make it as it please you. it s simply not for me.

And no need to answer me, it s my last post in this game forum, i just wanted to clarify my thoughts since you seem not to have understood me.

Again good luck with your game...
1719316995862.png
..wat even is bro yappin about?
 

Chris2041

Active Member
Oct 12, 2017
707
1,601
Right, that's why I'm doing a rewrite of Season 1, because the overall negativity was a bit much for some who didn't have the stomach to sit around and watch as the situations improved. This comes from me being an author rather than a game designer, and the tendency to start stories in heavy pathos so that way when things do improve, the reader appreciates it more than just taking it for granted as the new status quo. It was meant to set up a situation in which the main character was unhappy, and through his own character arc and solving his problems one by one, he gradually begins to care about his situation more and find more happiness and joy in the girls he meets and the ways he's influencing the world. In a sense, things only get better from there. Even the seemingly man-hating Ms. Clements is starting to warm up to him in Season 2 as Aurum begins to show that he is a light in the darkness for a lot of the students.

In the 2 1/2 years this game has been live, I've learned a lot of things about the AVN community in general. One is that the AVN community doesn't get invested with heavy pathos in the way that, say, readers of the fantasy genre might in a novel. AVN players tend to come to their games and stories for a particular feeling, and disgust is not one of those feelings. And for every one person like you who speaks up about it, there are probably 10 more who are silent about it.

I appreciate you coming in and expressing your opinion cordially. It's honest and to the point, and makes me think maybe the rewrite is a bit more of a priority than I previously thought. There's a lot to love about this game if you can get past the prologue, especially once you start meeting the girls. Though if you prefer to wait till the rewrite hits and both seasons are contained within the same game, I can't say I blame you.

Anyways, always here to answer questions!
Well duh when i come to play harem games i want to feel good not feel depressed i get you want to make a good history and i respect that but making a prologue of a porn game where the first i get is being sad not the best first impressions when i come here to see prety girls
 
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shitass1001

Active Member
Jun 8, 2021
875
2,831
Well duh when i come to play harem games i want to feel good not feel depressed i get you want to make a good history and i respect that but making a prologue of a porn game where the first i get is being sad not the best first impressions when i come here to see prety girls
You come here to "see pretty girls" not everyone comes here for that, and I dont think "see pretty girls" is the story the dev wants to tell. Personally I like when games have stories, even sad ones.
P.S. would it kill you to include some commas in your writing?
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
609
2,554
Just an unsolicited opinion but I think it would actually make a lot of sense to temporarily remove the poly path and make it just mono or none, and then allow the mono path to open up into a poly one later once Eshtel's content actually starts.
At the point you make the choice Chiara is still suffering from her initial impression of being a man hating bitch who only looks at women as a vagina on legs. Like her agreeing to MC's comment about how she only gives her number out to people she wants to sleep with, she really acts like those dudes walking around with a t-shirt that says "alpha" in big letters. Now a few more days in we get to see a lot more nuance with her and a lot more of her playful side, she really redeems herself as a character and develops into a really good friend to the MC. For veteran players we know the real Chiara, but for new comers they're still gonna have a negative impression of her by that point. Delaying the choice to open up the relationship to Chiara with Eshtel will probably lead to a lot more new players who aren't familiar with Chiara yet choosing to go on the poly route.
It'd also solve the problem of how by the time we get our first Eshtel scene not related to the main story she'll have been dating Chiara for probably weeks in universe. It makes MC seem less like a third wheel in the relationship.
Even if you don't remove the poly path I think it would be a decent idea to allow players to open it up to a poly one with Chiara later on once her content starts. I started out the game feeling like Chiara was pretty well irredeemable but warmed up to her a lot. Playing the character I'd like to play though at the point we're given the choice I'm picking mono, even though I personally like lesbian interactions within the harem. It's just bad timing for the choice imo.
Honestly this is kind of a brilliant idea and I may do just this. Great suggestion. Saves me from having to rewrite and rerender a ton of dialogue. What I may end up doing is giving Chiara an excuse to make her own bracelet for herself, and have you make the choice during Season 2 within Eshtel's side story. Remove the Infirmary scene and make that Eshtel's first side scene, wherein the choice is made. Good shit.

The sex scene are really basic, 5 second, one loop, end, below average.
So here's how I know this guy is not talking about WCA. I put HOURS of work into my sex scenes because the whole 1 position/three speeds/bust is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves in games with adult content. Here are some quick stats:
- Gillie's H-scene in the Cathedral: 21 stills and 14 video loops
- Secret Harpy Scene 1: 10 video loops, then 4 video loops of the goblins afterward, probably my lightest H-scene ever
- Aoibheann's finger scene: 8 stills and 21 video loops
- Jade's Gym scene: 32 video loops
- Tilai Season 1 scene: 26 video loops
- Ashley Memory scene: 5 stills, 31 video loops
- Jade's Cellar scene: 22 stills, 50 video loops
- Mouse's first H-scene: 24 stills, 22 video loops

"The sex scene are really basic, 5 second, one loop, end, below average."
Buddy, I realize you may not like the choices I made in the writing, but you ain't gotta come up in here straight LYING about the game. I dunno what game you're hating on, but it ain't WCA. Outta here with that mess.
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Well duh when i come to play harem games i want to feel good not feel depressed i get you want to make a good history and i respect that but making a prologue of a porn game where the first i get is being sad not the best first impressions when i come here to see prety girls
I expressed early on, both on the project's download page and in the intro to the prologue, that this is not a porn game. This is a fairly linear/kinetic story that happens to have a bit of sex in it, and planned sex scenes for each love interest. But the core is the story, and EARNING your way into these girls' good graces. It's not for everyone, particularly not for those expecting a quick fap style game. It's much more about the story I want to tell and also happens to allow you to become intimate with as many of the girls as you want. I expressed early on that this story requires patience, and it starts off fairly dark and unhappy so that when you start changing people's minds, you really FEEL the difference. By the time Season 2 comes around, you have Ms. Clements thanking you for the value you provide to the school. To my eyes as a writer, that wouldn't mean shit if she wasn't a total ass to you throughout the first season, and if you didn't find out that the reason she's a total ass has nothing to do with you personally. That's the kind of story I want to tell. A main character who looks past the personal offense to try to understand why the person acts the way they do, and eventually helps them with a problem to the point where the person feels gratitude and has to admit they were wrong. With most of the LIs, that's what takes their guard down and initiates interest in you; willingness to help despite how they've treated you, because no one else would have. Most people would have just said "alright, well, fuck you" and left. But in this game, you're the different one. You're the one that stayed. You're the one that helped. And you're the one that earns their softer side by doing so.

where can i download dlcs?
Hey! There are currently no available DLCs. The general consensus for the community was that we shouldn't sell something that is unfinished, so we haven't released any of them yet and won't until one is completed. We imagine the DLC girls will probably be something like $3 to $5 apiece, if that, and there will be some combo packs that come with multiple girls (Nichiri/Padget/Cerros is an example of an 3-pack since their stories are so tightly interwoven). The priority lately has been to get the S1 Rework done and pump out a couple more episodes of the main story before we really get to work on a ton of side story content. I do really wanna work on the DLCs but I have not had time. We'll get there, though.

DLC girls will be listed as separate projects on itch.io, so you'll see announcements when one releases with a link to get it. There will be freebie codes and giveaways and stuff like that here and there, so people who can't or don't want to pay for them will still have chances to get the DLC girls they want for free.

I feel like I should go back to Itch and rewrite the entire description of the game. Probably even change the word from Game to Story and see if that stops the complaints, 'cause people still seem to be surprised about what they're getting themselves into. Thank you all for your comments and suggestions, and if I missed anyone who needed an answer on something, lemme know, either here or in Discord!

-Vic
 

shitass1001

Active Member
Jun 8, 2021
875
2,831
So here's how I know this guy is not talking about WCA. I put HOURS of work into my sex scenes because the whole 1 position/three speeds/bust is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves in games with adult content. Here are some quick stats:
- Gillie's H-scene in the Cathedral: 21 stills and 14 video loops
- Secret Harpy Scene 1: 10 video loops, then 4 video loops of the goblins afterward, probably my lightest H-scene ever
- Aoibheann's finger scene: 8 stills and 21 video loops
- Jade's Gym scene: 32 video loops
- Tilai Season 1 scene: 26 video loops
- Ashley Memory scene: 5 stills, 31 video loops
- Jade's Cellar scene: 22 stills, 50 video loops
- Mouse's first H-scene: 24 stills, 22 video loops

"The sex scene are really basic, 5 second, one loop, end, below average."
Buddy, I realize you may not like the choices I made in the writing, but you ain't gotta come up in here straight LYING about the game. I dunno what game you're hating on, but it ain't WCA. Outta here with that mess.
I implore you to ignore what people like this say, the second you read that message it should have been proof enough that he is arguing in bad faith.
is it best to have multiple save or can i see all the content is one save?
From what I have seen, one save should be fine, down the line you might need to choose between a poly route or mono route with a character though.[/ISPOILER]
 
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VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
609
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is it best to have multiple save or can i see all the content is one save?
The story is built so that you should be able to see everything you want to see with one save file. I didn't want to build something that took multiple playthroughs and making you slog through the beginning of the story a thousand times. Missable content will be denoted with (parentheses) during choice segments that ask you whether or not you want to unlock a certain character's romance path. Other choices usually only get you some extra conditional dialogue or change the order in which you do things (such as the Overtime choice: that just affects whether you meet the nonhumans first and then hang with Gillie, or Gillie first and then the nonhumans).
 

S3XYYYY1

Member
Feb 26, 2019
262
145
The story is built so that you should be able to see everything you want to see with one save file. I didn't want to build something that took multiple playthroughs and making you slog through the beginning of the story a thousand times. Missable content will be denoted with (parentheses) during choice segments that ask you whether or not you want to unlock a certain character's romance path. Other choices usually only get you some extra conditional dialogue or change the order in which you do things (such as the Overtime choice: that just affects whether you meet the nonhumans first and then hang with Gillie, or Gillie first and then the nonhumans).
whats with the choices when the stalker girl has the knife to the mc then? the game plays out completely different depending on the choice. did i miss something?
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
609
2,554
whats with the choices when the stalker girl has the knife to the mc then? the game plays out completely different depending on the choice. did i miss something?
Ah, that's an exception I forgot. There's a right answer, an answer that gets you another try, and a wrong answer that
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But there's no missed content. It was more to show what Cecilia's triggers are, get a better idea of where her fragmented mind is at, and the type of approaches that do and don't work with her. This information will come in handy if you decide to unlock her side story and romance path in S2E5 when that comes out.
 

Jason177877

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Feb 27, 2019
21
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Ah, that's an exception I forgot. There's a right answer, an answer that gets you another try, and a wrong answer that
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But there's no missed content. It was more to show what Cecilia's triggers are, get a better idea of where her fragmented mind is at, and the type of approaches that do and don't work with her. This information will come in handy if you decide to unlock her side story and romance path in S2E5 when that comes out.
Speaking of that scene, if you pick the death options and keep clicking through, the game for some reason takes you waaay far ahead to the scene of seeing Nook again for some reason.
 

S3XYYYY1

Member
Feb 26, 2019
262
145
Speaking of that scene, if you pick the death options and keep clicking through, the game for some reason takes you waaay far ahead to the scene of seeing Nook again for some reason.
Yea this is what I’m taking about. Is it bugged? I thought the story just completely changed.
 

Tiur

Well-Known Member
Nov 13, 2021
1,237
3,383
A main character who looks past the personal offense to try to understand why the person acts the way they do,
For many reasons, and across several games, I am firmly convinced that there is a vocal minority who have no capability whatsoever to change their opinions about characters from the first strong opinion they have about the character, nor do they have any interest in changing those opinions. For those people, any slight by a character (and especially by an LI), no matter how minor, is unforgivable and deserves absolute and eternal punishment.
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
609
2,554
Speaking of that scene, if you pick the death options and keep clicking through, the game for some reason takes you waaay far ahead to the scene of seeing Nook again for some reason.
... that is absolutely a bug. That should be a Game Over. The only one in the game. Thanks for the heads-up. Adding to my list of fixes.
 

VictorSeven

Active Member
Game Developer
Oct 14, 2019
609
2,554
Alright. So. I have moved the Poly/Mono/None choice to Eshtel's personal file, and that's a decision you'll make in her side story in Season 2 instead of the main story. I've fixed the Cecilia scene bug and the dialogue bug, and I'm about to work on removing the conditional dialogue with Chiara regarding Eshtel, saving that for Eshtel's side story. Hopefully, that will ease a lot of the gripes and I can spend more time making the dialogue make sense and be more genuine instead of rushing things to meet a deadline. Currently fixing a string of typos someone found with a linter, and will fix some text on the morning after Gillie's cathedral hangout. I'm also gonna experiment with making the phone bubbles darker in hopes that makes the texting easier on the eyes.

Any other suggestions?
 

sadfuck

Newbie
Jan 22, 2021
51
431
Alright. So. I have moved the Poly/Mono/None choice to Eshtel's personal file, and that's a decision you'll make in her side story in Season 2 instead of the main story. I've fixed the Cecilia scene bug and the dialogue bug, and I'm about to work on removing the conditional dialogue with Chiara regarding Eshtel, saving that for Eshtel's side story. Hopefully, that will ease a lot of the gripes and I can spend more time making the dialogue make sense and be more genuine instead of rushing things to meet a deadline. Currently fixing a string of typos someone found with a linter, and will fix some text on the morning after Gillie's cathedral hangout. I'm also gonna experiment with making the phone bubbles darker in hopes that makes the texting easier on the eyes.

Any other suggestions?
Wowser. I dl'd the rework a few days ago, but it sounds like I should hold off to play?
 
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