BadMustard
Thank you for such an excellently written V/KN. I very rarely (pretty much never) follow a story with a female protagonist. However, I love your other game and decided to give this one a look. I think the notion of seeing the story from both sides is novel and, largely due to your writing skills, really works well. I really enjoyed this so far. Plus Gwen is sizzling hot and their interaction is incredibly real. Very solid technically. Very very well done over all.
Okay so that's what works. However, you've created a story where, we the players have become deeply invested in the two lovers. Blowing up that relationship,
especially if the reason is so lame as them actually having the same father, is a complete betrayal of your readers. Period.
Based on what we know of their feelings and mutual commitment there is simply NOTHING that they will accept as a reason to be parted. You can't have this both ways. They have been bonding for 14 years and Gwen's been in love since well before he left for college. No rationalization will mitigate the fallout of destroying their relationship. If for no other reason than to do so, dooms any romantic future between them. You can't sell this. It simply doesn't work.
As I always say, this is your story and I 100% support your absolute right to tell it as you see fit. I have great respect for the many talents you've demonstrated both here and in your other game, however, you screw with the emotional investment of your readers at your absolute peril.
I appreciate the obvious hard work and commitment to excellence that is shown here. Thank you for that. Normally I'd be looking forward to the next update, but honestly I feel a deep sense of foreboding for what's coming and the ugly expectation that after the next update I'll not be following what up to now has been a delightful and exceedingly well written tale. I hope you prove me wrong.
