Hi
The Naughty Three (hive mind?),
I played the 0.26 version and here's some feedback:
Good:
- Congratulations for getting this far, it's not easy!
- Spelling and grammar are pretty much perfect as far as I could see, good job.
- The art is good enough for the task. Maybe 8/10, with a bonus point for hand drawn.
Needs Improvement:
- Nearly all aspects of the story and dialogue are too "strong". It's the opposite of subtle and "show don't tell". MC is a pervert lusting over his family immediately. Big sis is super angry. Little sis loves MC. Mom is a milfy walkover. Events happen fast and furiously with no real challenge, and the magic "power" falls into MC's hands on the second day. It all feels rushed and as if reality was turned up to 200% saturation - there's no buildup or anticipation of reward.
- MC is too much of a pervert in his thoughts from the very first time he comes home. It would be a lot hotter if his own moral stance became more corrupted over time, and that initially he only unintentionally looked at his housemate's bodies and felt some shame at the lustful thoughts they cause. Only after some time (and perhaps some extended celibacy now he has no girlfriend) should he begin to admit to himself that he wants them.
- I wonder if this is due to changing the art, but the text descriptions do not match the images in some places: Dr. Somna's eyes are described as green but the image shows hazel eyes. Big Sis's clothing description is wrong (cleavage down to the navel? nope, that's a mesh panel that goes to the neckline)
- In the first hypnosis scene with little-sis, the images were only showing the standing art. Ideally you'd have some more specific art for this, with her sitting, laying on the bed, allowing MC to look at her without being caught.
A couple of bugs:
- There's one line where the text has the default MC name "Alex" instead of the input name string.
- There is a missing webm in the 1st dream sequence.
- Game text says you can see big-sis yoga session, but there are no images.
All in all a good start, may the force be with you.